Saw a few mourning cloak butterflies on my hike after therapy today...sadly, flickr isn't working for me so I can't share. I've been perusing my cookbooks for cake recipes...I've gotta start trying different cupcakes...which is something I'm looking forward to, and not at the same time. For the same reason. I love cake. And while some cake here and there would be fine, I'm probably going to have to try a lot of different ones out, and then all those cupcakes are just going to beg me to eat them.

Reminds me, I need to read a couple chapters from "Writing Down the Bones" and do a bit of writing. (I was reminded because Natalie Goldberg uses Zen principles in her approach to writing.)

Saw this Marsh Mallow on my little walk with my oldest this morning.

I'd rather play a sex game...



I've heard guys talk about how she's really a dude...she's not really pretty, but I find her feminine and really sexy.

I am so frustrated! In more ways than one, but the primary one of the moment is my landline. I was still having issues with it only working some of the time and having a lot of static on the line. I picked up a corded phone this past weekend so I could plug it in the NID box outside the house...and it worked great. So I thought I probably need a new dsl filter. But after I plugged the modular line back in the NID, it won't work at all. My phone says it's in use and I get a busy signal when I call from my cell. But as soon as I unplug the modular line in that little grey box...and it doesn't help any that I couldn't sleep last night. I went to bed a little after 10 but I was still awake at two. And I've been jumpy and jittery all day. (Cause I've had sex on the brain-more than I usually do-since yesterday evening and I haven't been like this in a really long time.) I'm so tired right now, but doubtful I'll be able to sleep. I was tired last night, hence the early bedtime. For all the good it did me. (And I have to keep talking myself out of trying to get a certain somebody's attention...cause I know, if he wanted to give it to me, I wouldn't have to look for it.) Oh well.

So, I was looking for replacement batteries Saturday; the battery says LR1 N on it...and of course, I couldn't find any labeled in that size...although there were plenty of N-sized ones...how blonde of me not to realize they were the same thing. Which reminds me, I've been waiting for school to start before I order any new toys...still doing a little window shopping, but I've got my mind (mostly) made up. Think I'm going to get a pair of those pearls, try something new. (Just definitely NOT getting anything with rotating pearls!)

Had a good time out. I got told I was really cute. And one of my future son-in-law's cousins was flirting with me. I was surprised my oldest didn't yell at him. She has all kinds of rules about me dating, and one of them is I'm not allowed to date any of her fiance's cousins. (She also doesn't want me dating anyone under or over a certain age or with a lot of kids.)

I was hoping to see an ex, although I knew I wouldn't. I mean, we had been talking again, but the last time I saw him, he was giving me all these excuses as to how he was too busy for a relationship. He finally admitted he just wanted sex from me. I feel so hurt...and when someone says something to you that conveys they don't see your worth as a person, that is one of the ickiest feelings ever. Maybe if I wasn't in love with him, I would be fine hooking up once in awhile. But it's not the same as it was before. I was trying so hard not to feel hurt (or vulnerable) that I was shutting down all my feelings but it was the emotional connection I felt that made sex with him amazing. And he didn't seem to understand why we couldn't be "friends." A friend isn't someone who uses you for sex. He was also surprised I didn't call or text him the previous week. Well, apart from a 2 minute call he made (to make sure I'd gotten home safely) he didn't contact me, either. And after being told he's only interested in an occasional screw, why would I bother? I would just be setting myself up for a lot of pain and I have to live with me. I happen to like myself a whole lot and I want to continue to feel good about myself. And yes, I'm hurting right now, but I won't always feel this way.

On a different note, while I was getting my hair done yesterday, I thought that would be a good idea to try something different. So, while I was sitting under the dryer, I read a couple chapters from "Writing Down the Bones" and wrote some. And decided I should share more of my poetry. I don't write because I'm hoping to make a lot of money or be famous (I actually intend to use a pen name if I ever get published) although having a nice income from writing would be great. I write because I can't help it, because it's part of who I am.

Heard this on my way home last night.

So excited today. My oldest did my hair earlier and I'm loving the color. She even styled it for me. I put my hair up before I jumped in for a quick shower...and it got all curly and poofy on me. I can't get it to look the same, but I guess that's why she's the professional.




Well, I'm almost ready to go out and shake what my momma gave me. (Mostly waiting on a pair of jeans in the dryer.)

I thought this was cute and sexy at the same time.


I hope i haven't missed any important phone calls. I thought it was my phone (the landline one) so I picked up a new one a few days ago. My best friend calls me on my cell cause she would get one ring and static...turns out, it was the dsl filter. Oh, well. I needed a new phone anyway. I'm supposed to call her back but I don't feel like it at the moment. She could have me on the phone for hours...and I need to take a shower (among other things) while I have the house to myself.

Took me a bit to figure out what I did wrong. Boy, don't I feel brilliant. Anyway, I love this song.