what a weird wonderful exciting life I have. Loving husband who makes my world complete, wonderful sexy very naughty interesting friends who right now as I type doing to each other what I know they are and its perfect lol.

And I am happy, excited, turned on and so very thankful that they came into my life when they did, when I needed them and we needed them.


Love you all


xoxox

Tomorrow my wonderful nephew would have been 17 if the medical profession hadn't failed him and my heart is breaking for my sister and her family and for myself because I cant be there.

What do you say to some one who is dealing with the press, her own grief and the grief her other kids are feeling, I know it hurts her to talk to me because we were pregnant together and I have my daughter and she has lost a part of her life. I know she will deal with the day and all the pain I just wish I could turn back time and make it better for her. And I wish I had the words to show her how much I am hurting too.


Sorry for sharing this here but it helps a little bit with the pain.



GDC

Just watched "If you knew me" and it bRought it all back. The things that happened when I was at school, the words said to me by the people who are supposed to be the ones that love me and I was 15 yrs old again and my heart filled with pain and I feel like i am nothing and invisible again.

I know it's not true and I know I am amazing and a true friend and a wonderful wife and mother but deep down in my heart there is still an unsure lonely 15 year old dealing with the hurt




Thanks feel kinda sad now

3 years ago my beautiful sister died and I am still dealing with it and a few months ago my nephew died suddenly and its still raw and now I find out my worthless piece of shit brother in law has made my sisters children lie and cover up his lies and deceitful ways. All I can think of is the fact my beautiful sister wasted her life over this piece of shit and now she must be weeping in heaven over her children being treated and used like this.....I some times wonder if there is a god.


She was a beautiful soul who lived for her kids and my heart is breaking because the law says he is the right person to be with....Fuck me I am so angry and sad I want to rip his heart out





gdc

Lyrics to Dance With You :

sittin' on the beach
the island king of love
deep in fijian seas
deep in some blissful dream
where the goddess finally sleeps
in the lap of her lover
subdued in all her rage
and I am aglow with the taste
of the demons driven out
and happily replaced
with the presence of real love
the only one who saves

I wanna dance with you
I see a world where people live and die with grace
the karmic ocean dried up and leave no trace
I wanna dance with you
I see a sky full of the stars that change our minds
and lead us back to a world we would not face

the stillness in your eyes
convinces me that I
I don't know a thing
and I been around the world and I've
tasted all the wines
a half a billion times
came sickened to your shores
you show me what this life is for

I wanna dance with you
I see a world where people live and die with grace
the karmic ocean dried up and leave no trace
I wanna dance with you
I see a sky full of the stars that change our minds
and lead us back to a world we would not face

in this altered state
full of so much pain and rage
you know we got to find a way to let it go

sittin' on the beach
the island king of love
deep in fijian seas
deep in the heart of it all
where the goddess finally sleeps
after eons of war and lifetimes
she smilin' and free, nothin' left
but a cracking voice and a song, oh lord

I wanna dance with you
i see a world where people live and die with grace
the karmic ocean dried up and leave no trace
I wanna dance with you
i see a sky full of the stars that change our minds
and lead us back to a world we would not face
we would not face
we would not face
we would not face
we would not face
we would not face
sittin' on the beach
the island king of love
deep in fijian seas
deep in some blissful dream
where the goddess finally sleeps
in the lap of her lover
subdued in all her rage
and I am aglow with the taste
of the demons driven out
and happily replaced
with the presence of real love
the only one who saves

I wanna dance with you
I see a world where people live and die with grace
the karmic ocean dried up and leave no trace
I wanna dance with you
I see a sky full of the stars that change our minds
and lead us back to a world we would not face

the stillness in your eyes
convinces me that I
I don't know a thing
and I been around the world and I've
tasted all the wines
a half a billion times
came sickened to your shores
you show me what this life is for

