My wife has not been someone with a big desire to perform oral sex on me. You know how some women seem to LOVE to suck cock? That really doesn't describe my wife!

Sure, she sucks it now and again, but usually out of neccessity when I am having a little trouble getting hard. A little oral always seems to be able to coax my guy to attention! Then it s off to vanilla intercourse...

Last night, however, was the first time for something different. I did not have any trouble getting hard. We were engaged in some serious, passionate intercourse. Her pussy was nice and wet. My cock was full of her juices, thrusting deep inside of her. Suddenly she says, " I want to suck your lollipop!"

What? Did I hear that? She actually wants to suck me NOW?! I am all full of HER juices... she has NEVER, ever wanted to taste herself before! I pull out of her pussy and move up to straddle her so she can suck my cock. She takes it into her mouth and enthusuastically licks all the glistening juices. Her tongue swirls around my head... it all feels so good and I am so turned on by it all that I nearly explode in her mouth!

Then she asks to do 69. I happily switch positions so I can lick her lovely pussy and taste her delicious juices as she still sucks my firm hard cock. She shudders from an orgasm, then asks for me to "cum in her". I am wondering if she means she is giving me the OK to cum in her mouth!?

But she is not ready to taste my cum... she has never let me climax in her mouth. And tonight was no exception. She say "No... in my vagina...where else!" I said I was wondering beacause you said it having me in your mouth!

I switch positions again, lift her legs up and slide my cock into her. I am kneeling so i can see the full view of my erection sliding into her wet pussy. My slender cock is not as visually stimulating as seeing those nice, thick porn cocks spread and fill a pussy, but it is till a turn on for me to see me slide in and out of her pink treasure. I do notice how I do not fill her snuggly and feel a moment of angst for having a thin penis, but I try to put it out of my mind and focus on the pleasures before me.

I am sensuously working my cock inside her, rocking my hips, trying to work it as best I can, aiming my thrusts against the front wall of her pussy. She is moaning with pleasure. I am nearing climax and she then asks for me to cum on her belly! So I work myself up to the bursting point, pull out, and both her an I grasp my wet shaft and do the final strokes to shoot my load onto her belly!

It was so exciting to have a lovemaking episode like this... and it wasn't a porn video... it really happened! I sure hope for more of this in the future!

I just recently had an experience where I learned to like my cock a bit... that's significant for me since I really have not liked my package very much for a long time.

I got to see a couple of other guy's equipment up close and personal. I saw my cock as aesthetically more pleasing than the others. I didn't like the untrimmed, hairy wild bushes they had. I liked the shape and more pronounced head that mine had.

I have issues with my size, mainly my slender girth, and I did like the thickness one of them had... probably an inch more than me, but his head was hardly defined from the shaft. The other guy was about my same size as me, but with all that hair you could hardly make out his balls or the lower part of his shaft.

I also found I like my straight shaft from an aesthetic point of view. I hear women like a bit of an upward curve because it can really hit the G-spot, but I like a straight, hard cock for some reason.

I also learned to appreciate my lean body... with virtually no fat pad my cock sticks out so much more! I was surprised how even a little bit of fat started to bury the base of an erection and tuck in the balls.

So, I will keep trimming my pubes and keeping my body fit. I don't know how others feel, to each his or her own, but learned how even I could learn to appreciate some of the attributes of my own cock. It may not have the size I want, but i can at least appreciate it aesthetically!

I had listed in an earlier blog about discovering my turn ons from images on NN, I also realize there are things that really turn me off. You know...the pictures you see and just go "yuck, not for me!" Here are some for me:

* Really big tattoos! I don't mind a small one here or there, but when I see a person have big or multiple tattoos it just is not appealing.

* Pierced nipples, tongues or too many body piercings! I think a naval ring is sexy, even a pierced vaginal hood or a simple ring on a guy's cock, but I love to suck a woman breasts and the idea of metal hardware in the way is gross. I also dislike seeing a vagina or cock filled with stainless steel rings or studs!

* Bondage, clamps, clothespins, etc... I hate seeing breasts or balls tied up tillthey're blue. I don't understand the pleasure of clamping clothespins all over their genitals... OUCH!

* Men dressed in ladies undergarments... I don't mind looking at pics of men. I love seeing big cocks, great physiques, nice butts, cum drenched genitals... but leave the garters and stockings for the ladies please! At least for me.... not my thing!

