>
>
> There are African Americans,
>
> Mexican Americans,
>
> Asian Americans,
>
> Arab Americans,
>
> Native Americans, etc.
>
> ...And then there are just -
>
> Americans.
>
>
>
> You pass me on the street
>
> and sneer in my direction.
>
> You Call me "White boy,"
>
> "Cracker," "Honkey,"
>
> "Whitey," "Caveman,"
>
> ...And that's OK.
>
>
>
> But when I call you Nigger,
>
> Kike, Towel head,
>
> Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey,
>
> Beaner, Gook, or Chink,
>
> ...You call me a racist.
>
>
>
> You say that whites commit a lot
>
> of violence against you,
>
> so why are the ghettos the most
>
> dangerous places to live?
>
>
>
> You have the United Negro College Fund.
>
> You have Hispanic History Month.
>
> You have Martin Luther King Day.
>
> You have Asian History Month.
>
> You have Black History Month.
>
> You have Cesar Chavez Day.
>
> You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.
>
> You have Yom Hashoah.
>
> You have Kawanza.
>
> You have the NAACP.
>
> And you have BET.
>
>
>
> If we had WET
>
> (White Entertainment Television)
>
> ...We'd be racists.
>
>
>
> If we had a White Pride Day
>
> ...You would call us racists.
>
>
>
> If we had White History Month
>
> ...We'd be racists.
>
> If we had any organization for only whites
>
> to "advance"OURlives,
>
> ...We'd be racists.
>
>
>
> We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce,
>
> a Black Chamber of Commerce,
>
> and then we just have the plain
>
> Chamber of Commerce.
>
> Wonder who pays for that?
>
>
>
> If we had a college fund that only gave
>
> white students scholarships
>
> ...You know we'd be racists.
>
>
>
> There are over 60 openly-proclaimed
>
> Black-only Colleges in the US ,
>
> yet if there were "White-only Colleges"
>
> ...THAT would be a racist college.
>
>
>
> In the Million-Man March,
>
> you believed that you were
>
> marching for your race and rights.
>
> If we marched for our race and rights,
>
> ...You would call us racists.
>
>
>
> You are proud to be black,
>
> brown, yellow and red,
>
> and you're not afraid to announce it.
>
> But when we announce our white pride
>
> ...You call us racists.!
>
>
>
> You rob us,
>
> carjack us,
>
> and shoot at us.
>
> But, when a white police officer
>
> shoots a black gang member
>
> or beats up a black drug-dealer
>
> who is running from the LAW and
>
> posing a threat to ALL of society
>
> ...You call him a racist.
>
>
>
> I am proud.
>
> ...But, you call me a racist.
>
>
>
> Why is it that only
>
> whites
>
> can be racists?
>

I heard the door slam
and i couldn't tell was it just the wind
or was she mad again - ah hell
she's gettin in her car
i hollered baby is there something wrong
thought i heard her say something sounding like i'm gone
but these days gone can mean so many things.

chorus:
theres gone for good and theres good and gone
and theres gone with the long before it
i wish she'd been just a little more clear
well theres gone for the day and gone for the night
and gone for the rest of your dogone life
is it whiskey night or just a couple beers
i mean what kind of gone are we talkin bout here


well its gettin dark out, she ain't back yet
ain't called home, turned off the phone
ah man hah this might not be good
i would have stopped her, when she went to leave
but i didn't 'cause i didn't really think what i'm thinkin now
i'm still not sure what gone is all about

chorus
theres gone for good and theres good and gone
and theres gone with the long before it
i wish she'd been just a little more clear
well theres gone for the day and gone for the night
and gone for the rest of your dogone life
is it whiskey night or just a couple beers
i mean what kind of gone are we talkin bout here

is it the kind of gone where she's at her mom's cooling down
she'll come around or the kind that says you had your chance
and she ain't comin back

chorus
theres gone for good and theres good and gone
and theres gone with the long before it
i wish she'd been just a little more clear
well theres gone for the day and gone for the night
and gone for the rest of your dogone life
is it whiskey night or just a couple beers
i mean what kind of gone are we talkin bout
what kinda gone are we talkin bout
what kinda gone are we talkin bout here
what kinda gone

I heard it through the grapevine
My new neighbor don't like my big red barn
A '47 Ford, bullet holes in the door
Broke down motor in the front yard
I got half a mind to paint a plywood sign
And nail it up on a knotty pine tree
Sayin' I was here first
This is my piece of dirt
And your rambling don't rattle me

Some people care about what other people think
Worry about what they say
Let a little gossip
Coming from a loose lip ruin a perfect day
Sayin', blah, blah, blah, just a jacking their jaws
Got a let it roll off-a my back
I don't give a dern what other people think
What do ya think about that

I wear what I want to, overalls work boots
Crank my music up loud
Like to sling a little mud in my four wheel drive
Trek it on into town

