Yikes...have about ten minutes before the birthday girl gets home.

My youngest is so lucky; she gets to celebrate her birthday 3 different times. Today, so her big sister and future brother-in-law could have dinner with her, tomorrow on her actual birthday, and Saturday when she gets to have a couple friends over.

Spent almost the entire day with my oldest. It was kind of nice. Looking forward to our morning walk tomorrow. Also looking forward to when she leaves and I will actually have the house to myself for a couple hours. I've barely had any privacy or alone time for over a week and in desperate need of some. Although I'm sure I'll spend most of it doing chores. But at least they'll be chores I'm doing by myself. And who knows? Maybe I'll even sneak a little writing in.

My feelings are hurt. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Follow your heart, not your head; that's stupid advice. I guess I should also know by now that if someone's ever treated me like a 7-11, no matter how much they supposedly miss me, it isn't me they miss. It's the treating me like a 7-11. But if I was clear before that I am in fact, not a 7-11 and expect to be treated a certain way (definitely not as a convenience) why in the hell would they come back and think it's okay for them to treat me as if I am a 7-11 anyway? I'll be okay; I always am. I just wish it was a different week. I don't want to deal with feeling unhappy when I have my youngest's birthday to deal with.

The other reason I've been down, moody lately is because today is the anniversary of my mother's death.

Just came in from working in my garden, decided to sit down and relax before getting in the shower and my nephew calls cause he wants to come over. I told him in half an hour...not going to give me much relaxing time.

My back is killing me. I've been digging in my garden and there is a large amount of fair-sized rocks. Some of them I shouldn't even be trying to lift. Finally had the brilliant idea of pushing one with my legs. Wish I'd thought of that with the one I broke my shovel on but I'm not going to dig it out and try that. I also found an orange cable running through my garden, just a few inches under the surface. I could be wrong, but I'm positive that wasn't there when I first moved in.

I keep planning on making chocolate chip oatmeal cookies but when I might have the time, I'm too tired. (Or just plain not motivated.) Like now, I feel like I could use a nap.

Another Saturday night home...ugh...and next weekend, my youngest is having her birthday party. Thank god, the weekend after that, my oldest's longest best friend (since kindergarten) is celebrating her 21st. So I can make up a month"s worth...and then it will be MY birthday. What I want for my birthday doesn't take a genius to figure out...but I haven't had that in way too long (on my birthday anyway) for me to admit without embarrassment. I'll probably end up ordering myself something instead. Although awesome sex would be the loveliest thing.

Spent my day getting side-tracked/distracted one way or another. Almost forgot I had therapy. (Until about a minute after I was supposed to be there.) When I got back from that, it was so gorgeous out, I had to sped the rest of the day outside. So I got some gardening in. Of course, I lost track of time with that...and completely forgot I was washing my bedding. (Had company over, too; my youngest nephew in the area came over to visit second time this week.) Right now, I would love to just fall into my bed...but unfortunately, none of my bedding is done.

Can't remember my password for my voicemail. Funny I need that to listen to it but not to delete it. It wasn't important anyway. That female-jeez, we just met for coffee once-I'm not even going to offer her an explanation (or anything) because that's just going to encourage her.

Thinking about baking more cupcakes tomorrow. Or maybe I'll make some chocolate chip oatmeal cookies. I'm so tired right now, it's kind of hard to imagine tomorrow at all.

I have to go to the school this evening, volunteered an hour and half of my time for this dinner/fundraiser for the end-of-year class trip. I opted for serving because I don't want to clean-up behind everyone at home all the time so I certainly don't want to go somewhere else to clean.

Anyway, Saturday, I had that coffee date. I thought it was just supposed to be coffee, not an actual date, but it was (in her eyes) a date. One that I will not be repeating. I admire women, I like looking at them (cause us women are beautiful creatures) but I have never wanted to be in a serious relationship with one. And put all that aside, she has way too many problems and she's way too needy. Constantly texting, then calling when I don't respond. (Thank god I realized I could set her ring tone to "no ring." I have a freakin' life! She also told me she's a "little" bipolar. Maybe I'm wrong, but I always thought you're either bipolar or you're not. It could have been nice making a new friend, but not one who appears to be mentally unbalanced.

I started taking a biotin supplement a few weeks ago. To help my hair grow cause I miss my long hair and my oldest wants my hair long for her wedding. Granted, I forget to take it sometimes, but the only place I noticed a difference is downstairs and on top of that, my nails keep tearing/breaking. That's never been a problem before. Now, I'm going to take advantage of what alone time I have left and (hopefully) de-stress before I have to go up to the school.

She has such a beautiful voice.


So, I'm in an exceptionally good mood right now. Probably in direct correlation to the time spent with the object of my affections. He took some pictures of me, but that didn't last long. Because other things, ah, came up.

Well, it's supposed to be rainy out tomorrow so hiking's probably out of the question. Wishing it was still summery...my tan is fading.

I wish people would stop complaining about Miley. I think she's a very talented young woman. This song is beautiful (and made me teary-eyed the first time I heard it.) Maybe it's a bit weird when she licks the weight, but for the most part, it's sad and erotic.


I (finally) have my room almost clean. I'm not counting my closet (I have to put my stuff somewhere) but my writing stuff is no longer all over my floor and my chair is almost clothing-free. (If I do have company, I won't be embarrassed.) Still have laundry to do, and I want to make cookies...I might get the laundry done, but unless I suddenly get a bunch of energy, I probably won't be making any cookies. I'm so tired and tomorrow's going to be a busy day. (And a fun one!)

Didn't want to get up this morning, I hurt so much. But I had to make lunch for my youngest and (eventually) take the dog out and give her fresh water and food. Made it to therapy, took my little hike by the lake...part of it in the lake. Checking the beaches for good picture-taking places, just in case. My therapist says I shouldn't expect him to do all the calling. The thing is, though, I almost always contact him first. And there are lots of other reasons I'm hesitant. And then there's that whole phone phobia thing. I think I'm going to work in my garden now and think about things a bit.