I stumbled across a CD with a ton of pics I'd posted a few years back when I was slender and hitting the gym all the time.

Damn, that was depressing.

Two days til the Spawn takes her driving test. I'm pretty sure she'll pass. She really is a surprisingly good driver now ... compared to six months ago. We'll still need to work on a few things here and there as the seasons change. I'm not sure she realizes how treacherous wet leaves can be and she'll need practice with ice and snow, but I'm not concerned. She's picked it up quickly so far.

But then there's parallel parking. If she hits the curb during the test, it's an automatic fail. We spent an hour and a half this evening parking behind cars that were in front of people's homes. She's doing great about 1/3 of the time. Not good enough. We'll be back out again tomorrow evening.

I've tried giving her some tips and tricks, but if you've ever dealt with an overtired, highly-stressed 16-year-old girl, well... yeah, you know how delightfully that went. lol

At least she hasn't hit anyone's bumper or knocked over a mailbox.

Hugs,
HP

It's been a rough couple of weeks. Mom was in the hospital for about a week and got out last Wednesday. Mentally she slipped a bit so I fought to have her come home instead of going to a rehab hospital for a couple weeks. She's been ... um ... difficult since she got home. Her entire insulin regimen has been shifted around and she's now on four shots per day of completely different stuff than what she had before. It seems to be working pretty well thus far.

Meanwhile, Poohbare had been having problems with pain running down the insides of his arms. He's got 8 stents so that was fairly terrifying. He saw the doc yesterday and the doc thinks it's just stress related, what with the shop and Mom stuff.

I've only been at the shop about 5 hours in the last week and a half. I've gotten really good at running around like a headless chicken. I catch an hour or two of sleep when I can, but feel the burnout creeping in and know the crash is soon to come.

The Spawn is scheduled to take her driving test on Friday. I expect she'll pass and get her license. I've got very mixed feelings about this. lol

Watching the countdown until two of my favorite people are back in each other's arms has lifted my spirits when the gloom sets in.

That pretty much sums up the last couple of weeks. Gotta go (figuratively) tackle the yard now. The weeds are trying to take over the flower beds. Those bastards!

Hugs,
HP

[IMG]http://i1174.photobucket.com/albums/r620/stupidstuff0102/bullshit.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i1174.photobucket.com/albums/r620/stupidstuff0102/bullshit2.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i1174.photobucket.com/albums/r620/stupidstuff0102/bullshit3.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://i1174.photobucket.com/albums/r620/stupidstuff0102/bullshit4.jpg[/IMG]
and finally
[IMG]http://i1174.photobucket.com/albums/r620/stupidstuff0102/bullshit5.jpg[/IMG]

I took a little trip down memory lane this morning. I wandered back to the time with my second husband.

I won’t go into the sordid details because it’s personal, nunya bizness, not for public display and I've got enough class to keep it to myself. I have neither the need to flog him on the internet nor to garner sympathy. When I left, I took only what fit in the car. The rest was just stuff and didn’t/doesn’t matter. Removing him from my life was the important thing -- important enough for me to appear in court and deal with it.

Shit happens. We can either whine about what sucked or move on. I chose to move on.

In other news, Mom has been in the hospital for the last week. If ya could float a prayer or two her way, it would be appreciated.

HP

Fresh out of damns to give.

There are ALWAYS two sides to every story. It's also human nature to paint oneself in the light most favorable.

I suspected this was true, and now believe it completely:

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
~Elie Wiesel
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In other news, the neighbor and his girlfriend and some other guy were out in the driveway having a heated argument last night, apparently about a cell phone. Poohbare turned off the lights in our room then lurked at the open window, peeking over the sill and trying to hear what was going on. (He's such a lil kid sometimes.) It was quite a show. We expected the police to show up but they didn't; however, I had the phone in hand in case things escalated. Officers tend to pay fairly frequent visits to the neighbor's house. Good thing he (allegedly) stopped growing pot in his basement last summer.

I was bopping around the internet today looking up a few folks I used to know. One of them was the fella I fell madly crazy in love with when I was 15. He broke my heart and pretty much treated me like crap on and off for five years. He set the pattern of my relationships for years to come. He made me feel "less" than what I am. Yet, as in many destructive relationships, I never really shook my feelings for him.

He re-entered my life over 20 years later. The feelings (misguided as they were) were still present. We started talking. He encouraged me to join this site. We were over 500 miles apart, but managed to find ways to see each other in person.

There were many many red flags. I tried to ignore them, but could not. I realized that the traits that drew me to him decades ago were no longer appealing. He still treated me badly and made me feel "less."

A few months after joining NN, Poohbare found me. The differences between the two men were night and day. Poohbare never made me feel I was "less." He made me feel that not only was I "enough," I was "more." That I was "everything." I broke things off the other fellow and never looked back.

I knew the other had been dealing with liver failure in the last year or so and checked on him from time to time to see if he'd gotten a transplant. We do have a history, after all, and I don't wish him ill. Today I stumbled across is obituary.

And I felt nothing. Not sadness. Not upset. Certainly not joy or relief. Simply... nothing. This is unlike me and I'm not sure how I feel about feeling nothing.

Befuddled,
HP