OldTroubador's blog post - It's been 15 years

Rich woman, poor woman, beggar woman, thief
Doctor, lawyer, Indian chief.
Rebecca would have been 15 years old today. One year, eight months, and three weeks younger than her sister. I have wondered many times what she would be like. Would she have been studious, athletic, artistic, or some wonderful combination of these? Would she have raven hair or blonde? Blue eyes or hazel? So many imponderables that we wonder about with our children, made even more so because there is no way of telling now.
I sometimes sit here and wonder if she was able to dream in the womb, and what she might have dreamed about, for she never had a chance to dream here. Other times, I wonder what life would be like with two little smart alecks in the house. Each one aiding and abetting the other as they get into mischief. And then watching the wonderful transformation of each into her own persona.
I know many here don’t believe in Heaven. But I do; I have to. I have to believe that she is there, running and skipping and doing all the things that little girls do – things she never got a chance to do here. Because I have to believe that I will see Rebecca again and that this time, she will be perfect, as all angels are.
I don’t ask God for much for myself anymore. Just a couple things. First, that when my time on Earth is done, I be taken home after my parents. And secondly, I’m pretty sure that I am going to spend my eternity in Hell. But I ask that I be given a bit of time with my daughter, so I can hold her in my arms, kiss her, and listen to her tell me all that has gone on since I last held her. I want to see her with her family and friends. I want to tell her that I love her – always have, always will. After that, He can do with me what He will.
Well, life goes on. It has to. And I am extremely thankful for the daughter that I have; maybe more so than most. And I cherish every moment on the phone or in person with her.
But I still miss Rebecca, terribly.