TexAngel's blog post - I'm Not Okay. And That's Okay

Monday, July 31, 2017, 4:32:22 AM

Today has weighed heavy on me.

These past few months I've had a lot of loss happen in my life. From someone I deeply loved who turned out not to be the person I thought they were, to my great aunt dying and not even 12 hours later, one of my favorite uncles. This morning I lost a friend. Not a best friend. Not even a friend I was super close to, but a friend that was a breath of fresh air when she walked in a room. Who's smile beamed everywhere she went. Someone I was lucky to know and wished I had known better. My heart aches for her husband who adored her and her three boys who will now have to grow up without her. Especially for her little one who probably won't even remember his short 2 years with her.

Life changes so rapidly and so unexpectedly. Sometimes those changes make you question everything. The if's, the why's. It can make your head spin.

I'm healthy. My family is healthy and happy and thriving. We have a roof over our head and we never go hungry. I'm so grateful for everything and everyone I have in my life. These past few months though just go to show how that can all be ripped out from under you in a blink of an eye.

Today, I'm not okay. I need my soul to rest. I will remember all I have that's good in my life though and cherish the people I do have for as long as I'm given the gift to be here on this earth.

Comments

Others Have Said:

Diggingdeeper on 31-Jul-17 7:44:33

I am so sorry for your hardships if I can do anything to help you with your thinking let me know please

Allure on 31-Jul-17 8:42:21

So much hurt and loss in such a short space of time... it's little wonder your head is spinning.
Take the time you need for your heart to heal and life to adjust and settle.
Sending hugs xxxx

flitterbee on 31-Jul-17 9:53:23

You know where to find me for a chat if you need or just want a chat.

xoxo

johnnyel on 31-Jul-17 17:48:40

Yes I hear you I always let everybody know how much they mean to me. My wife had to go back to work this morning after 2 weeks off I miss her already. I always make sure I tell her I love her. Bless you .

Wodja on 31-Jul-17 18:27:18

A simple <3

I could say lots or not. A simple <3 of understanding. Sometimes just being understanding is it.

jake5270 on 31-Jul-17 18:30:05

Life can be cruel and swat us down when things are going good. I lost 3 people very close to me when I was 13 and three years later I started acting out. You didn't go see a shrink in my day... you just learned how to cope. I lost the love of my life at age 25. I lost my Mother and Father to cancer when I was in my 40's. I went bankrupt at age 52. I am alive and thankful for everything I have now as I approach retirement next year. Knowing that you have a lot of good in your life is the first stp to overcoming grief, as you have shown. Hang in there. Take the time to grieve. Life goes forward and you will too.

lip2lip on 31-Jul-17 21:58:54

Take a break, relax unwind. Love what's close and share the time with them. Can't say more as it won't mean a thing...... be safe be warm but most of all just be you...

Everyone says it. Talk if and when you want, you no me and we're to get me

Shyguy1976 on 31-Jul-17 22:04:29

Amen.... I too have gone thru a lot this year so I can understand your pain...*hugs*

safire19 on 1-Aug-17 8:08:16

sending hugs ..... xxx <3

amancalledpony on 1-Aug-17 18:05:12

This is a reminder to all of us to love and appreciate out family and friends. All too suddenly they may not be here. *hugs*

MilesLong66 on 8-Aug-17 13:10:11

I'm sorry to see that you are having a rough time right now. It takes a little time before you can look up and not notice the pain, quite so much. If you need a shoulder.....