I hate that in the last year I have let myself go so badly!! I have gained back almost all of the weight I worked so hard over the last 5 years to take off and keep off. I am back, however, to eating better and stepping up my exercise. I know that health, nutition and working out are what is going to help me drop the weight again. I can't wait until I fit back into my clothes...I have the hottest little black dress ever!!!! I figure another 6 months to be where I want to be!

I know I have been gone for a while and I thought I would give all of my NN friends and update on how the real world of dating goes for me. It isn't fantastic but I am finding out the things that I want and things that I don't want. I am also getting my fantastic ass "out there" and meeting people and that's the whole point to being away from this site for me. I miss you all but know that I can come back at any time and "feel the love".
Ms. Slutty
_______________________________________________________________

It just goes to show you that things can go from good to bad in a heartbeat! Read on...this chapter in the book that i am eventually going to write on my dating trials is going to be called "The Man Who Pee'd On The Pier"

His name is doesn't matter. He's 45, works in the health care profession, was married for 10 years and now divorced, no children of his own but stepkids whom he doesn't see often. His profile said 5'11 but when we kissed we stood eye to eye and I was wearing 4 inch heels. I would say he was closer to 5'8. He e-mailed me Thursday evening and wanted to know if I wanted to communicate via e-mails and phone. I said "I know it shots the whole internet dating thing to hell but let's meet". He said "How's tomorrow night? Let's meet at 7pm in front of the Hard Rock Cafe". Sounded good to me. He called me last night around 6, said he was running late and could we meet at 8? No problem. I drove instead of taking public transportation and got there a little after 8.

We sat outside talking and listening to a local musician for a while then went to Bubba Gumps for food. Things seemed to be going well...nice conversation, seemed to have similar interests and I was attracted to him. I ordered a big beer when we sat down and he ended up having a heinken. We talked for a long time and then decided to have food. Let me rephrase, I made the decision on what we were going to eat after he hemmed and hawed for way too long. During the course of eating our shrimp (cause what else are you going to have at Bubba Gump's) he had another beer. Shouldn't have been an issue, right?? Wrong but I didn't find that out for a while. When I asked to have my parking validated I asked if he needed his validated also. He said no and then explained that he took the bus due to getting a DUI about 5 years ago and never wants to put himself or others at risk again. Commendable and honest but I didn't think that 2 beers would put him in the state he ended up in later in the night (more on that later).

My biggest foible of the night was that the floor was really slippery and after commenting on it and going to the bathroom two times, the third time I totally took a dive. I landed on both knees and both palms. If I had been 10 and out at recess on the blacktop I would have been pulling gravel out of both palms and knees. Two men from another table came up to see if I was ok while I was still on the ground but Doug didn't move from our table. I went back to the table trying to shake off how much I was hurt and the fact that I just made a complete ass of myself on a first date. He asked if I was ok, I said yes and then a waiter came over to see if I was ok. He had finished paying the bill and so we decided to continue the date out on the pier by the seals looking at the lights of the city.

This is where things went from strange, to weird, to bad real fast. We were looking at the lights of the city and he kissed me. It was ok but nothing super duper to write home about. Of course, I'm thinking "give it time, it will get better as no first kiss is ever really terrific". He then asked if I was up for a second date and I said yes. Up until this point in time things had been great and I wanted to see where things could go with another date. Anyway, how much do you really get to know someone on a first date?

We moved away from the seals and ended up looking at Alcatraz. He talked a bit about the Great Escape and I commented on how you had to swim through the freezing waters and then were still a wanted man if you made it out of the bay alive. This is were it went down hill fast. He then said "I need to confess that I was in prison. I did four months in a minimum security prison in Santa Cruz about fifteen years ago". I asked what happened and he said that he and a friend were drunk and goofing off on the boardwalk after hours and did something stupid. When the cops showed up and asked his name he gave a false name. When the cops eventually got his real name, they ran it and found out he had an outstanding warrant and arrested him. I asked what the warrrant was for and he said "driving on a suspended liscense". I thought bad but not super terrible...I should have said I'm totally done now but I didn't.