I am not telling people NOT to post these images. I know there are people that like them and those that love to post them, so have fun! That is what NN is all about! I am just saying I am able to find what doesn't turn ME on by seeing those pictures here.

Some days I just find myself craving to have my ass filled. I can be stiing at work or driving in my car and I almost squirm in my seat wishing I could sit on a nice, big dildo!

Its wonderful when the urge hits me and I actually find the privacy to indulge in it. I get out my favorite 6.5" girth toy and lube it up. I go in the bathroom, strip down, squat a bit and ease it into me. I have a big "Ahhhhh!" as it slides in and stretches me out. I have no erection, this doesn't involve my penis at all, its ALL anal pleasure! All fulfilling an anal craving.

I start to thrust in and out reaching waves of pleasure where my muscles clench, my anus contract, and some white ooze comes out of my soft penis. I love to catch it in my hand and slurp it up.

Most often this anal play gets messy. All the thrusting and contraction seems to soften and force my feces out. That's why I do it in the bathroom! Sorry if this is gross, but it still feels so good! I clean up and go back to sliding that big didlo in me...ecstasy! It feels SO good! if I have the house to myself I actually moan out loud!

Eventually I reach a point of satisfaction. I feel fatigued but content.. There was not a complete climax from masturbation at all, but something inside of me got what it needed. Its so different form pleasure from my penis and I am so thankful I have found this source of physical stimulation. I love my ass and my prostate! I actually have a fear of losing my prostate due to cancer when older... my dad had to have surgery. I hope I never do! I would feel a big part of my sexual being would be taken from me!

Guys, don't be afraid to explore your bodies physical pleasure potential!

I have a desire to want to see a room full of men and be able to survey all their cocks. I want to see them open up their pants and reveal their package. I want to see it soft, how it hangs, how hairy it is, or if it is groomed, trimmed or shaved. I want to see if it is cut or not, how big or small it is, how their balls hang and look.

I want to feel it...how heavy it is, its warmth, its texture. Then I want to see it grow, how it swells, how big and hard it gets. I want to see it at its full hardness, how big the head swells, how much the veins protrude, does it ooz precum, how straight or curved it is.

I want to measure its erect size...length, girth, and note its shape. Is it thicker at the base, does it have a pronounced mushroom head, what angle it points. Just feel its mass and size and how firm it becomes.

I want to compare each man to myself and to each other, taking lots of pictures. Pics of them all lined up with their rods laying on the edge of a table. In a circle with cocks all pointing in toward each other. It would be amazing to see all that throbbing meat.

Then I want to witness each man climax. I want to see how much cum they have, how far it shoots or if it dribbles, its consistency...thick or runny, feeling it with my fingers.

I am tempted to get a hotel room for an afternoon and stay their the whole night. Advertise it on Craigslist about my penis survey and try to get a steady stream of volunteers coming and going exposing their erctions for me to admire, survey and document.

Some day I hope I can get this fantasy to come true!

I was thinking the other day about my desires for anal pleasure and how I got them. It wasn't from reading about it. It wasn't from seeing it in porn. it wasn't from hearing anyone talk about it... I ALWAYS was an anal explorer!

From the moment I entered puberty I have had desires for anal penetration. I don't know why. It seems it was a natural inclination. I remember looking for things to try up my butt from 12 or 13 years old. I never even knew the term "anal sex" or heard anything about it. I just knew I wanted to explore everything erotic about my body.

I remember fingering myself, but I mostly remember finding objects. I can recall having fun with an oscar mayer hot dog... the sensation of the cold meat (it was fresh from the refridgerator) was very stimulating.

I remember an empty plastic toothpaste container (when they had these tubeular , upright , counter style products. It was arrousing to feel it bigger size. I also remember using a vibrator with it (I snitched my parents big, old electric back massager!)That was fun!

I remember being in our basement and trying to get in the handle of a plastic oar from a blow up raft we had. The end was nice and round. The diameter of the handle was bigger than anything I have had tried before and it was exciting as hell to try to get it in! I recall the effort, some pain and learning how to relax to try and get it to go in... but what I really remeber is when it finally slipped in! OMG!!! It was such a turn on!

Funny, but I don't remember maintaining regular anal fun in High School or College. I do remeber an occassional craving and finding some object to put in me, but it wasn't until after college and I had the privacy of my own apartment, did I really have my anal fun and exploration take off! Some days I couldn't wait to get home from work and spend the night fucking myself with new objects of my creation!

