I was pretty irritated at the whole me not being worked at all this week, because I know my paycheck is going to end up being shit, but today I woke up and I was absolutely exhausted. I crawled out of bed feeling crappy and my two roommates felt like shit and all you could think was we had partied hard over the weekend or something, though none of us had, we just weren't ready for Monday. We went to breakfast and I went to class, trying desperately to keep my eyes open.

When I got back to my room the knowledge I did NOT have to go to work was some of the sweetest. I climbed back into bed, curled up beneath the covers and I remember my last thought being 'no wonder Kaitlin liked to do this so much...' and I went back to sleep for another two hours.

It was sooo nice and sooo needed. Nicole came back at one point and napped too. She has more classes but she says when they're over she's coming back for another three hour nap, which I can respect. I'll just get back up in my bunk and work from my laptopt here, so the light doesn't bother her. I was going to go looking around at tattoo parlors, but I realize I would rather stay here and I actually work on my story, because I have an insane drive try and get it done again. So everyone wish me luck *wink* maybe I'll bust a few pages, or even a whole chapter, gosh!

It feels like a good relaxing day. I totally needed one of these.

Ariel that psycho bitch messaged me today because she hadn't said hi in forever. It was all polite chat but I hate talking to her. Makes me feel icky icky *flail*

So I'm at work, and it's about 6 o'clock and I think 'yey, only three more hours!' I was stuck on the express lane, which I hate because the customers are generally in a hurry and a smidge rude. But I persevere. Anyway, I'm talking and joking with one of the other cashiers on the second express and Heather, one of the customer service ladies, comes over and asks him if anyone talked to him about staying until close.

Well he and I had already discussed how much he had been working. He had worked over night with the stock crew and had been at it all day as well. The guy needed rest. So I told Heather I would close. Soon as it was out of my mouth I was kicking myself. Damn damn damn. So 10 some odd hours instead of 9, at last it was a bit more money. Right? Right. My paycheck was a little sad, and if the new few aren't better, I'm going to have to get another job. I mean, I'm available for about 37 hours, and next week they're only working me 12. Wow. =/

This will give me a chance to look into applying as a tattoo artist's apprentice though (even if I don't get paid for that, if I do some tattoos maybe they'll split the tip with me?). So this could be a good opening for me? Nicole got a job the first place she went too, maybe thye'll need help over Valentine's, though I'm spending that with Ash xD

I did get a response to her about Jessica and she says she understands and she doesn't mind. She just wanted to know if maybe would should bring her along, because she did have fun at the last sleepover, and I did too. But the driving killed me, and the forever-stories did as well.

So my biological clock is suddenly ticking in over drive and it seems everywhere I look I'm seeing these adorable babies that are all smiley and love and 'hold me Digoree! luve me! I could be yours!' and all I can think is how much I want a baby. I want to find a boyfriend and I wanna fall in love and get married and have a baby.

*Dreamy sigh!*

So I texted Ash and asked her if she didn't mind me coming over again some weekend and she said not at all, she was running out of food to eat anyway so I can cook and do laundry and hang with her and it'll all be cool. So then I was like 'well...can I come in on Valentine's Day weekend?' which she said 'sure!' and I was like 'hells yeah!' I'm spending Valentine's Day with the chick I adore and can never have! Seems counter-productive but whatever! It's her!

Well then I posted a blog on myspace about how things are going in general and she comments on it and mentions maybe I could invite Jessica along. Well... eh. Not quite as exciting. So I straight up emailed her back and told her I would rather not, without saying I really just wanted her to myself, because that does play a part, but it's also because Jessica, sweetheart that she is, can grate my nerves after being with her for hours. She'll tell a story but it will literally take her an hour or so to tell a story that I could bust out in maybe ten minutes, because she tends to pause for laughter or dramatic effect or to make a facial expression and it's just her way and it's not a big deal, but hours of it can get annoying.

What's more, that's a LOT of driving for me. I would have to drive an hour and a half to get to Gainesville, then I would have to drive about three hours to get to Orlando, and we would be arriving when it was dark because of the time Jessica's class gets out. Then when I drove back I would have to drive the three hours to get Jessica to Gainsville again and then the hour and a half to back to St. Augustine and I really just don't want to do a shit-load of driving for my weekend. I just wanna pop over to Ash's and spend it all alone with her. I asked her if that bugged her that I just want to not invite Jess, so we'll see, but seriously.. >.>;

I dunno. It makes me feel like a bit of a bad person. Jessica goes through so much shit, especially where Ariel, that psycho bitch we were all once friends with, is concerned, but I'm naturally a thin patience person anyway. I don't like listening to stop and go speech for long periods of time and then be informed how I'm their best friend, which Jess says I am, which makes me feel even worse because I only want her in small doses.

Ugh, I just feel awful. I really wish Ash hadn't brought it up, because now I'm feeling a bit like shit.

