So... I was in the midst of coming completely unwound Friday morning due to all the things I'm juggling and my constant forgetfulness to ask for help from family members. Why is it I keep thinking they'll just notice all that needs done and pitch in? Silly me.

Well, Poohbare noticed. He said he'd take care of calling agencies and getting some info. We met with a woman from a local group today and were real impressed. It'll currently be companion care and whoever comes will help with light housekeeping and make sure Mom gets her lunch. They don't do any medical care, but Poohbare can handle the finger test before lunch. OMG OMG OMG just to have someone help out a bit around the house mid-week will be amazing. The girlspawn and I do the major housework on the weekends, but by midweek you can't tell we did much. I don't have the energy and she doesn't have the motivation. I'm totally psyched!

AND IT GETS BETTER! Dad was a Korean War vet with an honorable discharge. Mom meets all the criteria for the Aid & Attendance program. The monthly benefit should more than cover the 12 hours/week we signed up for with the caregivers. I cannot put into words the weight lifted off my shoulders and mind at the moment.

Pardon me while I sit here and bask in the glow for a bit.

Yeah... so... we decided to cook a turkey for dinner tonight. Poohbare did the prep cuz he's lots better at it than I am. We put it in the oven and I set the timer for 3 1/2 hours.

A couple minutes ago, he looks at me and asks what time it is. 3:27. He says he thinks the oven clock is broken cuz it says 2:42.

I blink a couple times, grin and say I bet it says 2:41 or maybe even 2:40 by now. Bet it'll say 2:30 in about ten minutes.

It's running backwards? How'd that happen? That's just weird.

Or it could be that I set the timer, honey.

Oh. Bitch.

*giggle*

Yeah... so... Herbie likes to step on me as frequently as possible. To save on the "pics or it didn't happen" comments, here's a pic. It happened. Note the paw shape--toes included.
Sheesh.

[IMG]http://i1174.photobucket.com/albums/r620/stupidstuff0102/herbiebruise_zps1acebb90-1_zpsf3aaf2c6.jpg[/IMG]

Yay! The programmable dog food dispensers arrived and after a couple tries, I got em working correctly. To hear Mom's snippy lil comments, I was hellbent on letting the dogs starve to death. Who knew? Silly me. I thought that whole "feeding them twice a day" thing prevented starvation, but I could be wrong.

So... now there is one less thing to deal with twice a day. Anything that takes a lil pressure off is aces with me!

As a bonus, the cats are utterly fascinated when they hear the motor start up and the kibble drops into the bowl after which they start batting the food around til the dogs arrive. Cat toy AND dog feeder. Win/Win

Yeah... so... it's been one hell of a long week, but slowly we're all adjusting to our new normal. Physical therapist and occupational therapist come tomorrow to do evaluations and figure out their game plan. The home health nurse is a true gem and a pleasure to work with. She's getting us set up with a wheelchair so Mom can get out to stores and such, talking with the doc about anti-depressants and his long term goals. She's taking a bunch of burdens off my shoulders and I'm ever so grateful.

The girlspawn has really stepped up and done me proud. I always knew she had it in her to shine - all that was lacking was a good reason. I'm 100% comfortable with her talking to the various caregivers and filling them in on stuff, discussing options and suggestions and reporting back to me later. She's showing maturity that takes the outsiders off-guard but just makes me smirk. Most of the time that kid makes me nuts, but every single time I've really needed her, she's come through for me with flying colors.

Tonight I'm relaxing with a bottle of wine, Poohbare at my side, and a four-day weekend ahead. Things are still stressful, but I'm hitting my stride and can finally breathe again.

Thank you again for the support and encouragement. It means the world to me.

xoxo
HP

Yeah... so... Mom came home on the 22nd as anticipated. Everything since then has not been as anticipated. She's not doing so well. Extreme disorientation, confusion, and anger. Ok that last one was expected. The home health nurse came today to do an evaluation and is recommending an anti-depressant (for Mom, I think, but hey a girl can dream), a wheelchair, physical therapy and occupational therapy. I told her the major red flags and behaviorial changes I'm seeing in the last 36 hours.

After speaking for a bit, we came to the same conclusion that Mom really cannot be home alone for more than a half hour... if that. We're missing 2 hours of coverage three days a week, so she's going to try to overlap her visits with the two therapists visits so that those three days are covered without the need of hiring a sitter to be with Mom. Considering the difficulties Mom had simply getting dressed after her shower today, we might qualify for an aide for which insurance will pay. That would be nice.

Poohbare wants to get Mom out to a couple of stores so she doesn't feel too trapped. It's a great idea, but ... she won't use the walker, and even if she does is too weak to go far. It's probably not a great idea to put her in one of those motorized carts as the controls would confuse her. Fingers crossed the wheelchair comes thru.

Thank you for the words of support and encouragement. They are appreciated more than I can say.

For any of you that may also be a caregiver and feel like you are in over your head, I cannot recommend more highly the online email-based form for caregivers to be found at FamilyCaregiverAlliance.org. It's a wonderful group of folks that have been there/done that. It's a place to vent and ask questions and get good solid advice and support.

May each and every one of you have a Merry Christmas and may nothing but good things find you in the new year.

xoxo
HP

Yeah... so... things are moving along their course pretty much as expected. Mom's furious with me. It finally sunk in that she's not driving any longer or managing her finances. No checks, no cash, just a debit card (but not the PIN) and a chaparone when shopping. Oh yeah, she's angry.

