bar·ren (băr′ən)
adj.
1.
a. Not producing or incapable of producing offspring. Used of female animals.
b. Often Offensive Not producing or incapable of producing offspring. Used of women.
2. Not producing or incapable of producing fruit: barren trees.
3. Lacking vegetation, especially useful vegetation: barren tundra.
4. Unproductive of results or gains; unprofitable: "That icy winter silence—how it froze you from your bride, / Tho' I made one barren effort to break it at the last!" (Alfred Lord Tennyson). See Synonyms at futile.
5. Devoid of something specified: writing barren of insight.
6. Lacking in liveliness or interest: a barren routine.

I am. And until today I was okay. Now I'm just sad. What is a woman without bratlings?

No, Seriously....

35 years old. I just.... I dunno. I don't FEEL 35. I apparently don't ACT 35. But then again, what does at person at that age act like, nowadays?

My birthday is in just 5 short days, and my age blows my mind. It means I first came to NN a grand 11 years ago. Unwillingly, to say the least. But I did. And I found a home with all of you.

I still feel...mentally, like I'm in my late teens. Between music, fashion, and activities...I'm NOT in my 30's! Then again, if you look at fashion, I'm still wearing what I did when I was in my late teens-early 20's. What the hell is wrong with jeans or shorts and a tank top? or Doc Martins? Nuffin, I says....

Case in point.... one of my associates started sing Ludacris' "Move Bitch" today. I had to stop him mid song, because he was messing up the rap...lol.....his expression? Priceless.....

I've loved my 30's way more than my 20's thus far. I know who the fuck I am. I know what I want. I don't always know how Ima do it.... But dammit, I get shit done.

Anyway.... I'm 100% okay with turning 35. This might blow some minds, but....I'm looking forward to turning 40. I know how awesome my last few years have been, and honestly? Shit's only getting better. Besides... Apparently, I've been about 10-12 years behind in "age" vs. actual appearance. I'm cool with NOT getting carded (like I do for EVERY cigg or liquor purchase now.

Three months since my last blog, and I can't even begin to tell you how long it's been since I last even bothered to log in. Not that I don't miss ya'll. Or that I don't think of ya at the oddest moments, just been busy.....living.

If ya been following Meanie's blog, we moved just this past month or so. I'm still only an Assistant manager, but it's all good. I run the joint. If I'm not working, I'm hopefully getting to spend the day with ma Meaniebutt. ....Not as often as I'd like, we still have those fucked up mis-matching schedules. But we make it work.

Unpacking and re-decorating our new digs takes up more time off.... How did we get so much shit?? Omg....boxes everywhere!

I'm taking a much needed and well deserved vacation next week. Nine glorious days of.... nothing. We're not going anywhere, but I hate the term "stay-cation". We live in one of the South's most popular destinations, why would I go anywhere? I'm planning on carving TWO pumpkins this year, a day or two on the beach (it's been a chilly 77F here lately), AND!!! Meanie got 4 of my 9 days off, back to back!

We shall have a grand ole time. Maybe I'll get a sessy lil something for my birthday, and we might fire up the ole camera..... or, hell, ya'll might even spotme on cam! We shall see

Till then, be confidant in the knowledge that I'm fine, well taken care of, extremely loved, and disgustingly happy. I can only wish that all of you are as well.

Love you, my naked friend!

I really do. I miss the time I could log in and spend all kinds of time chatting, reading blogs, being a general ass in status...lol...

I will be back. Promise.

Yep. Still on an NN sabbatical. Not really for any reason. Just because I have precious few hours in the day not spent at work, and I've chosen to use them in other ways. Mainly watching Gordon Ramsey shows or spending time with family and/or my Meaniebutt.

I am currently trying to get my own shop again. I don't think it's too far off in the distance. My current dept. manager is making things easy by pissing off the store AND district managers, left-right-and center. I'm okay with this.

I've been putting in 60+ hours a week. And I think I'm doing okay. Life isn't easy, but I don't expect it to be. Anything that comes easily can't possibly be worth it.

Take, for instance, my Meanie. I've been working overnights the past week, and now....I did such a good job, my store manager has decided I'll pretty much be working 3am-2pm all summer. Meaniebutt works mostly nights, so we haven't seen much of each other lately. And....gosh. I miss him. Today I got to see him (awake) for a grand total of about 15 minutes.

I honestly thought I knew what love was. In my late teens, my early 20's. Even into my late 20's.... I thought I knew what love was. When I fell in love with Meanie... I figured I knew what I was in for. Boy was I mistaken. I've never. Ever. been in love before. Not true love. Not real love.

