Let me apologize ahead of time...this is going to be a rant!!

I'm so mad right now I could strangle someone!!! Not easy to make me that angry...I'm usually a pretty happy person.

This internet dating crap is going to kill me though! I just hope that eventually I'm going to find what I'm looking for, and what I deserve and it will have all been worth it!

After a very brief relationship crashed and burned back in November I decided I needed to take a break from dating for awhile. A few weeks ago I decided to give it another try.
So I started talking to this guy and he seemed great. I like to email a few times then move on to talking on the phone until I feel comfy with the person and feel like there's enough there to bother meeting.
So I was supposed to meet this guy for lunch last week...however I had to cancel when my uncle passed away. I just wasn't in a good place to meet someone for the first time. He was very nice about it and more than happy to reschedule for lunch today.

So today we meet for lunch. It was okay, pleasant...but it was obvious that neither of us were attracted or interested in taking it further. And that's okay. I'm a big girl and I know that not everyone is going to be attracted to me and vice-versa. I was okay with it.

UNTIL...I got an email from him after lunch that said "Thanks for lunch. It was nice to meet you. I need to tell you that I met someone last week and it feels really good. I want to give her all my attention now. I wish you the best of luck though."

WTF?!?! Now I'm just totally pissed off because he wasted my time! Am I wrong for being so mad?

The way I see it...if he really did meet someone last week he shuld have been honest and told me that before lunch. Then I could have made the decision whether to go or not.
And if he didn't really meet someone and it was just his way of "letting me down easy" then he needs to grow a pair.

I honestly would have preferred no email at all!!! Since I wasn't attracted to him either, when I got back to my office I told my friend about it and told her it was a "wash"...no big deal...just didn't feel any chemistry or attraction. Like I said, I could tell that feeling was mutual, and I'm okay with that.
I'm NOT okay with him going into it knowing he already had someone and he was wasting my time!!!!

Really??? Am I being unreasonable?

I'm telling you...this dating business is challenging! Then people wonder why some seem so angry and jaded. Umm...it's because we have to put up with endless amounts of crap like this. UGH.

WHERE IS MY MR.RIGHT!??!?!?!?!


If you got this far...Happy Wednesday

Okay so first I need to warn you that this entry may be a little emotional. So if you're not in the mood to read something like that...I'm warning you now...you might want to skip this.


So if you're still reading...

I lost someone very important to me last week. I'm having a very hard time with it and I thought maybe talking about it might make me feel better. Not sure why I've chosen to "talk" about it here...except that I know here I can say whatever I like in total anonymity. So here goes nothing...

My uncle passed away on Tuesday, January 26th. It wasn't a surprise as he had been very ill for a very long time.
It was 1989 when I learned my uncle had the HIV virus...and he had known about it for years before. My uncle survived and lived a wonderful life for almost 30 years after receiving the diagnosis.

It was because I grew up around my uncle and his friends that I am so accepting of other lifestyles. Not much shocks me.
Seriously...having grown up with an uncle who transformed himself into a gorgeous woman several nights a week for shows (yes he was a drag queen) and meeting my first transgendered person before I had even known something like that was possible...definitely made me an openminded and accepting person.
I hope he knows how thankful I am to have had him in my life.

I hadn't seen him since April and that was a very emotional visit. This man who was around 6'2" was down to a little over 100lbs but surprisingly he was still with it mentally. When he first walked into the room during that visit, I didn't even recognize him. Yes, I knew who I was there to see but his body and even his face had changed so much...it wasn't until he spoke that it was clear to me. That was heartbreaking to see him like that...and I wasn't sure how he could be so thin and still be up moving around and doing as well as he was.
We were told by his caregivers on that visit that he wouldn't make it much longer but nobody knew if it would be a month or a year...although a year seemed very unlikely.

We spent the next couple of days sitting around the diningroom table playing a favorite card game. Besides his physical appearance it was like old times, cutting up, laughing and reliving old stories and memories.
The end of that visit was very emotional because I knew it would probably be the last time I'd see my uncle (because the distance between us made frequent visits impossible)

As he had done before, he rebounded after that visit and even gained a little weight so there was hope we may get that year after all.
Then a few days before Thanksgiving I got a phonecall that he had been hospitalized. He was now talking to people who were not in the room and barely aware of his surrounding. Except that he knew he was in the hospital and he didn't want to be there....he wanted to go home.
They were able to get him home in time for Thanksgiving but we were told he wouldn't make it more than a few days.

