You were with us for only 15 short years but in that time you lived more than many.
You were kind and patient. You always had time to teach the new comers. You had a wicked sense of humour and the temper of a true red head.
I am unsure if I should be happy that your suffering has ended or upset that you have left us.
Cystic fibrosis is a very cruel disease.
Safe travels little one,
Emerald

Evil I tell you!
I decided we were going to eat outside tonight which totally threw a monkey wrench into a 15 year old girls life. She had been schlepping around the house in a big old t shirt and her hair kinda hauled up on top of her head. She was pissed when I said we were going to be eating outside.
Never the less 45 mins later when dinner was ready she came down, dressed to the 9's, hair done and full make up. All of this to eat at the picnic table with her brother and I totally hidden from view by trees.
I am sooooooooooo glad I am not 15 anymore!
ju
p.s. Happy fathers day all you sexy NN dads!

This is my blog and I am the sole editor.
There will be no debate here. I will state my opinion, like it or lump it. Your comments will be removed if I decide they should be. No arguement will be entered into and if you chose to PM they will be deleted unread.

Dear forum members, past and present.
You once knew how to have fun and ignore the trolls. I am afraid that you didn't recognize a troll when you encountered it. You allowed your perspective to be slowly but surely poisoned. You thought you were above it all, so intelligent and wise but given your recent actions you weren't as smart as you thought you were. You were willing to allow your friendships and trust in the site you enjoyed to be undermined. You jumped on the bandwagon of fear with others you had always respected without stopping to think for even a second for your selves.
You have become a "cult", a gated community wallowing in your own misery rather than rising above it as you used to.
I really do feel sorry for you if you feel somehow superior by joining a closed community.
Once upon a time you were all for diversity.
There will always be assholes it doesn't matter where you go they will be there.
Now you have chosen to shut yourselves off from the rest of the world.
What you may or may not realize is life will go on, with or without you.
I am truely saddened by recent events but I do know that the world as we know it isn't going to stop.
People come and people go.
You are but a blip on the internet.
A few of those blips I miss a lot but not in their present form.
Wondering what the hell were you thinking?
ju

It was supposed to be another long day, course and the temp work. I had settled into the work and made my usual after school call to the kids to make sure all was well.
No answer.
Give them 5 just in case.
No answer.
Try to call my neighbour in hopes they have seen them and can holler over to see what is going on.
No answer.
Now I am starting to panic a bit.
Give them 5 more minutes, kid one is about half an hr late, kid 2 should be getting off the bus.
No answer.
Try the neighbour again and guess what?
No answer.
Now I call the supervisor and say I have to go. I was assuming that my daughter forgot her key in spite of being reminded this am. I headed to the bus stop and while I was waiting called home and my neighbour again to no avail.
Finally get home, yup the door is locked and the key is hanging on the key rack, no sign of the kids however.
It took me a few minutes to think it thru clearly. My daughter was also to be babysitting my friends youngest since her babysitting kid is at camp this week. Then I finally clue in, she never locks her door. Make the call.
"Hi I'm home."
"How come you are home so early?"
"Because I tried calling everyone I could think of and didn't get an answer"
"Oh"
"Are you coming home?"
"I don't know"
"Well I have to go to the store the front door is open"
All 3 of them arrived within 2 mins. wondering why I was in such a tizzy.
The good news is they are all safe and were resourceful enough to not let a lil thing like being locked out phase them.
The bad news is after an excruciatingly long week I was to be off at noon tomorrow but now have to make up the 2 hours I missed chasing kids.
I bet you never thought you would hear me say it but damn I am looking forward to Friday!!
Big sigh,
ju

Yesterday was a busy day and I was soooooo tired I fell asleep in the middle of an amazing lightening show.
Off to do it all over again,
ju

Anyone who has ever dealt with any kind of mental health issue will understand. It is necessary to withdraw to deal with the demons within. The world you used to own is no longer a safe place so your world shrinks to a more managable size. It is safe there. You are in control.
With any luck at all eventually you begin to fight the inertia surrounding you. It is horribly frightening. This world you yearn to get back to isn't the same one you left. You owned that world now you feel like a total stranger.
With any luck at all you will meet people, most likely professionals who will encourage you and show you where all the safety nets are. They won't coddle you or make it easy for you however they will show you the many options that are available to you. The gateways to freedom if you will.
I have begun to taste that freedom again. Things that I used to love and then began to fear are calling me back.
I am tasting that freedom again.
It tastes good.
It is a long road full of potholes.
Learning to navagate again,
ju

to go on blogging binges.
I start off wanting to tell what is going on or what has gone on then I seem to get caught up with it all and blogging begins to feel like an effort.
I guess many things in my life are a "you had to be there for it" kind of thing.
In a nutshell, I am still attending the course. I have a few more ideas how to cope with issues surrounding the fall course. I have a sort of job for 8 days starting on Monday, that relates to everything I have been doing recently.
The funniest moment was getting an assignment that involved some research. I asked if we could work in pairs, the more computer literate with the totally illiterate. That was OKed.
R and I sat down at the computer and I put him in the drivers seat so he could learn as we went. I said to him,
"Push start"
Silly bugger reached up with his finger and tried to push the start button.
I then introduced him to the mouse. He is now thrilled that he can scroll and copy and paste!
I am having a blast.
Meeting and interacting with people really motivates me.
Guess that is why I am such a chatter.
ju

I forget what we covered today. The combination of sun and beer the day before and rain and a stifflingly hot room were enough to keep me in the zombie mode I woke in this morning.
I had an intake interview for a course I wanted to take in the fall. It seems they may not be as flexible with start times as the others have been. New requests for help have gone out. We shall see, it all depends on the new requests whether I get to take this course or not.
Fingers crossed, I will have an answer Monday for sure,
ju

Was a clock watching day. The theme for the day was time management. There were a few of us that were itching to manage our time more effectively
It was an absolutely gorgeous day and of course beer after class day.
I went to school and came home with a sunburn.
We sat out on the patio.
I spent a few hrs and had a few pitchers of beer with a few really fun people.
You know I can't remember the last time I went out for a beer.
T and I clicked big time. She and I have lots in common not the least of which is children with disabilities.
R is fun and scares the hell outta me. He and I think alike about so many things, the silliest being we are both totally freaked out by the stairs there and take the elevator to the second floor whenever possible.
The thing I am getting out of this the most is the social aspect and that is just as important as the rest of it.
My ex didn't like to go anywhere or do anything and then when that was resolved there was never the opportunity. Money became a huge issue and still is but you know what?
The $20 I spent this afternoon is priceless in terms of my mental health.
One of my goals is to find more "me" time. That is by no means my only goal but I need that to move forward. Today showed me just how important it really is.
Energized,
ju
*edit*
I really don't know how it came about but many assume my son is autistic.
He isn't.
He has CP (cerebral palsy) a totally different barrel of monkeys.

Won't be happening. I have a sick kid. She was home yesterday and is now vomiting and complaining of a really sore stomach. There is a trip to urgent care in my future.
ju, in mommy mode