We then continued walking and I realized he was pretty drunk. He was bobbing and weaving like a drunken sailor. He asked to hold my hand and I ended up guiding him along. We then stopped to look at the lights again. Coit Tower and the Bay Bridge are beautiful all lit up at night. He kissed me again and his technique was really bad. He kissed like I imagine a pucker fish would kiss...really fast and mwah, mwah, mwah. He then started petting my hair like I was a dog. I was so uninterested and soooo not attracted at this point in time. I did a "look at the time" and "Cinderella is going to turn into a pumpkin soon". It was a little bit before midnight. He asked if I was tired and I said that I had been up since 5:30 and it had been a long day but I was glad to have gone out with him. He then said "keep walking" and I questioned why. He said "I have to pee". That's right, he urinated in public on the pier on a first date!!!!!!! That was when I decided that I was totally out and that I was going to have to let him down easy about "date two".

He finished up and walked me to my car. He then asked if I could drop him somewhere in the city to catch a bus. Thank god for the GPS as I don't know the city well enough to be able to figure that out on my own. As we are driving he then said "would it be alright if I just came home with you" to which I prompty said "NO". He then asked if I was mad and I said "no, you can't blame a guy for trying". I was then stopped at a stoplight about five cars back with a cop on my right and he looks at me and says "kiss me". I again said "no". He couldn't figure out why i didn't want to kiss him as I was trying to drive!!!

I arrived at the area he needed to be in to catch the bus and let him out. He kisses me and trys to discuss plans for date two which should have taken place today. I was very vague and he said that I was "desperate to get rid of him". I said "no, I'm desperate to get home and go to sleep". Of course, it probably amounted to the same thing. He said he would call me someitme tomorrow and probably send me a text before then.

I got up this morning, holding my breath that I didn't have an "i love you, marry me" text from him this morning. Thankfully, my phone was silent. I blocked his number and blocked his e-mail from the dating site. I know it probably makes me a coward especially since I didn't send him a "best of luck on your search" e-mail prior to blocking but what am I going to say??? "You're a nice guy and we could have hit it off but the public urination was really in poor taste!"

That's my story...another one bites the dust!

Right now, it is goodbye to NN for me. This community has been a wonderful source of support for me over the past year. It is with a sad heart that I put my cyber world on the shelf and focus on my real life. I have always been a bit of an introvert (I know, you would never know that from my pictures) and it has been hard for me to connect with men. I don't do a very good job of dating and so retreating into a fantastic community of sexy people was a blessing for me. Unfortunately, I let it take over my life and haven't really been dating much at all recently. I need to get out into that big bad world and find love. I can't let my cyber friends be my only friends. Thank you all so much for everything...I have made some fantastic friends here and have shared some very sexy experiences through this site. Kisses to you all!!!!!!

Check out the e-mail below from a guy on one of the many dating sites I am on. It makes me angry that people feel that they have to insult you through an e-mail. Here is my thing, if someone wants to you to respond to their e-mail and/or date you, why start with an insult? And if you don't want to date someone but they aren't your cup of tea, you still don't need to insult them. People wonder why I am on a variety of dating sites...I can't seem to find quality men out there!!! And so ends the rant.

___________________________________________________________
Hey old lady. Ypu have. more profiles. On different internet dating sides.
Just wonder why. Well I understand ypu are not to pretty. But still. If ypu wanna talk. Hit me. Up. I have some friends. They may b wanna go out with you so what's up lady.

The cunt hisses through the ball gag as I clamp her clit. I finger her butterfly lips and say “for that the clamps are tighten a little”. I remove my fingers, move to her nipples, kiss each one and tighten the clamp a bit. “I mean what I say my disobedient tramp…you make a sound and the nipple clamps get tightened each time”. She nods her head…good girl!

I strike a match and light a scented candle. She jerks a bit with the strike of the match but doesn’t make a sound. “that’s a good girl….you will like what comes next”. With that, I dribble a little of the candle wax on her stomach. “It’s erotic not knowing where the candle will drip, isn’t it”? The wax is edible and so I lick it off her stomach. She flinches at the rasp of my tongue but doesn’t utter a sound. I drip the wax on top of her smooth pussy. She groans with ecstasy…the sound is music to my ears and makes my pussy drip a little more. She likes it but she has been disobedient and must be punished.

“You enjoy the hot wax but can’t keep your slutty sounds to yourself and for that you must be punished”. I turn the nipple clamps once more and she arches her back off the bed. “Settle down and soon the ball gag will be removed for being such a good girl”. I lick the wax from the top of her pussy. Her ass comes off the bed to have her cunt meet my mouth. “What a good fuck toy you are!! For that, your reward is that the ball gag will be removed”.

