willow01's blog post

THE HORMONE HOSTAGE



THE HORMONE HOSTAGE KNOWS THAT THERE ARE DAYS IN
THE MONTH WHEN ALL A MAN HAS TO DO IS OPEN HIS MOUTH
& HE TAKES HIS LIFE INTO HIS OWN HANDS! THIS IS A HANDY
GUIDE THAT SHOULD BE AS COMMON AS A DRIVER'S LICENSE
IN THE WALLET OF EVERY HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND, CO-WORKER, OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!








DANGEROUS: WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
SAFER: CAN I HELP YOU WITH DINNER?
SAFEST: WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FOR DINNER?
ULTRA SAFE: HERE, HAVE SOME WINE.


DANGEROUS: ARE YOU WEARING THAT?
SAFER: WOW, YOU SURE LOOK GOOD IN BROWN!
SAFEST: WOW! LOOK AT YOU!
ULTRA SAFE: HERE, HAVE SOME WINE.


DANGEROUS: WHAT ARE YOU SO WORKED UP ABOUT?
SAFER: COULD WE BE OVERREACTING?
SAFEST: HERE'S MY PAYCHECK.
ULTRA SAFE: HERE, HAVE SOME WINE.


DANGEROUS: SHOULD YOU BE EATING THAT?
SAFER: YOU KNOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF APPLES LEFT.
SAFEST: CAN I GET YOU A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE WITH THAT?
ULTRA SAFE: HERE, HAVE SOME WINE.


DANGEROUS: WHAT DID YOU DO ALL DAY?
SAFER: I HOPE YOU DIDN'T OVER-DO IT TODAY.
SAFEST: I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU IN THAT ROBE!
ULTRA SAFE: HERE, HAVE SOME MORE WINE.






THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:

1. PASS MY SHOTGUN

2. PSYCHOTIC MOOD SWING

3. PERPETUAL MUNCHING SPREE

4. PUFFY MID-SECTION

5. PEOPLE MAKE me SICK

6. PROVIDE ME with SWEETS

7. PARDON MY SOBBING

8. PIMPLES MAY SURFACE

9. PASS MY SWEATS

10. PACK MY STUFF

& MY FAVORITE ONE

11. POTENTIAL MURDER SUSPECT




REMEMBER: MONEY TALKS..... BUT CHOCOLATE ROCKS