Shoot a little eight ball down at the pool hall
Drink a beer with my friends
Now don't judge me and I won't judge you
Cause we all get judged in the end

Some people care about what other people think
Worry about what they say
Let a little gossip
Coming from a loose lip ruin a perfect day
Sayin', blah, blah, blah, just a jacking their jaws
Got a let it roll off-a my back
I don't give a dern what other people think
What do ya think about that

Some people care about what other people think
Worry about what they say
Let a little gossip
Coming from a loose lip ruin my perfect day
Sayin', blah, blah, blah, just a jacking their jaws
Got a let it roll off-a my back
I don't give a dern what other people think
What do ya think about that

Say, I don't give a damn what other people think
What do ya think about that
What do ya think about that

'Sittin out here on the hood of this truck lookin up, at a caramel covered sun set sky, checkin my watch doin the math in my head countin back words to when you said goodbye. With those runway lights gettin brighter
Im just sittin out here watchin airplanes take off and flyy, tryin to figure out which one you might be on and whyyy you dont love me anymore, right now im sittin out here watchin airplanes
I wouldnt lie, couldve cried shoudve tried harder done anything to make you stay i wonder what you would do if you looked out your window and saw me runnin down the runway just like i was crazy that fence is too high so am i


So im just sittin out here watchin airplanes take off and flyy tryin to figure out which one you might be on and whyy you dont love me anymore right now i know your 30,000 feet above me but a million miles away, a million miles away by now i know i aught to act like u dont love me.
Im just sittin out here watchin airplanes take off and fly im just sittin out here watchin airplanes take off and flyyy tryin to figure out which one you might be on and whyy you dont love me anymore yea im just sittin out here watchin airplanes go byyyye byye bye im just sittin out here watchin airplanes baby byee bye bye bye bye yea im just sittin out here watchin airplanes byee bye bye bye'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC5uSKLdRCI

Things can always get worse, you could be a siamese twin stuck to your gay brother who has a date tonight and you share a Butt

I came to see her daddy for sit down man to man
It wasn't any secret i'd be asking for her hand
I guess that's why he left me waiting in the living room by myself
with at least a dozen pictures of her sitting on a shelf

[Chorus;]

She was playing Cinderella
She was riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
In her eyes i'm Prince Charming
But to him i'm just some fella
riding in and stealing Cinderella

I leaned in towards those pictures to get a better look at one
When I heard a voice behind me say "Now, ain't she something, son?"
I said "Yes, she quite a woman" and he just stared at me
Then I realized that in his eyes she would always be

Playing Cinderella
Riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
In her eyes i'm Prince Charming
But to him i'm just some fella riding in and stealing Cinderella

He slapped me on the shoulder
Then he called her in the room
When she threw her arms around him
That's when I could see it too

She was Playing Cinderella
Riding her first bike
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him
If he gives me a hard time
I can't blame the fella
I'm the one who's stealing Cinderella

People say she's only in my head
Gonna take time but I'll forget
Say I need to get on with my life
What they don't realize

Is when you're dialing 6 numbers just to hang up the phone
Driving cross town just to see if she's home
Waking a friend in the dead of the night
just to hear him say it'll be alright dapslyrics
When you're finding things to do at night, not fall asleep (?)
Know she will be there in your dreams
that's when she's
more than a memory

took a page to everything she ever wrote(?)
watched every word go up in smoke
tore all her pictures off the wall
that aint helping me at all

'Cause when you're talking out loud to nothing but air
you look like hell and you just don't care
you're drinking more than you ever drank
and sinking down lower than you ever sank
then you find yourself falling on your knees
shaking your fist, begging "please"
that's when she's
more than a memory

People say she's only in my head
Gonna take time but I'll forget
but when she's in every minute of every day
every thought i think
every breath i take
she's everywhere and she's everything
she's more than a memory

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).
3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognise the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewellery is for wussies and Asian ladies.
7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words "fuck you!" and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.
10. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really pissed off when you don't call.
11. Warm her up when she's cold... and not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. Guys always find stuff like that funny... why shouldn't girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things (like pumping iron).
15. Spit often. Girls like guys that spit.
16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way, she'll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it (but not a sexy cologne smell... a bad smell. You know what I'm talking about).
21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "no, it's just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.
22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.
23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.
24. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much, but guys think it's funny.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed

...You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

...You own a $300 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

...You have more wives than teeth.

...You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

...You've ever opened a can of falafel with a mortar round.

...You used a Stinger missile given to you by George Bush Sr. to shoot at a helicopter sent by George Bush Jr.

...You’ve ever had your camel repossessed.

...You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

...You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

...You’ve ever been asked, "Does this burka make my ass look fat?"

...You think "The Kite Runner" is the funniest book you ever read.

...You’ve felt the urge to rub one out after seeing a woman’s exposed ankle.

...You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

...You’ve ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you’ve done with your cave."

...You wipe your asswith your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."