I remove the ball gag but leave my slut blindfolded. It is now her time to pleasure my cunt!! I position both knees on either side of her head and say “tongue fuck me, bitch!” I lower my pussy onto her mouth and her tongue immediately searches the folds of my pussy. “You will not be punished if you moan, groan or make other noises…I want you to be vocal while you lick my pussy!!” Since her hands are bound, she has to use her tongue and lips to separate the folds of my pussy. I grind my tout down on her face and grip her hair in my hands. There is a pressure at my asshole and I realize that your finger is probing my ass while our good little whore is probing my hole with her tongue. How I love to a good DP!! My clit needs some good stimulation so I move to the point where I can rub my clit on the tip of her nose. God, this is something I never thought I would do and how I am enjoying it!!!

I dig my fingers into my slut’s scalp and she gives a yelp. “I love hearing you make noises my little tramp. Let’s hear what other noises you make when I fuck you hard”. I move off of her face and stand by the bed. I kiss you and say “Now we make her cum”. I move to the toy box and find the strap on. I give the nipple clamp one final twist, take the dildo and guide it into her sloppy wet cunt! I lean over, kiss her and say “Be as loud as you want and come as many times as you want…the louder you are the happier I am. Be a good fuck toy and cum multiple times for your mistress!”

I begin to fuck her with the strap on…in and out, in and out! I vary the tempo…hard and fast and the slow with long strokes. The more I change things up, the more my slut likes it and the more vocal she becomes!!! The wetter her cunt becomes and the more I hear those wonderful slurping sounds of a sopping pussy being satisfied by a big cock!

Oh fuck!!! My cunt is being filled by your cock!!! You don’t move much but I am filled while I am filling her. Fuck this feels fantastic. My slut is going to cum and so am I!! I can’t believe that we are all going to cum at about the same time. I don’t want it to be the dildo inside her when she cums…I want it to be my tongue! “STOP”!

All motions stop at this time. You remove your cock from my pussy, I take off the strap on and get on my knees with my face in her pussy. “Master, fill your pet with your cock so she can cum while she makes her fuck toy cum with her tongue”! You stick your giant cock into my dripping, tight, hot cunt and fuck me hard from behind, pulling my hips back into you as groin at a rapid pace. I stick my tongue into her sloppy wet cunt and frantically finger her clit. “CUM, MY SLUT…CUM FOR YOUR MISTRESS…DO IT NOW”. My little fuck toy cums hard and I lick it all up!!!! “That’s a good girl” I say in a shaky voice since I am on the verge of my own fucking great orgasm. You cum inside me and I cum hard!!! You fondle my breast and say “that’s a good pet. You have done your master proud”!!!

“I plan on blindfolding you, bitch, but not now. I want you to see me and to see how controlling you makes me feel. Right now, I feel alive with power and my pussy is dripping wet! However, I will gag you. I want you to have trouble breathing and feel your lips being held apart as we play. Think of it as practice for holding your jaw open to accept my master’s cock when he force feeds it to you on my command”. With that, I go over to the toy chest and take out a ball gag. They are never my favorite to have in my mouth but I plan on making this tout like it!

With a wicked gleam in my eye, I say “OPEN WIDE!!!” The little bitch keeps her mouth shut and shakes her head. “Did you not hear me or don’t you understand that you are mine to control, now open your mouth you fucking bitch!!” I yank her head back by her hair, look her in the eyes and say “you will take this into you dirty mouth, you whore, or I will make you pay. You won’t for a while but eventually you will submit to me!” There are tears shining in the corners of her eyes but she obediently opens her mouth to accept the ball gag. As I hook the back I say “I know, it’s not my favorite either, but you will learn that it has it’s place. You’re a good girl to submit to me”.

“Now, we need to clean you up because I hate a hairy pussy. I’m gonna tongue fuck you good later so it’s time for a shave. Don’t worry, in this instance, I will be gentle”. I get small basin of water, two washcloths, lemon scented soap and a razor. Before I even begin to shave my hot little slut, I insert a finger into her pussy…fuck she is sloppy wet!! “You like all this play don’t you my fuck toy??” “Yes, ma’ma” she attempts to say around the ball gag. “Good, you are doing to be dripping and wanting by the time I am finished shaving you”. I pull my finger out and lick it clean…she tastes like a little sweet and a little tangy. Yummy!!!