Real love is having a physical ache, pain, when you wake up and reach over to discover that handsome smiling face isn't right next to you. It's swallowing the short, curt answers when you're tired and sore from work. A kiss that makes you forget you're tired or sore. Laughing so hard at their goofy antics. A fresh picked flower when you're not expecting it.

It's a million and one little amazing things. It's dreaming with them. It's being excited to wake up, and work your ass off, because you know eventually it'll all pay off and you can grow old(er) with each other.

I needed to vent, or maybe brag. Both. Neither. I dunno. Just awake, and missing him, and wanted to write.

Hope you're all as happy, and not as exhausted, as I am.

Yep, that fake profile didn't last more than a few hours after I let ya'll loose on them. And I thank ya. I know I'm not around much. Everything has been so crazy lately. We went from a mad dash up north for a wedding, to another mad dash even farther up north to watch Digoree graduate with her Masters degree. At the age of 25. Damn I'm so proud of that little girl!!

Then, just when things look like they might settle down...I get a lateral promotion to the busiest store in the district. My new manager has basically stepped back and tossed me into the lion's den. He was off Friday, called in sick Saturday, and was off today. *Grin* Of course, the bakery came through just fine. I stress myself out more about everything than I need to. But that's just how I operate. I stress so my crew doesn't. Simple.

I love when mine and Meanie's schedules match up. It's rare. But when it happens, like today, it's almost magic. We were able to carpool, AND we could coordinate our lunches... I went back to work so much happier and relaxed. He has that effect on me.

So that's why I've been absent.... pretty much. Plus it's summer,...in Florida....and I have a swimming pool. Who needs internet when ya can swim??

So....I know I've been absent from NN for a good bit. And I'm sorry. There's just so much other stuff going on. And I do miss each and every one of you. I actually logged on today to post a vid in my blog, for Memorial day. Cuz ya'll know I'm all about the troops, and troop love. But I had a few PM's waiting on me. I know I've been absent lately, and it's nice to be missed.

ONE of the PM's was from a dear friend, asking if I'd moved...because he'd found my pics....on another site.

This makes the 2nd time this has happened. The first, I handled it myself. Didn't name or shame. Because I knew who posted them. This time? Well.....fuck... the site is called DoMyWife.com.... the user name is kricklem. I've contacted the site and told them they were, but...fuck it. I encourage every one of you to head over and fuck shit up.

This is STUPID. If the pics aren't down within a day, I'll have to ask NN himself to locate and send me (or that other site) the ones I posted back in the day. I've also offered their admin pics of THEIR choosing (not for posting) to prove that their "verified" poster is a poser.

*growls, balls up fists and tightens up laces of boots*

It has been a whirlwind month.... I hadda work 10 days in a row, got 4 days off to head up to Meanieterritory, for a wedding. Very happy, very awesome time.

Worked 7 days in a row, and had a day off for a funeral. Sad, horrible. But on the plus side we (my family) decided to meet up once a year WITHOUT being - 1.

Now I'm working another 8 days in a row, before taking a week off. Headed up north to watch my amazing lil sis walk the stage and accept her Master's degree. Then helping her move all her stuff back down here....

I. Am. Tired. I want boring days off, without having to get dressed up for wedding, funeral, or graduation. I want some sense of normalcy...

I want to be able to snuggle my Meanie on the couch, watch mindless TV, knit, drink a few beers. I just want boring. No road trips. Nobody getting married, dying..... Is that selfish? Hell, I don't care if it is. I'm tired. 11-12 hour days, with a 2 hour commute. I'm so sleepy.

*Muwah's* I miss ya'll. Will be back.....one day.

I quit smoking. About an hour ago.

I've decided to switch to an e-cig. It's been a whole hour and I only want to cry just a tad....so that's good, right?

I honestly wish I could travel back and meet up with 13 year old Krick, slap the damn cigarette out of her hand, then back hand the fuck out of her. Just so she knows what a dumbass she's about to start being.

Almost 20 years smoking those fucking things.... I can quit. I WILL quit.

And no, I don't think using an e-cig is cheating. Even if it is, fuck it....I'll still be off those bastard sticks..

Here's to me! Having shit to live for, and a desire to stick around.

My aunt died. On the 24th. We used to be close. But time and distance, not to mention her drug use got in between us.

Tonight was the "viewing". Thank fuck Meanie was with me. I don't know..... I might be alone in this thought, but...it does nothing but hurt to "view" her. I thank ma Meanie for letting me keep my resolve to not do so. So many people were like, "She looks beautiful..."..... Guess what? She was prettier when she was breathing and talking......

Tomorrow is the funeral. I'm still pretty much on auto-pilot. Only worked 10 hours today, and have to go in for a bit tomorrow before the burial. I just have to lean on ma Meanie.... here in a day or two I'll break. It won't be pretty.

Snot bubbles and all.