Your last name stays put. Blame the civilization of a thousand years ago. The garage is all yours.Wedding plans take care of themselves. Since when has a woman ASKED for a man's opinion on the wedding?? You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. When was the last time you tried on a pair of men's shoes? One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. A 5-day vacation requires two suitcases for a mature man. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can do your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. Chocolate is just another snack.
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