I gently shave her pussy. I run my hand over her bald cunt, look into her eyes and say “time for a taste”. I lean over and stroke my tongue over her freshly shaved lips. All of a sudden I feel two hands parting my inner thighs, forcing my legs apart, as I am bent over her cunt. My master is tasting my cunt as I taste my whores…could this get any hotter?!? I swirl my tongue around her clit as you slap my ass and say “tongue fuck her good, my pet”!! Knowing I have your approval, I move my tongue in and out of her small, tight tout. “Mistress, I must cum” says my slut through her gag. “Not yet, whore”. I move away from her tasty pussy and reach into the toy chest for a blindfold and the nipple clamps.

“We have a long way to go before you may come, my pretty little slut”. I bend over her and attach the nipple clamps to her beautiful large, brown nipples. “For every whimper you utter in this next round of play, the nipple clamps will be tighten just a little.” I then blindfold her, spread her legs wide and clamp her clit.

Hesitantly, she untied the knot of the trenchcoat and removed the belt. I saw the uncertainty in her eyes but there wasn’t fear behind them. As she parted the front of the trenchcoat I said “STOP”. She drops her hands immediately like a good little whore. Beginning at her neck, I trail the riding crop down the center of her body. “Have you done this before, tramp?” “Yes, but the results were not good. I was hurt and am hesitant to try it again”. I soften a bit. “Well, slut, it is a first for me and I wish to be a good mistress. I will hurt you but it will be a good pleasure-pain and we will both enjoy it. However, in the end it is about my pleasure.”

I continue the trail of the riding crop to her cunt and held it between her lips. Sternly I said “you will address me as ma’am, madame or mistress. From this point on, unless asked to explain, you will answer with yes or no. Mostly, I want to hear moans and whimpers from you. You are mine to control. I will call you whore, slut, tramp, cunt.” With that, I slapped her clit with the riding crop. She flinched ever so slightly but did not move “good girl, we are going to have fun tonight”. I replaced the riding crop with my hand, slipping a finger into her cunt…it’s wet and warm!!! “Does my slut like her new mistress?” “Yes, ma’’am”.

I moved my finger inside her and her fuck muscles spasmed. I removed my finger, held it to her mouth and said “suck it”. Her mouth came down over my finger and gently sucked her juices off my finger. God, I almost came at that point in time. This was my first girl on girl experience and it’s incredibly erotic. I turn around and look at you…fuck, you cock is huge!!! You seem to be finding as much pleasure in this experience as I am. This was going to be a very exciting, fun, hot night.

“Remove the robe!” My fuck slut complied and I sucked in my breath…her body is magnificent. She has beautiful round breast with brown nipple that are so hard they could cut glass. I find her skin creamy and smooth as I cup a breast in my hand, fingering her nipple. I tweak it, then lave it with my tongue. A little bite couldn’t hurt, in fact I wanted to give her a little pain at this point in time, so I lightly bite her nipple. She moans! “Was that to your liking, cunt?” Breathlessly she replies “yes, ma’am”. I fondle her tit for a moment more and move to the back of her.

Lord, she has an exquisite ass. Round, smooth globes…I could just imagine them slightly red from being smacked a few times!! I take the riding crop and flick her left ass check. She flintches a little but doesn’t say a word. “Good girl, by the time we are through you will feel my hand on your ass, my dildo fucking your ass and you will love it”. “STAY”

I left her standing in the middle of the room and walk over to you. I sit on your lap and move my hand up and down on your cock. You are leaking precum all over my fingers. I take my fingers, suck your precum into my mouth and place the same fingers into my cunt. They come away wet and sticky. I place them in my mouth, suck on the, and then kiss you. “I love being your pet, master, however, tonight I get to be mistress and I am going to enjoy every minute of it. I thank you for your gift…I am pleased with my fuck toy!”

I get up from your lap, walk over and kiss my slut. She kisses me back and I feel my juices begin to run out of my cunt and down my leg. This is so fucking hot!!!!! I begin walking to the bedroom and say “COME”. She follows me into the bedroom. “Lay down on the bed and wrap your hands around the bedpost”. She complies and I handcuff her to the bed. “You are now truly mine to control, slut. Playtime is about to begin!!!!!”

