I hate feeling like this!
I was really enjoying being out working. It was something I was doing, something I was good at and something I was given recognition for.
It has only been a week and a half since that ended and I have been desperatly trying to hang on to that sense of self but it seems to have slipped and I am right back where I started.
I do have some support but things just aren't good for finding a job right now. I have applied for some volunteer work but have heard nothing back from that yet.
I have plans for taking another course in the spring but I want it to happen now. I have thought about going back to school full time but it is depressing looking at the available jobs and the only real call seems to be for PSWs, RPNs and RNs. I wish I could do that kind of job but I can't. All the caring and patience I ever possessed went into caring for my children and in particular my disabled child. That field is a no go for me.
I know I am not the only one in this situation but it is driving me nuts that I stayed home all of these years and now when I have my kids in a good place and am ready to go back there are so many stumbling blocks. I would literally take anything but it seems I am over qualified to take just anything and what I am qualified for, well, my skills are out of date. Out of date isn't a real problem in the long term. I would jump at the chance to upgrade and to keep learning. I just need someone to give me the interview. Talking face to face I could convey all of that, only so much comes through on a resume.
I know I am not the only one looking for work but damnit this wasn't part of the plan! I poured my heart and soul into getting the best care possible for my son and am now ready to do the same thing for an employer.
It really sucks that parenting isn't considered experience worth mentioning on a resume.
I just wanted to keep the momentumn going but that just ain't happening.
Oh so frustrated,
ju

[url]http://dvice.com/archives/2009/02/3ms_nuclear_gra.php[/url]

Running right out to get some,
ju

This just isn't fair!!!

Today
Day: Rain ending late this afternoon then cloudy with 60 percent chance of flurries. Wind south 30 km/h gusting to 50 becoming northwest 30 gusting to 50 early this afternoon.
High 8 with temperature falling to minus 1 this afternoon.
Night: Cloudy. 60 percent chance of flurries early this evening. Clearing overnight. Wind northwest 40 km/h gusting to 60 becoming light near midnight.
Low minus 19. Wind chill minus 25.

It felt like spring was coming for a minute,
ju

I have had a small thing niggling at me for years. It ceased to be important when I graduated from college all those years ago but it was still something that has annoyed me, for lack of a better word.
Well I finally did something about it.
You heard about my job, the co op placement, that finished yesterday. What you didn't know is that it was to finally get the half a credit I needed to graduate from high school.
It was awarded to me this morning.
I can finally put that nagging voice to bed!
Yay!!
ju

Is green, but no one should never wear it as a feeling.
meh,
ju

I had a 10 am Drs appointment and not having my act totally together decided to take a cab there. Appt went fine, he told me I have borderline high blood pressure then prosceeded to lecture me like a good Dr should. With the preface this is my job I have to say this and a smirk on his face the whole time cause he knew I wasn't going to listen. Amongst other things he said well you know when you hit 50 and I know you aren't there yet but you will be soon...
I left with 2 prescriptions and a feeling of dread
So the plan was to get the bus downtown and from there head north. Plans are made to be broken in my world.
Along comes a bus exactly one smoke from when I left the buidling, no it wasn't going downtown but it was headed to Walmart. Great I can transfer from there and be at work in less than half an hr.
I got off the bus at Walmart and stationed myself in position to get the correct bus and this is when my mind decided to wander. Good thoughts, just not paying much attn to what was going on around me. So when the next bus came I thought hey! bonus I can get this one and be at work a few mins earlier than I had planned.
Not so, not by a long shot.
The bus I got on was headed in the wrong direction so basically I passed my house and then had to transfer again to get to work half an hr later than I would have if I had been paying attn.
No big deal really, I just took the scenic route.
I can't wait to be done work now. All of the "juicy" creative jobs have long since been completed and now I am doing the drudge work that happens in any office. I hate that drudge work with a passion but if I was being paid for it, it would be tolerable. For now tomorrow is something to endure, an hr or so at school Thurs. morning and that is the end of that.
I am going to miss having a purpose and have a volunteer position I am really interested in that I will persue to keep me busy while I am job hunting.
The job market here is worse than horrible but I need to keep the momentum going so with any luck I will be volunteering at the seniors centre in their computer lab.
It only takes one bus to get there so I should be safe,
Ditzy,
ju

Not only have my plans changed apparently so has my birthday, the celebration part anyway.
July is gonna be the month!
Planes, trains and automobiles, Ok scratch the train and make it a bus.
I am sooooooooooooooooooo excited!!
I cant remember being this excited. Well perhaps when I was 5 on christmas eve.
Damn this is going to be fun!
Giddy,
ju

It always happens this time of year. Enough of the dead of winter. Now is the time to look forward, begin planning for the seasons ahead.
I have done nothing just for me in longer than I can remember and right now I am thinking it is time.
I want to spend my birthday in Montreal. It is a city I loved when I was there and the travel bug has bitten even tho I have very, very limited resources.
I decided to look at how much it would cost to get the 3 of us there. That was well out of my range but when I mentioned it to my daughter she said
"You go, I don't want to go to Montreal"
She is 16 now and more than capable of taking care of her brother. I feel like I have been given wings! All the years I spent with them and now they are giving me some freedom.
But and this is a big but.
I don't want to go alone. I COULD do it but I would much rather have a friend to share it with. It would be nothing more than an overnight trip, see some sights and eat some of the amazing Montreal smoked meat and then hop on the train home.
My plans will probably change a million times between now and then but the idea of having a goal has given me hope that I will make it thru the rest of this never ending winter.
Plotting and planning,
ju

I am not sure that is better or worse than a mother fucking cunt, but that is the label of the day.
You know, if you chose to behave like the good little children I know you can be, there would be no need to warn you, which I suspect you never did see in your self righteous indignation.
Calling someone a fat fuck really isn't the kind of behaviour we like in this sand box and calling me a fucking Canadian, well I don't really understand how that can be an insult?
Yes, I am Canadian and well I must have fucked at least twice cause I don't know how else to explain my children.
The kind of behaviour I have seen of late is appalling to say the least, especially on a so called adult site.
If you are going to be insulting please come up with something a little more original than mother fucking cunt, fat fuck and fucking Canadian.
I am hoping that your level of intelligence allows you a little more creativity and a better grasp of the English language than I have been witness to recently.
I will NOT tolerate abuse of other members. I do NOT care what your self justification is. Feel free to react like a 4 year old and tell me how much you hate me. That doesn't bother me at all but when you pick on someone who can't defend themselves then you will be dealing with me and I can assure you that you will not like the outcome.
If I sound like your 1st grade teacher there is a damn good reason, YOU are acting like 6 year olds.
Long ago it was established that the sun was the centre of the solar system.
You ain't it.
Sighing heavily,
ju

There were 2 totally crazy aussie bitches, who happened to be best friends.
I love them both from afar.
But they need their heads knocked together for trying to shield each other.
/status grabbing a fist full of hair in each hand and cracking heads together.
Share FFS!
Love you both,
ju