THANK GOD...finally Friday. OMFG I never thought this week was going to be over..even though in a strange way it also went kinda fast. Unfortunatly I still have to work OT tomorrow...but at least Saturdays are more relaxed and I can leave when I want to.
The funeral went ok (if you can say that about a funeral). Later on in the afternoon I saw a rainbow...a full one at that and I took it as a sign everything is going to be ok.

My big grief with funerals is why is that the one time I see all my family???

When I was growing up I lived in NS and everytime I came to PEI we would stay at my grandparents and people would come there and visit us. But even more so then that my great grandparents were still alive and at any time day or night there were always family there. Always something cooking (and on the old wood stove to boot..even though the house was modern-my mamie would have never lived without her woodstove...everything tasted better on it even if it was burned lol), people playing cards, someone growling at someone and more love then any house could ever hold.
I come from a Effed up family to say the least-if you point to someone I can say they are related but I have no idea how...if I ever tried to do a family tree I am sure it would look like the branches were eatting each other the way the would need to cross over each other so often.
My family is so seperated now my poor mamie must be heartbroken. In my immediate family alone I saw my dad last year for the first time in 3 1/2 years (and not since), my mom I saw for the first time last year in over 10 years(again not since). And the person I love the most, my big lil brother (he's younger but a good foot taller lol)I haven't seen since he was 18...he's 23 now =0(
I find it so odd that the closer the world comes with internet capabilities, air lines, etc..that the futhter we are from our family in a lot of cases. I am at the point now where people I talk to online are almost as close, if not closer than my relatives. By the time I have kids, or grandkids it makes me wonder if family in the traditional sense will even be important anymore?
Damn I rambled on again...hehe oh well when I am crazy this will give me a basis of what drove me there.

Top 10 Worst Names For Amusement Park Rides
10. Ol' Rust Bucket.
9. The Kid-a-pult.
8. The Sphincter Puckerer.
7. The G-Force Ball Swallower.
6. Montezuma's Revenge water ride.
5. The refurbished roller coaster: Metal Fatigue.
4. Dale Earnhardt Bumper cars.
3. "Caged Heat" women's prison land.
2. The Abandoned-refrigerator kiddie land.
And the number one worst amusement park ride name...
1. Pamela Anderson's 3-D Theater.

Top 10 Signs You've Joined a Cheap HMO
10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you enter the trailer park".
8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
7. Only proctologist in the plan is Gus from Roto-Rooter.
6. Only item listed under Preventative Care feature is "an apple a day".
5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2. Your pills come in different colors with little "M"s on them.
And the number one sign you've joined a cheap HMO...
1. You ask for Viagra. You get a popsicle stick and duct tape.


Top 10 Suggested Names For Wal-Mart Wine
10. Box O' Grapes.
9. Big Red Gulp.
8. Grape Expectations.
7. NASCARbernet.
6. Chef Boyardeaux.
5. Chateau des Moines.
4. Martha Stewart's Sour Grapes.
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. World Championship Wriesling.
And the number one name for Wal-Mart Wine...
1. Nasti Spumanti.


Top 10 Signs You Need A Vacation
10. You're so tired you now answer the phone "hell".
9. Your best friend calls to ask how you've been and you immediately scream, "Get off my back, BITCH!".
8. Your garbage can is your "in" box.
7. You wake up to discover your house is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.
6. You consider a 40 hour week a vacation.
5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.
4. You don't set your alarm anymore because you know your pager will go off before your alarm does.
3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your briefcase.
2. Your Day-Timer exploded a week ago.
And the number one sign you need a vacation...
1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.

First a quick sorry for my last blog...but I am not deleting it because my thoughts are just a part of me as my tits are...they just don't always get the same amount of attention.

Today was a little better even though I had to do some over time so that I am going to be able to take time off for the funeral. Two things about this
1) working to take time to go say goodbye to someone...this is just wrong no matter what way you look at it
and
2) who the hell decided funeral should spelled starting with FUN?? thats twisted I tell ya...maybe Funend or something.

Anyways onto the brighter side of life. My birthday is in 1 month and 2 days...wooohooo. Not that I want to get older but any reason to party is always good. And this year I plan on bringing on a new year with a BANG, if you get my drift hehe.

Love and Kisses to all (yes I said ALL..hey I never said *where* to kiss!)

Lately this issue has been on my mind..A good family friend is dying of lung cancer. Now I could blog on the importance of spending time with loved ones and telling them you love them (I was supposed to go say goodbye tonight as I knew the end was coming and wanted to leave the last hours for immediate family) but we all know the importance of it, and if you are talking about "should haves" then it is already too late.
I could go on about how much I hate "cancer sticks" aka cigarettes and how you are getting nothing from them. This is the second person I have had to watch suffer from lung cancer and it is NOT pretty. But I am not your mother or a healthcare worker so I will leave it be.
My issue today is the pain I feel for her family, especially one of her daughters. First off the husband/father had a stroke a few years ago and now can no longer look after himself. He cannot speak or be left alone. He knows what is happening and can't do anything but sit there and watch his wife die...He can't even say "I Love You" one last time.
So all of this time, one of the daughters has had to take a leave from work to try and care for her dad while spending as much time with her mom.