On the positive side, I'm not necessarily dreading work, even if it is 9 fucking hours straight, which I can't really say much about because sissy and mom always pop in those 12+ so whatever >.< I dunno, it could just be because I know once I get through work I have my weekend finally, some time to breath, and I have my paycheck waiting for me there, I hope. I don't know if I can go another week dancing around 20 some odd dollars. Though Dad did call me and tell me he was proud of how I've been handling my financial situation. I decided not to tell him I plan to buy a movie, or that my third or fourth pay check is probably going to a new tattoo. We'll just keep that hush hush for now.

School has me worried. We have Housing Day coming up, which is when we renew our housing contracts to live in the dorms next year. I want to look into an apartment, but I don't know if I'm financially capable. Even worse is the fact that I don't really have the time to find out. So they say what I can do is wait long hours to renew my contract (I kid you not, they say people tend to stake out the night before because it takes so long to get this done), and try to get out of it next year if I get an apartment. I doubt that'll happen though. I tried to get out of the meal plan contract and they absolutely refused, I don't see me getting out of and even BIGGER contract for housing. Or I can just luck it out.

I'm probably going to luck it out. If my roomie and suitemate were planning to be here next semester, I would actually consider staying. But they're moving out too. It's my senior year, I want to live it like a real adult, I think. This has so far been the perfect college dorm-room experience, but I'm ready to try and play the apartment game with the bills and the stress and the freaking out adult-hood. Of course dad's pushing for dorms again, but considering I pay 5,190 dollars for about 4 of living here, that's about 1,297.5 a month. When I COULD be paying 700 or so a month (not included utilities and whatnot, sure, but even STILL). I just think it would be easier to tough it out, and then at least I could have a pet to greet me with smiles and kisses when I come home =( I miss my dog. lol

Not because I WANT to go to work or anything, especially not that stupid shift, but because after it my weekend starts and I intent to never leave my room, if possible. I get my paycheck on Friday, so if Blockbuster is open past 9, which I certainly hope it is, I'm going to stop in, buy some new movies maybe, and then I'm stopping at Arby's and getting their four for four dollar deal and then my happy ass is curling up in my room and not leaving until I have to on Sunday for work.

I have the room to myself again this weekend, which I'm not ENTIRELY looking forward to, because I do actually enjoy spending time with my roomies, more so than I EVER did with Kaitlin. But it'll be time to work on school work, write, be really really lazy and sleep in a lot.

I'm kind of getting home sick though. I really want to go back for a visit and just stay a weekend, but there's no real time, or funds to do so. I'm thinking next weekend if Ash is okay with it though, I might try to stay with her again, just because while I love my roomies I miss having someone I have those just right inside jokes with and I miss having someone to snuggle up close against.

My writing class is going surprisingly well, for now. There's a girl in there I really didn't think I would like, but she and I are getting along okay so far. The other girl, some emo 'I'm so hardcore, my writing is awesome, let me ramble for twenty minutes about my life' girl I really can't stand still though. There's also a guy in the class that is fucking irritating to me. The teacher doesn't want us writing fantasy or sci-fi. Not necessarily happy with that, but I can respect his choices and reasons behind it.

This guy though, seriously, after class walks up and starts going on about how he can't write anything else but fantasy/sci-fi. He has a story he wants to do, has been planning forever to do by the sounds of it, and god forbid if he deters from this story in any way. The teacher explains that this class isn't about writing fantasy, this is getting the basics, getting a good base for your writing, and I and everyone else seems to respect that. This course is writing what you know. In Advanced Creative Writing we'll (hopefully) write what we know and then some.

So this guy is throwing out all these excuses including: "Well it's just that, I can't write about this world because I mean, I've only been to like, two states. I could only write about THIS place, always, every single time."

Teacher: (sounding sincere and patient as can be, bless his heart) "And there's nothing wrong with that. Write about this place then. I would actually like to see that."

Guy: "But well I mean..if like, if I write about this world, then I can only write about here and I don't want to. I mean, I couldn't even write about another continent or anything."

Teacher: "Why not?"

Guy: "Well I would have to do an insane amount of research to make sure I didn't get anything wrong!"

Me: (Finally losing my patience, I don't know how the teacher can deal with it. Snappish) "That's the BEST part about writing though."

So the teacher and guy kind of looked at me and I don't know if the teacher approved or not, but whatever, I was sick of listening to the guy. So the teacher told him to see him in his office, so it's hopefully no longer a problem I have to listen to anymore. That drives me crazy. I KNOW you're not happy about it but suck it up. You can't always have it your way in college.

Stop being a pussy and shut the fuck up.

