a starr reborn
Gift PremiumI am a walking contradiction skirting jurisdictions while self-implementing restrictions. I am a melancholy free spirit afraid sometimes to sing my own lyrics. I am child with old eyes and past lives striving to do more than survive. I am a silly, nostalgic, horny, romantic with naive antics. I am not afraid to break the rules of being cool or getting schooled. I am the color of earth, often misunderstood since birth. A chain smoker and late night toker, an ego stroker, sensitive joker and occasional chicken choker. I am as deep as you will allow yourself to wade in. I am my mother's creation, my father determination, the wages of so called sin and the scars left after being stabbed in the back or forgotten by a friend. I am the shy shiver of of an endless giver whose cheeks are moist and quiver from tears shed alone. I am heavy in heart and weight but free of prejudice and hate. I am a meandering soul searching to become whole while traveling in a caterpillar-like form. Not seeking shelter with the norm but weathering the storms that will come and pass with the perfectly imperfect fumbling we call existence. shaking off the shackles of pretense while understanding experience is neither good nor bad, more or less until the next time you can put it to its test. And if it is in the case to give someone an open hand I willing give it until my time's last grain of sand rests upon the cosmic strand. Our reality is within our hands
- 52 years old
- Male
- Joined 17 years ago
- 3,847 views
a starr reborn's Blog
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Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 6:07:47 AM- Summer | ||||||
Fall awaits, Summer still warms, The feeling seems lesser, I cling to youthful summer, fickle, summer wants me no more, NO matter how hard I try, Summer just wants to pass me by, Attraction, Inspiration, You feel wonderful, I fall quickly for you, Landing on common sense, Treasuring something that could last, A friendship, Conversations, Lifted up by peace, Somehow weighted by fear, The chance this season won't last, But I believe in your presence, I have seen summers come and go, But this summer to me was especially beautiful, A brilliance of life that made me dance, Had me seeking to speak with you at every chance, I basked in the radiance of your being, From the fear in infatuation constantly fleeing, Trial and error, from cold to burned, I was able see for what I truly yearned, Images attract but substance sustains, love for you as a friend I will always retain, Even to the point of goodbye was better for you, As broken as I would be I'd vanish its true, Whether you know it or not I have been blessed, Something I do not feel afraid to confess, Souls may care to count the days of light, May covet the beautiful whisperings of the night, I do not hold them, yet treasure each to this day, Knowing the length of their presence is not for me to say, I can't help, I felt deeply, Summer please tell me, Did I yearn too much for you, Am I out of season, say so, I can only love not possess | ||||||
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Monday, July 16, 2007, 4:16:22 AM- Say It (You Know) | ||||||
The world is a hush, a heavy sigh lingers, Followed by the harmony of unseen celestial singers, Unheard by human ears, but felt in recesses, Of the portion where our soul confesses, Even when I pull down the shades to my windows, I can still feel your presence tugging at my soul, Something magical that warps the ways of time, Catches my words in my throat, leaving me a mime, My eyes see through the facade of your face, My heart for you is a warm, welcoming place, My arms can tenderly squeeze away, All the chills of your weary day, My body can fill the empty space, My lips can kiss away hunger's every trace, My soul can deliver you from perdition, And my whole being only requests a one time admission, Say it loudly, Or say it softly, Say you feel this, You've thought about my kiss, Say, you know my heart is true, Say you know, I really love you, Say it once, free me of one mystery, Say it in someway, before my final day, Say, say, say it, say it in a whisper or deed, Say you know how I feel, let my bound love be freed. | ||||||
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Wednesday, July 11, 2007, 2:55:43 AM- FRUIT | ||
I saw your picture somewhere, Survivor a female force of nature, Tattooed brazen, lewd and unabashed, Checking your profile I cautiously advanced a compliment, You replied with a feigned proposal then lash, Shrinking back reeling at the unexpected, I writhed like water in a heated tea pot, Trying to keep my contents under unrelenting pressure, One word in your ignorantly written reply stands out, "Fruit", to you I am an undesirable fruit, I thought long and hard feeling inadequate, Allowing the sting of your words to fester, Finally like a seed that decided to take root, I understood I am a fruit, I was planted by a conscious union of earth and sky, Adored and tended to in sanctified mother earth, I was fed and provided the purest light, Allowed to grow and blossom into my own, Not xxxxxx into maturation but blessed by natural time, To this point where I have taken root in my own beliefs, Found a harmony to live without plundering the balance, I am a fruit, people consume my flesh which is my words, And carry my seeds of spiritual life to be planted in other minds, You see something undesirable, rotten, Not realizing you project your own unease at your self to me, I am a fruit that graciously receives gifts and blessings graciously, The cross breed seed of the seed of the original seed freed, Misunderstood, feared, uprooted, killed, sold for greed, I am fruit for your mind, your soul, a deserving companion a community, Your claim I won't dispute, yes I am definitely a fruit. | ||
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Tuesday, July 10, 2007, 5:52:52 AM- For all of the instigating, emotion playing monsters out there | ||
