Greek Smoking Ban

There is no way the Greeks will be able to control their
Economy and meet the terms of the bailout by the EEC and the IMF.

They can't even enforce their No Smoking regulations !


Their law has banned smoking in eateries since 7/1/09.

Look how many cigarettes are in the ashtray on the right in this restaurant...



Look in the ashtray, the ashtray, the ashtray!

Jeez...you're worse than the Greeks !

Two Glaswegians, Erchie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.....

'Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant,' says Jimmy. 'A've got everythin'organised awready, the fluers, the church, the caurs, the reception, the rings, the meenister. Even ma stag night'.

Erchie nods approvingly.

'I've even bought a kilt to be married in!' continues Jimmy.

'A kilt?' exclaims Erchie, 'that's braw, you'll look pure smairt in
that'!

'An' whit's the tartan?' Erchie then enquires.

'Och,' says Jimmy, 'A'd imagine she'll be in white!'

Clue.

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and
make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in
where he fits in.

Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

Girls try to put a man 'on lock' by using sex.
Grown women know that it's the sex of the mental kind that makes a man
want to 'lock' you down.

Girls fake-it, lay there and take the stabbing.
Grown women say, "Just stop", get up, get dressed, and walk out.

Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it-- using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls are impressed by shiny things and jewellery.
Grown women are impressed by a man with a bright future.

Girls make their men come.
Grown women make their men come home.

Girls spend their energy trying to find out who he's cheating with.
Grown women spend their energy becoming that woman he wants to cheat
with.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man's time (I.e, don't want him
hanging with his friends).
Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time'
even more special -- and goes to kick it with her own friends!

Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate
w/o fear of losing his 'manhood'.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that that was just one man.

Girls fall in love, chase aimlessly after the object of their
affection,
ignoring all 'signs'.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love
you
back -- and move on, without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and smile

The RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) are so talented.

Toronto Globe & Mail March 30, 2004: In most of the Canadian Provinces, there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when the temperatures drop in the single digits or below.

One morning in March 2004 about 3AM RCMP Constable Bill Wisen was awakened to respond to such a call of a car off the shoulder on the Trans Canada Highway outside of Medicine Hat, Alberta. Constable Wisen located the car still running, stuck in deep snow alongside the highway. Pulling in behind it with his emergency lights on, Constable Wisen walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel and a near empty bottle of vodka in the seat.

He tapped on the window and the driver woke up, seeing the rotating lights in his rear view mirror and the RCMP Constable standing next to his car. The man panicked, and he jerked the gearshift into drive and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20-30- 40 then 50 KPH, but its still stuck in the snow.

Constable Wisen, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding but still stationary car. The driver was totally freaked thinking the officer is actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 20 seconds when Constable Wisen yelled at the man ordering him to "pull over". This man obeyed and turned his wheel and stopped the engine.

Once out of the car the drunken driver asked about the RCMPs' special training and just how can the Constable run 50 KPH. The man, Mr. Robert Duport of Medicine Hat was arrested still believing that an RCMP Constable had outrun his car.

David Cameron visited the science exhibition and was shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future.
He was invited by the curator to ask the machine a question.
Cameron asked "what will Australia be like in 100 years’ time? The machine whirred, beeped,
then produced a printout which read "The country is in good hands, no crime, no conflict, no worries".
Next question, "What will China be like in 100 years?" produced this printout:
"The country will be the leading economy & everyone there will enjoy the highest standard of living in the world."
Cameron then asked "What will Great Britain be like in 100 years’ time?"
The machine whirred and beeped into action. The curator took the printout, but this time he just stared at it.
"Come on," asked Cameron, "What does it say?"
The curator replied "Buggered if I know! It's all in Arabic!"

Never underestimate the old guy
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.

We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.

And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.

"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.
The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to.

There are a few lessons for us all here:
Never be arrogant.
Don't waste ammunition.
Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
Always, always make sure you know who has the power
Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.

A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation.
She was awake, so he examined her.
"You'll be fine," he said.
She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again, doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine.
It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out.

Sometimes I wanna copy someone's blog, word for word, and see if they notice