gpflem's Blog - page 9

A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales.

So, he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.'

Soon Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10.

If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close.
The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.'

A week later, Paddy, along with his friend Mick, pulled in for another Fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.

Paddy guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.'

As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy,
'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.'

Paddy replied, 'No it ain't, Mick. It's not rigged at all at all.

My wife won twice last week.'

Happy easter every one.

My wish is that the Easter Bunny comes to you..........





.......and that the Playboy Bunny comes to me.

Play nice every one

I just read an article about a lady who makes ice cubes from left over wine.

I am so confused!



What the heck is left over wine?

Hope you all enjoy the festivities if you are into the Irish party.

things are going well - getting some work - passed my short course - things fall t shit.

Had to go over the other side of town yesterday ( Fri ) - about an hour away - to work. When I get there the coolant falls out the bottom of the car and now there is no water in the radiator.

So I call a tow truck and have it towed to get it fixed.

We work back late so by the time I get a taxi all the car hire places are closed so I have to take the taxi all the way home. Its peak hour so it takes for ever and costs a fotune.

Oh well - at least I am getting some work so can pay for it. But just every now and again it would be nice to get in front.

Had a bit of work on recently so I have not been on NN much or in the chat room.

I have had to employ some guys to help me out with the work, wich is good, except that I am having to pay out wages each week and I won't get paid for a few months. But when I do get paid I will be doing ok - just struggling in the mean time.

I have just done a dogging course. They are the guys that chain up the loads for cranes. This means I can now wark for any piece of machinery so hopefully I can get even more work.

The course was not to hard but I was worried because there was a bit of maths involved. I failed maths at the start of high school and never did it again - till just now. Scarey lol.

Any way I muddled my way through.

Miss you guys.

Take care

My neighbour is single...

She lives right across the street.

I can see her house from my family room.

I watched as she got home from work this evening.

I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway.

She knocked on my door...

I rushed to open it.

She looks at me, and says, “I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long!

Are you busy tonight?”

I immediately replied, “Nope, I'm free... I have no plans at all!”

Then she said, “Good! In that case, could you watch my dog?"

MAN... IT'S NO FUN GETTING OLD!!!

A
single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store and told the owner
that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede,
(100-legged bug), which came in a little white box
to use as his house.

He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box,
and decided he would start off by taking his new pet
to church with him.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go
to church with me today? We will have a good time."

But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes
and then asked again,

"How about going to church with me and receive blessings?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.

This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted,

"Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me
and learn about God?" ...

This time, a little voice came out of the box,

"I heard you the first F****** time!

I'm putting my shoes on!"

Saw the first lot of Easter eggs at the supermarket today - Jan 1.

I knew they put them in early but Jan 1?

Happy easter everyone!!!

As the fireworks go off I wish you all a very happy new year.

Be safe.

I hope to see a lot more of you in 2012.