WendySilvia's blog post - Mixed feelings

Sunday, January 6, 2019, 10:06:21 PM

I have not even been back daily, for a week yet... and my feelings are mixed... I am getting caught up in my old positive way of seeing things... My old ways of feeling ... But... I am a little more broken then I was before.

These past two years.... I let someone take away that sexy as fuck confidence I once oozed... actually.. I let this person absolutely destroy me! I thought it was love to stick around... I thought it was for love that I kept enduring this treatment...

I allowed a new story of my life to be written... I allowed a new version of who I am, be told to me... and for F sakes.. I believed it... still stuck in believing it...

How does it happen, where we let others tell us a new story for our lives... Why do we do that... Why could I not just keep a hold of that side of myself... Dam... You truly could not convince me anything negative about myself.. it was like a shield of power I had.. all negative things bounced off me and I would just smile... genuinely too..

I so loved other people.. especially women! Now... I am in a constant state of feeling threatened... I believe any woman who is smaller than I... (which is about 85% of you) that you will attract any and all the men, so why should I even bother.... No hate or anything.. Just feel it is a competition with them all and that I would for surly loose, have you seen yourselves!

I know that most of my broken here is mental... so that is my path, to work on the side that will allow myself to feel sexy, beautiful, liked, loved, maybe even adored.. yay!

The way I used to feel.. the excitement I felt over sharing my latest pics... the smiles I would see on my face when I would get comments.. or votes.. or just attention.. I miss that... I think I need it... I know I want it.. and I am certain I am craving it too!

I will keep coming back daily.. and move slowly... let the people like me too... work on being flattered.. and allowing myself to be admired again.

I thank you all for anything and everything you do to help me.

sending out some hugs... lots and lots of them..

W

Comments

Others Have Said:

Artistic on 7-Jan-19 2:15:37

who would brake your spirit hun, assholes
they arent worth 10 min of your attention
no all men dont like oversized girls like us
but then they are not for us
you are strong and beautiful
dont let some asshole make you think otherwise
muah gf

Be4andAfter on 7-Jan-19 3:53:52

I wish I could give you a hug, you are beautiful!
If you ever need to just need a fellow big girl to listen send me a PM.

lip2lip on 11-Jan-19 22:09:21

Mixed or confused. Feelings are feelings. Don’t worry about what others think. Love yourself for who you are firstly. Then everyone else will see your true self as it’s mesnt to be. Shining bright

SexyEnglishBabe on 12-Jan-19 12:25:42

I too have lost a lot of confidence in myself,although for different reasons but i still know how you feel with the lack of confidence feeling.....i hope you stick around and i'm here if you need to chat or just have fun x

dog_tired on 14-Jan-19 17:50:22

This blog made me sad Wendy. I too know what it's like to have no confidence, no love of self or my life.
Good to see you back. I hope things turn around and you find that sexy attitude again.
Big Hug.
-Dog