Now the other daughter comes in...here is where I would be lost as for what to do. She is 8 months pregnant and lives across the country. She was always "mommies baby". Because she is so far in the pregnancy she can't fly. They agreed to do a section on her...Tomorrow. She has tickets to fly home Saturday. All week she has dealt with "what to do". Does she try to have the section even earlier? What if something is wrong with the baby? Should she rush home to spend the last few hours with her mom who has been with her all of her life? But at the same time..how do you pass up those oh so important initial bonding peroids with the child?
I think I would drive myself insane. When you are an outsider sometimes it makes it easier to see the right path...other times..being in the situation makes it easier. I wish her all the strength in dealing with choices she makes....

All of this is a moot point now...she passed away at 1:30 this afternoon, without her daughter at her side. Please don't offer me condolences or sympathy/empathy, I will deal with this at the funeral in my own way. It not my pain I am dealing with.

I don't even know why I blogged this..maybe to work it out in my own head. I thought it was to express how hard decions are to make but the more I write...I see all I am doing is talking in circles.

To her daughter I leave this thought "Death ends a life, not a relationship" I pray the memories already made carry you on, and that everytime you share a memory with your children it makes you smile and continue on with her legacy.

My house is a disaster area and then some today. Its been so hot and humid all week I have been nothing but lazy. So instead of spending the day perving and playing on NN, I get to get down and dirty and not in a good way.
YUCK YUCK YUCK........
and on that note

My NN pic pages are getting too big and I am going to clean that out in the next few days (anyone who knows me and knows how much I procrastinate knows you are safe for a day or two). Most of my pics aren't even being looked at so its time to trim them back and only leave some up. If you have a certain one you want left please let me know (do not say all of them because I am not keeping them all up)I am not complaining over views or even hinting...I know how big NN has grown and there are just not enough hours to perv all pics.

Now if I can get all that done and the sun comes back out I am going to try a few ideas I have for theme week.

Happy Sunday all...love, sex and happiness coming your way (today I would settle for the sex-this weekend I have been hornier then ...well LuNNa!)

mwahhhhhhhhh
Beachy

Alternative 'I Will Survive'

At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches Lord I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many yrs just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on. .

But there you are, Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry,
I should have known that it was bullshit,
Just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.

Go on now go, Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prick to think I wouldn't catch you out,
Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count.

(Chorus)
I will survive, I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex,
I will survive, I will survive. . .hey . hey

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs, Now
I'm saving all my lovin for a cordless multispeed,

Go on now go,Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash,
I should have asked for confirmation,
Should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me.

Go on now go,
Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers,
Cos I'll always throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick
Dip it in tomato sauce

HAHA so many of these are exactly what I do when drinking (hehe but I am not telling what ones )
We have all been there... We have all been there... 21 clues a woman should call it a night...


1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.

2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too.

4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.

5 . I drop my 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.

6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much

7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.

8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.

9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.

10 . The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.

11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.

14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.

15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."

16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.

17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.

19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.

20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.

21. I start believing that everyone in the room wants to see my boobs

I am sorry that I have been so distant with everyone and sorry to all that are worried about me.
I am facing a huge moral issue right now and I don't know what to do. Basically there are 4 scenarios...
1) I tell what I know (well what I am 95& sure of) and if its true I hurt at a minumum four people to the point their lives change forever.
2) I tell and I am wrong....then I lose trust in so many people and some people who I am very close to me will no longer be close.
3)I don't tell..everything stays the same for everyone-at least until it comes out (if I am right)but then I am doing what I am doing now...hurting so bad and so confused I feel out of touch with reality.
4) I don't tell and it goes away (god I so want this to happen) but in the back of my mind I will always wonder

If I talk to the person then everything changes. If I am right then its in the open and that is going to be a lot of weight on my shoulders wondering what to do. If they deny it then I am left wondering am I crazy and dreamed it all..or are they only covering.
If I am wrong and bring it out-well I will have hurt so many people and for no reason.

I know I am being vague but I can't get into it. There is no one in the situation going to be hurt if I say nothing besides me. There is no abuse going on, or anything dangerous.

How does one make a decision that no matter what I choose effects so many lives? What gives me the right/responsibility to be that person?

I am so confused and scared..I guess I am not looking for anwsers because they aren't there. I just need an outlet to sort it out

I realized tonight someone I know has no respect back for me. Coming to this conclusion I don't see how we can ever be close. I am not talking about being put down, abused or made fun. I am more talking about no respect that I am a person too and I am important.
Maybe in the morning things will be different but for now I don't think so.
I didn't want to open my eyes because that means I have to face the truth..but I guess sometime we need to do that

Moving on..~

LOL I was kinda on the bored side tonight so I went to bingo with some friends (yes Little old lady, B-5, b-i-n-g-o)
The first half I get set on a three line game for 067 -the prize was $300! then I got set again the same game, on the same card....on a special number. Had I won I would have won $1688!!! I was shaking so bad my arms hurt trying to hold the marker. I wanted to puke! Then on the screen that shows the next number coming there was my 67! But some BINGO BITCH yelled bingo and I won nothing. Well nothing but stress and an extreme wish to execute some one.
So the night passes..we are on the last game..a full card.. and I am bored out of my mind. Suddenly I look down and I need two numbers..then the caller called one and I was set...I was so EFFIN excited.....I MISSED THE FACT ONE OF MY OTHER CARDS HAD WON!!!! By the time I realized it some other people yelled too...so instead of $500 I won $125.

I am happy I won but wow! $500 would come in handy