quarterinch's blog post - clam chowder

It doesn't help that they don't sell clams at the fish market, I am told you can get clams in a can, imported from asia or else use oysters which are from the same family. Frankly, I don't give a shit, just so long as it tastes as good as what they make at the Fishermans Wharf restaurant and it looks white and creamy.
I bought 96 rolls of 400sheet x 2 ply toilet paper for the eco terrorists who live in my house (3 women). Why can't they fold the toilet paper instead of scrunching it up and wasting on average, 55% more paper, that is 55% more trees that have to be felled for these selfish women.
Ten years time there wont be any trees left on planet earth, all because of these women who bug the shitter out of me! If it is good enough for me to put the seat down after I finish in the toilet, why can't my wife, daughters annd my niece just fold the paper around their hand; if it is so tender down there, toughen the pink bits up a bit, perhaps a bit of kerosene wiped over there will make it less sensitive maybe or a bit of wet'n'dry emery paper like they use to rub down cars before they paint them maybe. I am a sensitive person and open to suggestions