Not something you see everyday on the local seafront.

A few years ago, somebody I know made the mistake of letting Mormons into his house. You'd think he'd adopted them. They were round his house three or four times a week for hours at a time. This went on for a few weeks, with him dropping subtle hints to try and get them to stop, but to no avail. Eventually, he lost the plot, gave them dog's abuse and threw them out the house.


To make sure they got the message, he put a sign on his door.


No hawkers, no Jehovah's and definitely NO MORMONS! Any found knocking on this door will be told to FUCK OFF!!


They never came back.

This song is the most played in the UK over the last 75 years. It includes plays on radio, TV, pubs, clubs, shops, stadiums, etc.

Before you click, have a guess.


No cheating.



[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbWULu5_nXI[/url]

God bless the underdog.

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?hl=en-GB&v=d-KiGva9dV4[/url]

A solution to the rising prison population and dwindling energy reserves.


Instead of sending people to prison for months or years they should be sentenced to miles on an exercise bike. The bike would be connected to the national grid to generate electricity.

If someone steals a mobile phone they're sentenced to 1,000 miles.

If they rob a bank it's 50,000 miles.


Or is cycling too good for them?

I received a Nigerian e-mail recently. The usual thing. They had a pile of money for me and they needed my name, address and phone number.


I gave them the following.


Name - Gowan Fukyersel.

Address - 69 Sukma Balls Close
Wetfart South
Glasgow
PEN IS

Phone - I gave them the number of a police station in Glasgow.


They got back to me a couple of days later to say they'd phoned the number, but couldn't understand what the lady said.


I imagine the conversation went something like this.


Lady - Hello, how can I help?

Scammer - Gowan Fukyersel?

Lady - Pardon?

Scammer - You Gowan Fukyersel?

Lady - Eh? Who the hell do ye think ye are telling me to go an fuck masel?

Scammer - I'm sorry. Not understand.

Lady - I'll gie ye not unnerstan'

Scammer - 69 Sukma Balls Close?

Lady - Listen dickhead, no way am I gonna suck yours or anybody else's balls up close. Whit de ye think I um, a bliddy pervert? Piss off ya numpty.


Slams phone down.


Scammer - Hello...hello....I have 2 million dollars for you...hello...hello....




Or maybe not.

After the recent fun in the forum with a young *lady* complaining about excessive and crude PM's, it got me thinking about the way some men approach women on the internet.

While it should be obvious to most that expecting a woman to drop her pants after a couple of crude PM's ain't gonna work, I think the way adult sites advertise encourages that approach. They have tag lines like - Find a Girl, Email her & Fuck her Tonight! - BEST FREE Networking Site To Find Sluts to FUCK! - Best Networking Site to Get Laid Tonight and so on.

This is their way of attracting paying customers, but it must create a mindset where men think all the women are gagging for it and all they have to do is send them graphic PM's. I've also read that some sites put up fake profiles of good looking women to get men to part with their cash.

Anyway, just me ruminating.

By the way, if any women want to see me get up to some filthy fun, I've still got me cam in the coal bunker. Me briquettes are getting a bit crumbly, but me poker's still in good condition.

Men pretending to be women welcome.

I går kveld jeg fikk en drømmen innvolvere Jimmy Savile atter.

Jimmy hoppet inn i rom føle etter av frankyjay hvem hadde på meg en 12 tommen strap-on. Jeg var avholde en enorm watermelon.

mdguy og scarylady satt inne hjørnet spising lemon sorbet og Jaffa cakes.

Jimmy produsert en butt plug fra hans tracksuit og sa å seaxun -howz about that then? howz about that then?

Jeg sa nei takk bortsett fra jeg overveie feschkka ville like du å henge fast det Havana cigar opp hans hairy bumhole.


Det jeg våknet opp alle wet and sticky atter.

Jeg var liggende opp på en marmeladen sandwich.

Did you know an octopus has never been caught masturbating on camera?

True fact.

Partly because they're a very shy creature, but also because by the time they've made their mind up which arm to use, they've lost the urge.

I'll educate you lot if it's the last thing I do.