She'll be getting released from the hospital on the 22nd so she'll be home for Christmas. I've had to reorganize things in her bedroom and attached bathroom so that she'll have room to maneuver the walker/walking frame (<<< look! I'm all multi-national vocabularyish and stuff!). She's gonna be furious about that, too. (The reorganizing part.) She likes to have everything EVERYTHING! out and surrounding her. Tough. In the process of moving stuff around I've come across more than 40 rolls of tape, over 200 unused plastic grocery bags, boxes full of empty boxes, tissues galore.... the list goes on and on. *sigh*

I've also gotten her driver's license revoked, changed title on her car, cancelled the insurance, am still dealing with some of her financial mess (but almost got that cleared up), have home healthcare lined up and am getting the last odds and ends of the to-do list finished up such as changing the doorknob on the basement door to a locking one and removing the area rug from the living room. Trying to anticipate every contingency keeps me busy.

Oh, and did I mention that since Mom's been gone her golden retriever (who is freakishly large) has been moody and aggressive and lunged at my daughter and almost clamped down hard on her wrist? Yeah. Toss in a trip to the emergency room just for shits and giggles. The spawn is ok - just bruising, scrapes and swelling. Nothing broken or any deep punctures. I have the reflexes of a three-toed sloth. Hers are obviously quicker. Whew!

I'm exhausted. The mental gymnastics both at work and home have wiped me out completely.

Still, better than the alternative. I'm not ready to have her leave me yet.*



*Subject to change without notice.

It's been a looooooooooooooong week. Mom is still in the hospital, but in the rehab unit now. She's weaker than she realizes. She developed a UTI which caused even greater cognitive loss -- dunno why, but that happens frequently with alzheimer's/dementia patients.

It's unlikely she'll regain much of the ground she's lost the last couple of weeks. Her stubbornness has survived intact. God help me. She will NOT push the call button for the nurse. (Mom: (Even if I push the button they take forever to get here." Me: "Do they get here faster if you DON'T push it?" As my caregiver friends say, "Her reasoner is broke."

I had to invoke the power of attorney she'd had drawn up early last year. The banking is now in my name and I opened a very small account for her to use once the debit card arrives. After going thru her checkbook with a fine toothed comb, we discovered she's written over $16,000 in checks for cash the last year with nothing to show for it. I've searched everywhere for where it might be, but -- nope -- nothing. I actually checked to see if she'd hidden money in the seats of her car. We suspect she's been sending cash donations to everyone that mails her a request, so I've gotten a post office box for the mail or heaven alone knows what further trouble she'll get into.

The worst part of it all is second-guessing all my decisions. While I know it's all being done with her best interests in mind, it feels wretched. The car is next on the hit list. I need to transfer the title and cancel her insurance. I'm waiting on a letter from her doc and then I'll get her driver's license revoked. It's imperative that I protect not only her, but everyone else by keeping her from driving... This is so damn hard!

The earliest she'll be out of the hospital is the 22nd. I pray she's home for Christmas, but can't allow my hopes to get up quite yet. The neuro exam results may not have presented a true picture a week ago, but it appears she's now slipped to the point where they are an accurate representation of her status.

We'll be having home health care aides coming in to be with her as needed. She's one hell of a stubborn old woman and tries to not be a burden. Unfortunately, "not being a burden" requires us to anticipate everything and/or be psychic.

I dread telling her about how things have changed. I'm going to be the bad guy and incur her fury. I've seen her fury. It's not pretty.

I'm blessed to have Poohbare by my side. He's my rock. We're going to work together to compose a letter to her explaining the facts and the reason for various changes as gently as possible. By writing it down, she can read and re-read it and perhaps some of the info will stick in her head.

In other news, Herbie is not as helpful wrapping packages as he seems to think. All the ribbons have puncture holes ... much of the paper does too. Crazy kitten.

First of all, a great big thank you for the well wishes and kind words of support.

Now back to our regularly scheduled blog:

Yeah...so... Mom had a neurological evaluation yesterday. She tanked. "She has substantial deterioration." Uh... and her hearing aid batteries were dead, the doctor has a super-heavy accent AND laryngitis, she's been in the hospital for several days and is weak and disoriented. I'd like her retested. "That's not necessary due to the results from the last test." WTF!?!?!?!?

I know some of you are in the health care field. Me, I just worked for medical malpractice attorneys. I've broadcasted a message requesting guideance from the caregiver support group I'm in, but I'd really like to hear from some folks in the industry. I figure the more recon I do, the better I'll be as an advocate for Mom's care.

She was much perkier today after getting new hearing aid batteries installed and she got to sit in a chair for several hours. Still real weak and will be in the rehab unit for a number of days. We don't know how long though and I've still got questions to be answered about home health requirements.

Thanks in advance.
xoxo

Yeah... so... Mom's been in the hospital since Tuesday. A good Samaritan saw her starting to fall over in a parking lot and called the cops/EMTs. What an attention whore she can be!

Anyway her blood sugar is supposed between 70-120 and she was over 1000 so she was in Intensive Care for a few days. Doing great and in a regular room now, but it's been a bit stressful. Yeah. Just a teensy bit.

We're hoping Mom gets to come home tomorrow. We'll meet with the doc and find out the scoop. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, if "Millie the hospital social worker" doesn't get her head out of her ass and stop asking me the same questions repeatedly, I'm prolly gonna get a tiny bit cranky. Just a tiny bit.