It was a long, tiring day of listening to children whine about their problems, dealing with demanding parents, and finishing up the day with a two hour special ed meeting with an advocate present. I hate fucking advocates, they never know enough about how schools run but want to push all of us around...it's an issue of a little knowledge doing a lot of damage. All I wanted to do was go home, strip, take a hot shower and fall into bed. I got into my car and plugged the cell phone into the charger. It buzzed showing that I had 2 missed calls and 1 text. Fuck, I really didn’t want to deal with anyone right now but I listened to the messages and decided they could wait. I screened the text and finally felt something more than drained...i felt alive, i felt hot and tingly, I reached down to stroke myself and my finger came away wet. I licked it clean, licked my lips and sent a reply message that said "your pet will be right there master. may we shower together when i get there?" the response came back "yes, but you must come to me as you know i like and then I will allow us to get clean as we get dirty together".
With that, I reached down under my skirt and removed my panties. I placed them in my purse knowing that my master wants me accessible to him from the moment i walk in the door. I took off my bra and reached into my glove box and put on my collar. There was a bit of a naughty factor by doing this in the parking lot of school but I have a very different life outside of these walls that tend to sufficate me at times. I was ready to let loose and play tonight. Master likes it when I come to him straight from work wearing my "hot librarian" attire and fuck me shoes. My nipples ached knowing what the night will bring. To heighten that pleasure, i clamped my nipples...baby gets to play tonight!!!
The drive seemed to take forever since all I wanted was you to be fucking me hard. I park at your house and know exactly what you want to see when you open the door. I unbuttoned my shirt all the way and let the edges hang at the tips of my breasts. I took off my nipple clamps so you can see how aroused I am just from wearing them and thinking about you on the drive. On the drive, I had inserted the benwah balls to get me ready for your hard cock. I have them in my hand along with my panties. I have a key to your place but you have instructed me to knock when I arrive. I am not allowed to let myself in or use the doorbell when we play.
You open the door and say “you are a very obedient little pet standing there with your panties and toys in your hand. Is your cunt ready for me to use and abuse her?” “Yes, master, she is”. You grab the back of my head, pulling on my hair with one hand and fondle my exposed tit with the other while you fill my mouth with your tongue. God, I love kissing you…it’s wild and wicked and wet!! “Master, may we please shower? I need to wash the events of the day off and have an entirely new outlook on tonight!” “yes, but that is the one and only time tonight you are allowed to talk about work” You take my hand and lead me to the bedroom. “Stand still and I will undress first and then undress you”. “yes master”.
Oh, the wonders of the porn shower…dual heads so that neither person has to freeze their ass off while having shower sex. Unfortunately, play time in the shower was not on your agenda. You were all business as we truly showered together…you washed my body and my hair and then told me to stand still while you washed yourself and your hair. I wasn’t allowed to touch your or myself and that was very frustrating. I didn’t know what you had planned but the evening wasn’t going the way I had things planned in my head. I wanted you to throw me against the wall of the shower and bang my pussy hard. I wasn’t getting any of that but I know you are a very good master and must have something planned for us.
Once we are done in the shower, you dry us off, lead me to the bedroom and you dress in jeans and a tshirt. You then open the drawer with my lingerie in it. As always, I am not allowed to offer an initial opinion on what I would like to wear for the evening but I do get one veto option. I always use the veto carefully because you tend to punish me if I veto an outfit. Sometimes, I veto an outfit cause I want to be punished but tonight I want to be very compliant. No one was compliant for me in the slightest bit today and putting up a fight about my slutty atire seems petty. You read my desires so well…you pull out a red bra and panties set!! What a power color!!! I need that kind of confidence tonight since I was feeling like nothing was going my way at all today. Fuck…why can’t I stop thinking about my shitty day??? Here I am with an amazing man have rocking sex, playing fun games, being dominated (which totally turns me on and I love)and I can’t stop thinking about work and how I suck at my job right now!
You dress me in the crotchless panties, split cup bra, 7 inch red platform stripper shoes and lastly you hook your favorite collar on me. You back me up against the wall, putting your hands on both sides of my head and say “you will stop thinking about your previous activities today. All that matters is what happens right here and right now. You are amazing at your job and that is the last work related comment and compliment you will get from me tonight. Tonight is about pleasure…your’s, mine, taking what we need from each other and giving back all that and more. You are my fucking cum slut, you know how to please me and tonight we will both take pleasure in your dominate nature.” You kiss me while fingering my pussy. I have no idea what you are talking about but I really didn’t care as my body was betraying me by becoming so wet so fast. Who am I kidding?? I was wet from the moment I received the text saying to “stop by after work”.
The doorbell rings and I know you will ignore it. It happens every so often that some stupid salesperson or a newspaper boy will ring the doorbell while we are in the middle of playtime. You have always ignored it in the past so I was surprised when you took my hand and lead me into the living room. “I have a surprise for you” and with that you open the front door. This beautiful petite brunette with long hair is standing in the doorway wearing an short belted black trenchcoat and stacked lucite stripper shoes. Without shoes, she was probably a few inches taller than me but with our shoes on we stood eye to eye. “Your gift to use, abuse, dominate for us. If you use her to my satisfaction and to your pleasure you will be greatly rewarded, my little pet”.
She walks in and stands in the middle of the room. You close the door and both of you are looking at me and waiting to see what I will do next. I’m not sure what to do now… we tried me being a dom before and it didn’t go so well. I know my master is always pleased when I push my boundaries but I felt like I failed at something. You sit down in an easy chair and stare me down, daring me to act! What do I do?? I want to play…she turns me on, and it appears that you are very turned on by the thought of me dominating this slut and pleasuring myself through her use and abuse. Wait…did I just think of her as a slut?!?!? Wow, I did…maybe I can do this. I walk over to you, kneel between your legs, look up at you and ask “do you have any instructions for your pet?” “Only that you enjoy yourself and be as naughty and as nasty as you want. There aren’t any rules and there isn’t any way to do this incorrectly. It’s not a pass fail test...go be a kick ass dom and make me want to fuck you hard!!” “Thank you for allowing me the freedom to feel this out”.
I go over to our toy chest, gather my courage, and take out the handcuffs and the ridiing crop. I walk over to her and say “I don’t give a shit about who you are, where your from, or even what your name is. Normally, master’s collar their pets. You aren’t my pet because I don’t own trash! You don’t deserve a collar. You are a fucking cunt slut and you will know who is the top bitch around here after tonight. Let me tell you baby, it’s not you! You don’t get to speak tonight unless directly spoken to. I tell you when you get to cum. I decide what we do tonight. STRIP!“