The next thing you know, it was Christmas Day and he was still here. He was eating well and had stopped talking to imaginary people. I think he just liked to show off and let the doctors know they didn't know everything.

They said he wouldn't make it the few days until Thanksgiving...and he stayed around until late January.

I know he was ready to go.

The selfish side of me wanted him to stay. But the part of me that loves him dearly is glad he is no longer in pain and no longer suffering.

I've been sitting here this weekend trying to put together what I would like to say at his memorial. Wow...not an easy thing to do!
I'm trying to share the things that I remember about my uncle that most other people won't know about him. Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to get up and say all of these things without breaking down in tears.

Goodbye Uncle R....love you more than words can say...but somehow I think you know that!

Okay so I didn't come up with this one my own...I found it in Cosmo magazine (don't laugh...lol) and found it interesting in a pervy sorta way. So...who better to share it with than my favorite pervs

So if you're brave enough, answer the survey yourself...after you read mine of course

***Keeping in mind these questions were for women so most will not apply to you guys...Sorry but hey...you can read the answers of the female NN'ers and feel like a voyer***

1) Have you ever had an orgasm from intercourse? Y

2) If yes, was it also with manual stimulation? Y

3) Do you always orgasn during sex (foreplay and oral included)? N

4) Have you ever faked an orgasm? Y

5) Have you ever been tied up? N

6) Have you ever tied up a guy? Y

7) Have you ever been spanked? Y

Have you ever talked dirty? Yup

9) Have you ever role played in bed? No, not yet

10) Have you ever worried about how you look or taste when receiving oral? Y

11) Do you ever worry that you want sex too much? No...is that possibly? Define too much sex???

12) Ever worry that you don't want enough sex? Nope...I want it all the time so there's no way I don't want enough!

13) Have you ever used a vibrator alone? Yes...DUH

14) Have you ever used a vibrator with a guy? Y

15) Have you ever had phone sex? Yes...call me

16) Have you ever watched porn alone? Y

17) have you ever watched porn with a guy? Y

1 Have you ever been turned on by kinky porn like girl on girl or S&M? Y

19) Have you ever gone down on a guy while he was driving (road head)? Yes..wanna go for a drive?

20) Have you ever kissed another girl? N

21) Have you ever had sex with another girl? N

22) Have you ever had a threesome? N

23) Have you ever had sex in public? Y

24) Have you ever had a guy put his finger in your back door? Y (back door...really? LOL)

25) Have you ever put your finger in a guys? N

26) Have you ever had anal sex? Y

27) Have you ever had trouble getting lubricated enough? Y

2 Do you think you've found your G-Spot? Yes and thankfully a few of my partners have too

29) Have you ever been with a guy who had a sex move you couldn't stand? Y

30) Have you ever been with a guy whose libido was lower than yours? Y

31) Have you ever had sex with a guy who couldn't climax? Y

32) Have you ever been with a guy who didn't like giving oral sex? Sadly, yes...guess how long that lasted?! LOL.

33) Have you ever been with a guy who didn't like getting oral sex? No...does that guy exist?!?!

34) Have you ever slept with a guy whose penis was too small to feel inside of you? N

35) Have you ever lied to a guy about how many men you've slept with? No but I also won't answer that question!!!

It's taken me a long time to actually sit down and put this in my blog...but for the number of times I explain this to men in chat, I figured it was about time I wrote it here too!

Now I just hope some will read it...and follow the advice...

Men...have you ever wondered what to take a photo of for the viewers of NN? Have you wondered what women would like to see? What women find sexy? What kind of photo could you take that would get you more attention on NN, more comments, more votes?

I can tell you what kind of photo will NOT get you more attention, votes and comments...

PLEASE...NO MORE CLOSE UP COCK SHOTS!!!!!! PLEASE???

**I will say that I don't mind one or two if you have loads of other photos too...and that occassionally I've seen a really well done close up shot...but for the most part...enough already!!**

Everytime this subject comes up in chat, all the women give the same answer I'm about to give so it seems as though I'm not the only one with this opinion. Take the advice however you like but if you really want to know what women want to see...here it is.

We want to see everything!!! We like to see more of the body than just a cock shot. Back the camera up some and include some chest, arms, stomach, legs, butt, back, shoulders. I even think hands are sexy!

Believe it or not, women just don't usually want to see your cock in it's full glory, with nothing else in the photo.