I made my own dildos out of clay and made molds from plaster to cast them out of a casting wax. I remeber shopping for cuccumber of differnt sizes to spend an evening going bigger and bigger. I recall trying different shapes... making a dildo with a very big ball shaped head.

This woman I started seeing, who lived in my aprtment building, ended up finding my stash of toys. It freaked her out. She thought I had to be gay to like anal. She wanted me to stop.. and I actually did for quite a while... but the urges come back and I secretly endulged. I ended up marrying her and I do it in secret to this day. I think anal will always be a part of me. Wish she could know and approve of it! And even share the experiences with me.

My son was away at an overnight camp last night so I disrobed my wife in our family room and got to enjoy sex with lights on... a rarity for us. I loved seeing her pussy. I did LOT'S of oral on her. Her lips, her wetness, her lovely pink flesh inside... gorgeous! She was laying back in the easy chair, legs up, me kneeling in front... what a view!

Then it came to inserting my cock. I rarely ever have had such a well lit view to be able to see my shaft penetrate her. What a sight! But in my mind I was wishing I had a big cock for her! My thin 6 incher was not ,as impressive as all those big ones I have enjoyed seeing in porn. I didn't stretch, fill or give her that "Oh my god!" feeling. I wanted a big thick dildo to use on her! My thoughts caused me to lose my erection... so it was back to oral to make her cum.

I wish I could be big... or be able to erase my mind of what I have seen and read so I can be ignorant and learn to accept what cock I do have.

I still greatly enjoy the lovemaking and the closeness with her even without orgasm. We make love late at night so I end up just giving up, telling her I am just tired, cuddle up close, kiss her deeply and rub her all over with our bodies intertwined, my erection slowly fading.

I want to cum... she wants me to cum. She has expressed concern asking "if she is too big down there". I have no idea if she is! She is the only woman I have experienced. I tell her she is fine and I am just tired. But I know my cock is skinnier than most, so if she IS bigger that is not a good combo! Another problem with having a skinny dick!

I get a great deal of pleasure from thick dildos and anal stimulation. Average or below average girth objects don't do it at all. Use a nice thick one and the fireworks fly... the initial penetration, the stretch, the full feeling, the pressure and stimulation it gives my trigger spot (the prostate).

If I have the house to myself I can moan out loud with pleasure. I take it out for short breathers and then going back in its OMG! all over again! it is SO wonderful! Big feels SO good!

So now I look at my slender penis and think of how little this can do in comparison. When having intercourse I always think I wish I could give my partner that wonderful, full intense pleasure. I know it isn't fair to compare my anal pleasure to what a woman may feel with her vagina. They are different. But I somehow think there are a lot of simularities.

Seeing women taking larger in even amature porn where the people and reactions are more genuine it seems real. Reading women's views on girth reinforce that as well. They seem to REALLY like girth!

So how can one discount their own real experiences with size to not feel inadequate? Bigger being better is all so real to me?

I find it interesting to see what porn really excites me the most. I have found my "favorites" being bookmarked or still images from sites saved to my own computer. Of course, NewbieNudes is one of my favorite sites!

When I look through my saved images folders and I see patterns develop as common themes are present.

Some things I find I like are:

- Women enjoying nice thick cocks, not the super huge porn type, but nice, above average, THICK ones! I find I love pictures of their hands wrapped around them where their fingers don't meet! And also inside mouthes, vaginas and butts where you can see how nice a full it makes them! Hmmm... no wonder I feel so inadequate with my thin erection.

- Nice big, well groomed cocks! I defintely have a case of big penis envy. While I am sure I am not gay I still appreciate what I see as the perfect cock and they all have nice girth!

- Extreme close ups of vaginas! I love the diversity of shapes and styles of a woman's genitals. They are so beautiful!!! Pictures that are so crisp and clear and show every little detail are so wonderful!

- Landing strips! I love pictures of women with well groomed kittys where the have nice little strips and patches.

- Stockings! The thigh high kind, lacy and fish net styles.

- Women taking baths and showers! I love seeing the wet, sudsy bodies glistening!

- Women using toys and inserting other things (bananas, cukes, shampoo bottles, etc) I love seeing a woman filled and her vaginal lips wrapped around the object nice and snug!

- Smaller breasts with nice erect nipples. I have rarely saved pictures of big breasted women! Small to medium are my favorites it seems.

- Nice rear views in thongs! I find I am definitely an ass and legg man!

There are more, but it is interesting to see the common themes which shows what peaks my interest!