There's nothing quite like that feeling you get when you crave

a bologna sandwich (with mustard)

a moon pie

and a glass bottle of Coca Cola,

then realize you don't have them on hand...

because you gave them up for your health long ago.

~

The second Saturday in May is when the USPS takes donations for the needy.

They leave an empty bag in your mailbox in case you want to give non perishable foods.

I filled the bag on Friday evening and hung it on my mailbox.

Saturday morning I looked out my window and saw that it was gone.

I at least hope the person who took it needed the food.

The teacher asked her young students:

"What does the chicken give us?"

"Meat!" said one student.

"Very good!" the teacher replied.

The teacher next asked: "What does the pig give us?"

"Bacon!" said another child.

"And what does the big fat cow give us?" the teacher asked.

"Homework!" said a bored student in the back of the room.

~

I suggest a course of action for those having to deal with someone who is ranting,

usually about politics or religion:

Walk away.

You wouldn't want to be blamed as the cause of their heart attack or stroke - would you?

~

I was trying to get my morning walk in today a little early,

because the weather forecast was for rain at my usual time.

A little bit cooler than what I'm used to, but still sunny.

Up ahead I saw an area growing dark, so I looked up at the sky

and saw a huge dark cloud passing in front of the sun.

Then I looked ahead of me and saw a small dust devil rising up from the park.

It grew to about 10 to 12 feet high, full of leaves, dirt and new mowed grass.

Amazed, I kept walking towards it - but at a much slower pace.

After about 10 to 15 seconds it just kind of fell apart,

just as the sun broke through.

Was it a sign? or just a freak of nature?

I chose the latter and continued on my walk.

I'm no Moses,

just an old geezer in awe of what nature can do on a whim.

~

I've always loved baseball.

I played from the time I was 6 until I was 19.

I gave up playing because I had trouble hitting a curveball.

Many years later,

I'm still swinging,

because no matter who you are,

life keeps throwing you curveballs -

usually when things are going good

and you feel like you're on top of the world.

So make sure you're on your guard -

you never know when one will be heading your way.

~

In high school, my last semester there, I took a class to 'kill time'.

In other words,

I already had enough credits to graduate, but decided to take some fun classes,

like a cooking class for guys.

One of the other classes I took was just to relax in the morning -

really to finish waking up.

It was a journalism class, which I had already taken a couple of years before.

By this time, I didn't want to do any more stories for our school paper.

I was supposed to be the cartoonist for the paper

and thought that being in class with fellow students who WERE writing stories would inspire my artwork.

We had a new teacher for the class. She was straight out of college.

She asked everyone what areas of the school they wanted to write about.

When she came to me, I told her I was just there to do a weekly cartoon for the paper.

She didn't say anything, but it must have bothered her.

She could have told me that if I wasn't going to write any stories that I shouldn't be there.

No.

She just started assigning me stories to write and wouldn't publish any of the cartoons I made for the paper.

So I didn't do any of the assignments.

She seemed a bit stubborn...

but I was, too.

Any way,

there were about four weeks left in the semester when she pulled me aside for a little 'chat'.

She told me she was going to flunk me for the class.

I told her I didn't care, that I had enough credits to graduate.

One 'F' wouldn't kill me.

She was frustrated.

And then I found out why we were having a little 'chat'.

There was a big fundraiser/dinner for the school coming up and she was supposed to submit a school design for the dinner napkins.

Only she had just found out that there wasn't any school logos (mascot) on file to use.

Uh-oh! She needed someone to supply one.

She told me that if I designed/supplied one she would give me a 'C' for the class.

I sat down at my desk and sketched one out in about five minutes.

She saw it, liked it and started to reach for it.

I said "New deal."

I get an A for the class and don't come back for the rest of the term.

Ya should have seen the anger in her eyes.

But, she agreed after a minute.

I made one mistake that day.

I should have copyrighted that logo,

because the school has used it on everything ever since.

It's on all official things for the school,

even on sports uniforms and the center circle for the basketball court.

Yeah, I got what I wanted that day...

but I've been paying for it ever since.

~

My mother passed away 23 years ago on May 7th, 2001.

At age 70 she told me something that remains an inspiration to this day:

"No matter how old I get,

I will always feel 19 inside."

Words to definitely live by.

~

A country girl will pee in the woods,

in a field,

or by a barn -

but she will not pee in a dirty bathroom.

~

Living with a dog consists of 90% following each other around,

watching each other use the bathroom

and wondering what the other one has in their mouth.

~