I wanna dance with you
I see a world where people live and die with grace
the karmic ocean dried up and leave no trace
I wanna dance with you
I see a sky full of the stars that change our minds
and lead us back to a world we would not face

in this altered state
full of so much pain and rage
you know we got to find a way to let it go

sittin' on the beach
the island king of love
deep in fijian seas
deep in the heart of it all
where the goddess finally sleeps
after eons of war and lifetimes
she smilin' and free, nothin' left
but a cracking voice and a song, oh lord

I wanna dance with you
i see a world where people live and die with grace
the karmic ocean dried up and leave no trace
I wanna dance with you
i see a sky full of the stars that change our minds
and lead us back to a world we would not face
we would not face
we would not face
we would not face
we would not face
we would not face

You know what I love about going to bed with him.....Its not the sex, which is awesome, its the two bodies entwined, arms around each other either my back to him, his arms around me, his breath on my neck and legs on top of mine or me spooning with him, my head pressed into his back, arms wrapped around him, listen to him breathe and feeling his heart beat against my breast. And laying there listening to him snoring, softly at first then slowly louder.

It is a trully wonderful thing and I could lay like that forever listening, loving and enjoying the closeness that comes from being married for 21 years ....

Just wanted to share that with you all xoxoxo

Some men have muscles
They are muscle bound and on display
Some men have money
And a few of them think they can own me-ee
But it's you I know and no one else will do
Yes it's you I know with all you put me through
When I was driftin' down you pulled me up agai-ain
And it's you I know, you'll love me to the end
Some men think they're funny
When the laughing stops you're on your own
Some are familiar, before their real intentions are fully shown
Sometimes I wonder if I know myself as well as I know you
But it's you I know and no one else will do
Yes it's you I know with all you put me throu-ough
When I was driftin' down you pulled me up again
And it's you I know, you love me to the end
You could be anything, you could be anything you wa-a-ant
You could be everywhere, you could be everywhere at o-o-once
You could have anyone, you don't need me to get you goi-i-in'
You could have anyone, your sea is full to overflowin'
I've seen them walking - through a market place in Florence
I've heard them singing - in a foreign place in Spanish
Sometimes I wonder if I know myself as well as I know you
But it's you I know and no one else will do
Yes it's you I know with all you put me throu-ough
When I was driftin' down you pulled me up again
And it's you I know, you love me to the e-e-end
And it's you I know and no one else will do
Yes it's you I know with all you put me throu-ough
When I was driftin' down you pulled me up again
And it's you I know, you love me to the e-e-e...e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-end
To the e-e-e...e-e-e-e-e-e-end
But it's you I know and no one else will do
Yes it's you I know with all you

Went to hubbys work do last night and came home early, why? Because as I stood there by myself with only a couple of people bothering to acknowlege my existence I realised I dont like many of them. I have nothing in common with them and their uppity ways. We have been here for 8 years I have worked at my job since the day I came to town,which is something the other wives of this company cant say. Oh what a minute, I only work at the supermarket I forgot for a minute I am not a company wife hee hee

News for you ladies!!! How do you think you get your alcohol and tampons and the things you cant live with out....... because some one you concider not good enough to talk to fucken ordered it for you. And wait that would be ME. And thank god I dont hang around with you or I might end up like you with my head up my ass thinking my shit dont stink.

So stand around make me feel like I am beneath you, dont talk to me I dont give a fuck, I would never have met freek or the other interesting people I have if I didnt work there and everybody knows my name, can you say the same about yourself? So when you got no bubbly to drink at your sundowners and you have no tampons and your wondering what to do remember you should have been nicer to the girl at the store she is the one that controls your life lol


Fuck that feels better hee hee hee

Things been stressful waiting to see the doctor but got the all clear today just have to go get boob squashed in a machine of torture (obviously invented by a man)every 12 months for a while .......



sometimes I sort of believe there might be a god




gdc xoxox

I am having the worst day at work every one there is as useless as tits on a bull, and if they had half a brain they would be dangerous.


Just wanted to vent and now I feel so much better.



bye

gdc