Anyway, there's him and some REALLY gothic looking, blue haired chick who dresses like an old woman (skirt, hair in a bun, shawl, old victorian gloves, yeah... I don't know what statement she's trying to make). She's another one of those that apparently is more concerned about writing what she WANTS to write, rather than even attempt to follow the assignment. We had to do a short story about some moment in our life where our senses were heightened annnnd she writes about two guys living in Germany some century ago. Okay? She's also another pleading to write in a fantasy setting and it's just, oh ffs you guys. >.<

Anyway. Tomorrow should be a good day, once work is finished.

Do I HAVE to go to work?

What's more, when did the new roomie get the cue from me to start wandering around after showers without a bra and in a tight white shirt? Come on..seriously? I mean, she has some sexy nipples, but you can't be teasing me like this!

My stomach's feeling weird, probably all that drainage from the cold, but I have to go to work in a few hours, which I have no desire to do and sadly must, because I need the money. It's not that I don't like my job. Usually when I get there I have an all right time, most of the customers are pretty cool, but I just don't like the process of having to get up and go. I'll be there until 6:30 tonight, and then from 8-10 I have my Spirit Club, which I'm seriously thinking about not going to.

I don't know. Last semester I was fairly gung-ho about getting up and doing things around the school, now I'm even more content just to curl up and sleep if I can or just chill in the room. And the difference is there is no pressure to get up and go. Nicole is equally content to hang out. She wants to go out and do something generally, but there isn't a lot to do here and she's about as much of a computer/writing geek as I am. Heather complains we're boring, but I think she means it jokingly, sometimes, just because we're not as chatty as Emily used to be.

In any case, I will have to revise my availability. I don't know if I can find time to do school work and go to work at the same time. This upcoming week I'll be pulling a lot of late night shifts and then I have to turn around and try to study and read the books? And it's not like I have a lot of time between to do so. Right now, sure. I've got until 12:20 before I gotta get up and start getting ready, but Friday I'll be in work almost as soon as I'm out of class and well into the night.

I know I need the money, I really want some time for school books and whatnot, and to just breathe. I'm finding this semester it's a lot harder to breathe =/

Wooooh! Okay, so we all kinda sorta were supposed to go to bed like...two hours ago, but ended up all of us sitting on our computers swapping pictures and shit. My lap is really warm right now, I haven't played music on it for a while. Golly-gee.

Anywho, shit, I dunno. I'm tired, but in that wired way. Where like, I don't want to go to bed but I do. I'm getting better health-wise, which is all fine and good and shit. Buuuuut my nose is still pretty congested and Ash and I are sniffing in unison because she's JUST starting to catch it. Meh, right?

We did watch Repo and we baked scones, which was fine except the scones came out looking...weird. They tasted good just, looked like bricks. Eh? Eh.

That Social Psychology quiz that I've been anticipating on week still hasn't shown up, because he keeps postponing. Maybe deep down he's waiting for me to get better, and actually read the chapter. Reading the chapter would be good, makes it more likely for me to get an 'A.' Sometime I gotta start reading the text books for all my class, which I haven't done yet.

Now is for chillin' still.

Oh, on the awesome-me side:

After watching Repo we ended up noticing her cat had some weird stuff on it's back. Anyway, it ended up being shit, somehow...but the cat's shit is turning orange and weird. Ash mentions that it's because she's been giving her adult food and not kitten food, so that might be it. I break into hesitant song paraphrasing from Repo 'What part of it's genetics? What part of it is you? What part of it's the decision to buy the wrong cat food!'

I'm leet, admit it. Anyway, let's move on to the laziness.

So I think I just got sick. I was so happy because last semester I never even hinted at being sick, but suddenly my body's thrown me a curve ball, especially since I'm planning to spend the weekend with friends.

I woke up this morning having trouble breathing, runny and stuffy nose, my head hurting. I'm hoping it's just a 24 hour head cold or whatever, because beside that my body isn't all that achy. I think the trouble is all this weather changing is throwing me off so I'm never dressed properly. Yesterday I stepped outside to go to work and it was fucking beautiful, so I only carried a lightweight jacket, then when it got dark and it was time to go home it was freezing out and the jacket didn't quite cover it. Plus, I went outside to talk on the phone with mom and dad so =/ Meh.

Anyway. I'm just going to eat some lasagna (because I have no soup), and then I'm going to probably curl up until my next class, then I'm going to the store for medicine, and blockbuster to hopefully buy REPO! =D

Yes, it's happened, so I'll be phoning the rents tonight for a hopeful chit-chat, hopefully with mom too since she's actually the one I'm really missing. =/ I dunno. The weekend was good, went by too fast for my tastes. I spent most of it watching and re-watching Jurassic Park, The Mummy, and Ghost Rider, and drawing. I didn't get much done homework-wise, though I did finish a poem and get half a chapter read in Social Psyche. Oh well, tomorrow we can start with the stressing out. Right now I just want to talk with my parents, sit up, write and then go to bed. In that order.