Now I like to see it in a photo that has more in it though. Lets say the camera is back a bit (most cameras have a nifty little self timer on them guys...it's not that hard to use) and you're in a chair, on a sofa, bed, whatever...and the photo shows your chest, stomach, part of your thighs and your hand firmly gripped around your tool...now that's a decent photo!!!

A photo that is teasing and doesn't even show your most prized possession...those are damn sexy pics too!!
So if you're feeling adventurous...play with the lighting, angles, different clothing, a strategically placed towel, etc. Have fun with it!!!

Looking forward to seeing some new photos!!!!

XOXO~M

Not sure who actually started this but I've seen it on many of my favorite blogs...it's kinda cute so I thought I'd try it...

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
- YES

2. Have you ever fantasized about someone on your friends list?
- Oh Yeah!!

3. Have you ever seen anyone on your friends list on webcam?
- Yes...one.

4. Have you ever spoken on the pone with someone on your friends list?
- Yes

5. Have you ever met in person someone on your friend's list?
- Nope.

6. Have you ever accidentally prv' someone in chat by accident?
- Yes...I'm not very good with that whole PRV thing

7. Have you ever been in a hot and steamy prv with someone in chat and had the other person suddenly go, leaving your last ruanchy statement posted publicly in the room?

- Nope...can't say that I have

8. Have you even been carrying on two different naughty chats while in the NN chatroom?
- Nope.

9. Have you ever been in NN chat while talking to someone physically in the same room as you are in while on the computer?

- Yes

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
- Both is good...but my preference is an aggressive man!

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
- Hmmm...I suppose I do in one way or another.

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
- No. Many are requests from others I've never spoken to.

13. Love or money?
- Love

14. Credit cards or cash?
- Cash...or a credit card that someone else pays

15. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn't?
- YES

16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
- That's easy and anyone who knows me knows the answer to this one...5 star hotel!!!

17. What is the weirdest place you have had sex?
- Weirdest? Hmm...

18. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
- My head too!?!?! Hell No!!!


19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
- Yup

20. Ever been to a bar?
- Yup

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
- No

22. Kissed someone of the same sex?
- nope

23. Favorite alcoholic drink?
- Tequila...with margarita or without

24. Had sex in a movie theater?
- not full sex

25. Had sex in a bathroom?
- Yes

26. Have you ever had sex at work?
- Yep...read my profile

27. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
- Yes
28. Bought something from an adult store?
- Yes

29. Have you been caught having sex?
- Yes but it's been years...

30. Does anyone have naughty pics of u?
- DUHHH!!!

31. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
- NO

32. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
- Anyone that has the guts to post nekkid pics of themselves!!!

Does anyone actually read this? Assuming the answer is yes...what kind of things do you want to hear about?

It has been brought to my attention that I haven't been paying attention to my blog and I should update it more often...but I'm not sure what to say most of the time...lol.

Anyone have any brilliant ideas? Any really lame ideas? Any ideas at all?

Hope everyone is having a great weekend

Do you ever feel like the best people in your life have happened into it by accident or circumstances you never would have imagined?
Some of the ones I thought would be around forever are no longer around. Yet some that I thought were nothing more than a passing glance seem to be taking hold.

I like surprises though so I’m going to consider it a good thing and look forward to the next unexpected friendship.

I have another job interview tomorrow. I'm really quite tired of going on interviews but I guess if I keep going, eventually someone will hire me right? At least that's the idea...lol.

The other place I interviewed with a few weeks ago still hasn't made a decision. Could stll get an offer from them but I can't afford to wait because I could just as easily not get an offer from them.
So Friday I got a call from a friend who I used to work with years ago. She gave me the inside scoop on an open position at he company and told me to call the HR lady there. So...that's the interview I have Monday morning.

Maybe this will be the one for me?! As badly as I think I want the other job because it seems like such a good fit for me and great opportunity...maybe this new interview is actually a better fit for me? Who know...I'll go talk to them tomorrow and see how it goes.

The good news is...I've been on so many interviews now that I'm not so nervous about them anymore...LOL.

Well...time to go enjoy my Sunday!!! Hope you're having a great weekend!!!

For the first weekend in...I can't even remember how long...no kids birthday parties to attend! Yeah!
Ok so they are a little bit of fun but I'm pretty much overdosed on pizza, cake and party favors...lol.

A nice relaxing day today!

My grandmother is doing much better and he prayers couldn't have hurt. She still has a way to go and iwll likely be in the hospital for awhile longer but this is not her time. Not yet.

Thanks again