not so happy anymore. I was, for about a month and a half. Haven't been for the last week plus a few days. I think it might be over, not that I want it to be, but I've put forth the effort of contact.

It's hard when you have no idea what's going and why. If it's something I need to change, tell me so I can work on it.

I don't know anymore, all I want is to be happy!!! Is that too much to ask for?

I'm not really sure. I know that my time away has been good for me, not only because I don't spend so much time here but because I have someone very important to me that also occupies my time.

I really don't miss chat at all at this point in time.

It's rather funny too, you make all these "friends" in chat and on here, yet when you cease entering chat all the time they don't find a way to contact you, not even once.

Will I delete my account? No, not right now. But I will keep my distance and probably stay away like I have been.

I've been SOOO happy this last month that not going into chat has left me in a good mood all the time. Normally when someone asks me "how are you?" I usually say I'm ok, lately I say I'm good because I am good. I'm in love with an awesome man and I can't wait to spend all of my spare time with him!!

So on that note, not that I even know what my point was for this blog, I bid you farewell for now....

Ciao

NBI xxx

Some of my "good" friends tell me they like my pics and they go back and look at them, yet they never leave me comments on them!!!

Yet I can go look at other pics and hmmm, there is a comment left by the same ppl that "like" mine but fail to leave a comment....

What the fuck is wrong with that picture??

that are fucking attention seeking chat whores. They're not happy if they don't have the attention of the whole room.

If you wanna cyber with the room, go to the fucking pit.

This is all just irritating me and making my deleting decision a whole lot easier.

to delete my account here and stop spending so much time here...

It's not getting me anywhere but more depressed.

I can't deal with it anymore.

do I let myself get "attached" and hope for something that I know will never happen??

I hate it!!!

I'm in a mood tonight and apparently I'm pissing off certain ppl that I do talk to all the time and I'm sorry.

I'm pretty sure that when one goes into chat it's nice be to noticed...but such is not always the case.

So why bother going into chat?? I know some ppl care but at the same time it sure as hell doesn't seem that way.

I don't know so whatever, I'll end this rant for now...

so hard to tell the truth and be honest?

People who play mind games and play with people's hearts and emotion are immature and selfish.

How many times do people have to be played before they find that one person that they hope to god will never play them or cheat on them?

I'm so sick of being played and being cheated on. What did I ever do to deserve that?

My feelings are genuine and I don't think it's right of someone else to take advantage of that.

So to anyone and everyone who likes to play others: FUCK OFF!!!! You're about as worthless and heartless as they come.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE
MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
SOON ROUND THE WORLD
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
'SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.'

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, 'CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.'

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
'MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.'

This poem was written by a Marine.

The following is his request. I think it is reasonable.....

PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our U.S. service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities.

Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us. Please, do your small part to plant this small seed.

1. How many people have you had sex with in 2007? 1

2. Weed, coke, crack, heroin, oxy, acid, x, k, peyote, mushrooms, opium, hash....out of these 12 drugs how many have you done? nada

3. Ever cheated on a GF/BF? nope

4. Ever paid for sex? nope

5. Ever been married? nope

6. Ever been divorced? nope

7. If you had to pick one what's your fave sexual position?
Probably doggy

8. I'm making up question 8: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with a co-worker? Who hasn't at some point?

9. Ever done more than 30 days in jail? nope

10. Ever been to rehab? nope

11. Ever do anything gay sexually? nope

12. Ever have sex with anyone that you met on myspace? nope

14. Do you think Arnold could beat up Chuck Norris? nope

15. What celebrity would you want to have sex with if you had the
chance? Matthew McConaghey (sp), Jude Law

16. Ever been unemployed for over a year since becoming an adult?
other than doing work study in college, nope

17. How many counties have you lived in? 1

18. How many countries have you lived in? 1

19. Do you keep a weapon under or next to your bed at night? nope, they're downstairs on the wall

20. What celebrity would you want to beat up if you had the chance? Britney Spears...Poor excuse for a woman/mother

21. Ever rolled into the harsh ghetto to buy drugs? nope

22. Ever wanted to be a backstreet boy? nope

23. Have you ever played soggy biscuit? ummm nope?

24. Ever hired a PI to follow someone? nope

25. Ever bang your friends man/woman? nope

26. What is your IQ? not quite sure lol, I think it's average haha

27. Do you think Mr. Rogers really was a pervert or do you think
who's Mr. Rogers? I dunno, he might've been

28. O.J. Simpson......did he do it? Which time? Then or now, or both? Probably both, but definitely yes this time.

29. Fake tits or real tits? real

30. Ever watch someone die? nope, would be really hard to do

31. Name your favorite beer. I don't drink alcohol...

32. Are you single? I guess you could say that, sure

33. Do you own any sex toys? Maybe ...

34. Have you ever had sex in public? nope

35. Are you a virgin? nope

36. Have you ever filmed yourself or someone else having sex? nope

37. Have you ever taken naughty pictures? Of me? No way, never!!

38. Do you watch porno? no comment, haha

39. Do you like porno? real would be much better!!