Not a Given I remember the beginning promise of the new, Ready to stick it out no matter what with you, I never said I was perfect nor expected you to be, Just wanted you to try, try to do right by me, Some say affection is in being taken for granted, Well I request that notion be recanted, Because I’ve felt your stinging words and gaze too much, I’ve begun to shrink away from your arrogant touch, That I may not give you a reason to ball, You don’t see, see it’s not a given, not at all It’s not a given by any means at all, It’s not a given baby, fools will always fall, It’s not a given I will open my door, It’s not a given baby, I’ll answer your call, Hey, it’s a given, no not at all, It’s not given, I love you any more How many words, will I try to endure, How many lies do you think until I’m sure, How many faces you have shown me, How many little slights will you think I don’t see, How many dollars, will be the amount, How many numbers, will I just not count, All of your transgressions, and overlooks, You can’t appreciate, how long not a given took, Now you’re looking at me all shook, We’ve been through so much, haven’t we my dear, Stayed the course through smooth and rocky years, Never expecting to cross the bridge we have here, NO talking, no listening, has made this moment appear, I’m not trying to instill in you fear, I just want to make where I stand clear As many times as the rain falls from above, As many times as school girls fall in love, As many times as the sun rises every morn, As many times as a breath in life is born, As many times, as an eye blinks every day, As many times as a religious one kneels and prays, As many times as you have made me cry, As many times as the summer will pass by, Its not a given I want any longer to give this another try, | ||
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Monday, July 9, 2007, 4:32:38 AM- Atmosphere (breathe) | ||
The mouth of the sky opens in a yawn, In this distance I see the dawn, I hear birds herald the coming of light, As the earth pushes back the blanket of night, I am comforted by the beating of your heart, The rhythmic sound of your light snore, Every little nuance of your being something to adore, Here amongst the dead I find myself living, In their mute approval I am able to be giving, I remember the day before with nothing to hope for, Surrounded by people who's spirits were poor, Garbed in the latest fashion but thinking out of date, Running out of this organized asylum homogenized hate, Hearing a "Hey man" made me quickly turn around, To stare into your tender eyes, a friend was unexpectedly found, As we walked I sighed inside feeling finally understood, To my surprise you lived a block away from my neighborhood, I recall standing at my door not wanting you to go Afraid to let my interest easily show, I slowly closed the door and watched you walk away, My mind pondering about what would happen the next day, Running up the stairs I stuck my hand in my jacket, Surprised to find a note tripping over my pa's shoes making a racket, My heart raced like on cocaine or the engine of a runaway train, My nervousness and excitement a tsunami I couldn't contain, Agonizing minutes became frustrating hours of wait, The time I held; like seeds in winter is the only thing that would equate, I walked like gravity had temporarily released me for a mission, Freeing me from solitude, granting me company's permission, The stars chaperoned me from above to this rendezvous, An odyssey with a an angel of hope called you, Just past nine we started telling one another our yesterdays, The haze of green eased our conversation's way, I remember the tears in your eyes about your relations, I was deafened by my inner soul's unabashed revelation, I cared for you, felt safe for once in my melancholy stint here, Was okay with you coming closer, not afraid to have you near, When my hand touched yours I knew it was right, Almost passed out with joy when you grasped my hand tight, And we lay head beside head just being content and still, Knowing we were some how fulfilling a cosmic will, Talk to me with gesture and touch, your eyes a kiss, The warmth and passion of compassion we’ve always missed, I am not scared to be vulnerable beside you, I welcome anything you would say or do, Whisper in my ear, let me caress your dark hair, Peer into one another's eyes to know exactly what's seen there, Hear me gasp and moan search my face with concern, Know that melting into you is all I yearn for until the world no longer turns, Heaving out the last breaths of the existence we knew of fear, rising up, dying, to be reborn among the atmosphere | ||
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Sunday, July 8, 2007, 8:52:46 PM- Everything Is Upside Down | ||
I hear your beautiful eyes call, Your voice makes me see the invisible, I inhale drink after drink, I am a knowledgeable fool on how to love you, But I cannot even say hello to you, I bask in pining away for you, I sulk in have feelings for you, I wade unbalanced through air, Angels mock and torture me, Devils empathize and console me, Fear allows me to approach for conversation, Courage calls my words to run without thinking, I stood like a deer in headlight at your smile, Frowning inside because you seemed to be listening to me, I walk away but my thoughts just stand there, What thoughts are you saying, What words are you thinking, Please don't pull the sun from beneath my feet, Please don't make my sky crumble, | ||
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Sunday, July 8, 2007, 8:49:51 PM- Crucified | ||
Crucified by your blank stare, Mouth dry like hope in the desert, Your beauty makes me an introvert, Branding iron of a lit cigarette gives me tiny sips of pain, In the face of elegance and confidence I feel past tense, Finger tips roam my skin as images of you feel like sin, My scars are brail showing the trail of tears I have crawled and scrawled over my years, I am insane with pain and disdain at how my stupidity reigns, I delude myself with notions somehow I could be the potion to be the subject of your emotion and devotion and at least your respect. But in truth I am nothing more than an insect. Demoralized, objectified, crucified. | ||
