alaun's Blog - page 29

Are you Insured for Sex.
Make sure you get the correct Insurance for the Sex you are having.
Please find below a list of companies who cater for most tastes.
Sex with your Wife....Legal and General.
Sex with your Partner....Standard Life.
Sex on the Telephone.....Direct Line.
Sex with somebody Different...Go Compare.
Sex with a Fat Bird...More Than.
Sex on the back seat of a Car...Sheila's Wheels.
Sex with a Posh Bird...Privalage.
Sex with a Transvestite... Confused.

The best Gift you can give,
one Size fits all,
and nobody minds if you Return them.

Never hold your Farts in,
they travel up your Spine,
into your Brain,
and that is where Shitty Ideas come from.

Some people,no matter how old they get,never lose their beauty,they merely move it from their FACES into their HEARTS.

There are only two things to worry about,either you are well or you are sick,
If you are well.
There is nothing to worry about.
If you are sick. There are only two things to worry about.
Either you will get well or you will die.
If you get well.
There is nothing to worry about.
If you die.
There are two things to worry about.
Either you will go to heaven or hell.
If you go to heaven. There is nothing to worry about.
But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with all your friends.
You won't have time to WORRY!!!
SO WHY WORRY?

Can't wait for next week off to England (Manchester) to visit family and friends, been long time so have some catching up to do,allways get lost when i go back things change so quick