I'm thinking about getting a jewel for my pussy piercing...any thoughts on what color I should get???

I'm also thinking about getting a tattoo on the top of my right butt check low enough so my bathing suit can cover it. I want it to be just for me and anyone who happens to see me naked. I have a very specific design in mind...i want two golden poppies (one fully open and one just barely open) and a butterfly hovering over them. What do you think about girls and tattoo's?? Hot or Not??

Now I know that many of you married or committed folks out there will say that the singles get to live the high life especially on Valentine's Day. Go to a bar and go home with whoever you like because everyone is looking pretty damn good when you are alone on Valentine's Day. Contrary to my screen name, I am not a slut and don't take home every Tom, Dick or Harry! Or even Tom's hairy dick...i know, bad pun!!!

I was feeling ok today until I talked to my youngest sister around noon today. I had a great cum session with hittinggaps1976 this morning and was planning on spending the majority of the day in bed watching TV until I needed to get ready for church this evening. My sister had left a voicemail message on my phone last night telling me she was sorry it had taken a few days to get back to me but she had a crappy week. I called her back and left a voicemail saying I was sorry for her week, it was ok that she didn't call me back right away and that dating sucks at times. You see, I had just finished up a 2 hour coffee date in which it wasn't the worst date of my life (believe me when I say I have had some dowsies) but he certainly is not the guy for me. No end of the date kiss and I hope he doesn't call again...just no chemistry!

I sent a Happy Valentine's Day text message to a bunch of people and both of my sisters were included in that message. My youngest sister called me and asked me to fill her in on my date. She didn't say much of anything but I got the distinct feeling that she thought I should give it "more of a chance" and not decide after one date not to see him again. I realize that I shouldn't put this much stock into any of it but now I feel like a smuck that I don't like this "nice guy" more. There were some odd red flags and I just wasn't feeling it.

She also called when she didn't have time to talk so I said "have a good lunch and if you want to talk about your crap week I am around". She said "I am really sick of talking about it and it only seems to make it worse". Now she was the one who told me about it on my voicemail last night and now she doesn't want to talk about it?!? Ok...so I said "totally fine, I understand how that goes since I had such a crap week myself". Does she ask??? Did she care or was she just thinking that I didn't want to talk about my crap week in the same way she doesn't want to talk about her's?

I'm just pissed, upset, cranky, PMSing, tired, and now have to deal with Valentine's Day on top of all of it!!! I would love to call my mom and get a little support but she might not be supportive and will probably get in the middle and end up telling my sister that i'm feeling a little neglected. It would have been nice if me sister said "what happened" or "do you want to talk about it"!!!

Thanks for reading my rantings...unfortunately, it didn't make me feel much better. I guess a good cry might be in order prior to going to church. Church always seems to make things better anyway!