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Sunday, July 8, 2007, 1:18:20 AM- Know Me | ||
Amidst the hectic rat race pace, The beautiful love some let go to waste, We run around helter skelter, While inside we crave love's shelter, Yearning drops of life still learning, How to roll with the river's churning, As the mystery unfolds what will be told, I want one thing to take hold, I want you to know me, Honestly and completely, I want to be set free, I want you to know me, My fears and my dreams, I want you to know me, Mentally, physically, Emotionally, spiritually, Please come to know me, Cities are living seas of humanity, Ever changing currents of intimacy, SO often the chemistry never comes to be, SO sad the many untouched possibilities, Just a look just a glance and in an instance, Our hearts begin the steps to love's dance, Anxiously cautiously seeing who will lead, Arriving at feeling freed, want becomes a need, I want you to know me, TO see me without uncertainty, I want you to know me, Inside and out A to B, I want you to know me, Like heaven did at my beginning, I want you to know me The bitter and the sweet, I want you to know me | ||
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Saturday, July 7, 2007, 6:24:36 PM- Closest of strangers | ||
Revolving on an ever spinning globe of life, Each of us dealing with out personal woes and strife, Separated by a reality our eyes specifically see, Yearning to be vibrant, alive and fully free, Calling out from our secret hearts to the one, Who fate has sent to be our moon or sun, Constantly toiling and embroiling in the grind, Wondering why happiness is so damn hard to find, Sometimes when I close my eyes I feel you, I don't know where you are or what you do, I know you live and breathe, think and feel, I know you aren't my imagination you are real, I pray to the hands of creation to guide me, To give sings, confide to me where you be, Just point me in the right direction, Until I reach you give you their protection, I am here, warm and alive, in the wasteland, Narrowly missing life's turmoil like quicksand, NO matter how arctic cold or dark is the night, With an inner warmth that is my life's guiding light, The rest of the world thinks I am silly fool, Not smart, thin, talented enough, rough enough to be cool, At times I wonder if there is a place meant for me here, Being alone, a solitary stranger is my greatest fear, Some would say it means I'm not comfortable being on my own, But I've walked my miles in these shoes alone, The secrets of life and the cosmos I have held inside, The clawing shivering nights I have curled into a ball & cried, An inch away from saying not a single, jagged minute more, With visions of you just outside my soul's door, I can feel you out there, searching just like me, Wondering if loneliness was all there was ever meant to be, We may not live in an oasis or grand mansion, May not have magnificent financial expansion, We may not always have the best of health, We may not have good fortune's fickle wealth, But we will have a small corner of creation all our own, A tapestry of happiness from of our love will be sown, A roof of stars and carpet of fresh green to dwell between, We could be the closest of strangers creation has ever seen. | ||
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Friday, July 6, 2007, 4:35:25 AM- A shout out to Some incredible posters :) | ||||||
Well, I have been perusing the galleries of NN and come across some very note worhty posters. Today I would like to bring to your attention some really incredible men I would reccommend checking out. They posses many qualities, beautiful bodies, great personalities, and an artistic eye the viewer can see in their photos. Without further adieu, here are some of the cream of the crop of NN men posters. Killing Lonliness: Incredible artistic eye, a long, graceful, muscular frame, beautiful flalwless skin, eyes that make gems jealous of them. His photos and blogs show a measure depth to rival oceans. He is a very down to earth guy to boot. Adam Bleytou: A strong athletic body,just hairy in all the right places, skin a beautiful bronze color. Sexy hands( yes I did say sexy hands), incredible from head to toe. MDGuy: Skin the color of warm cocoa, a truly master artist's eye for pic taking. An all around thoughtful beautiful man who besides knowing numerous languages that are audibly spoken he speaks to the viewer through his pics and blogs. He is the perfect teddy bear to cuddle up to on a chilly night. The Tool: A great perosnality that might get overlooked because of al the stunning physical attributes he possesses. He has a devlish grin, the most mesmerizing eyes, a body that would render Adonis jealous. Definitely a must see! Sallinque: Alabaster skin, beautiful inviting eyes, piercings to allure and bedazzle and a gentle friendly spirit sure to calm and ensnare anyone. Loin Ranger: A down to earth guy with dimples ( oh my lord yes), beautiful eyes that crinkle at the corners, luscious man next door body with enough hair to keep you warm in the winter. Wingzeroco: The body of an athlete, ripped, tantalizign washborad abs. His smooth skin fairly quivers with muscle upon muscle. He has been showing a more artisitc and different slant in his pics, and they are getting better and better. He is a feast for the eyes. flamingphoenix: Wiry and strong, sultry and steamy, his photos are artistic and arrousing. He speaks poetically with his photos, and is sure to make you swoon. dziga: A sensual photo subject who inspires with his photos. A mature, handsome man who wields light and shadows along with his gorgeous frame to slay even the coldest heart. RedpenPete2: a wry artiste with a silver tongue. HIs luscious locks, sturdy, manly frame and beautifully concevied photos are sure to make you visit his gallery over and over again. These are just some of the wonderful male posters on NN. They are can't miss and will surely put a smile on your face! | ||||||
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