A bus full of nuns crashes and unfortunately they all die . At the gates of heaven they meet St Peter

he asks the first nun "Have you ever had any contact with a penis. The nun replies "I poked one once" St Peter says "wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven"
...
He asks the next nun the same question, she replies "I fondled with one once". "Wash your hand in this holy water and enter heaven"

Then St Peter hears a commotion among the other nuns and one nun pushes to the front

"What’s wrong?" he asks

The nun replies "if I’m going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to do it before Sister Anne washes her ass in it"

A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman . . . He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?' 'No', he replies, 'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.' The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch? 'What's so special about it?' The cowboy explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.' The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?' Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.' The woman giggles and replies:

'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'

The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, 'Damn thing's an hour fast.'

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck," he says, "I really want a drink."

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the customer, "What's the name of your penis?"

The customer says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink."

The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called 'Nike,' for the slogan, 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his 'Snickers,' because 'It really Satisfies."

The customer looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. The customer asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?"

The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX."

The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?"

The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!"

A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you call your penis?"

The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because 'Quality is Job 1.' " Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"

Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is 'Secret.' Now give me my beer."

The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why secret?"

The customer says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!"

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.

... I have two female parrots, but they only know to say one thing'

'What do they say?' the priest asked.

They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'

'That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed.

Then he thought for a moment......

'You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible... Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship,
and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time..'

'Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution...'

The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest's house..... As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying..

Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them...

After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:

'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'

There was stunned silence...

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says,

'Put the beads away, Frank, our prayers have been answered!

Woke up at 11:30 (yeah guess I was a lil tired). We went to lunch and shopping at the mall. We went to Spensers for thigh highs, then to the mall to Fredricks for a new outfit, and a couple more pairs of thigh highs. Then we went to Best Buy for a new camera.


Outfit+Thigh Highs+ Camera = Pics soon if they turn out right.
Maybe Night can work his camera magic. Hahaha

hugs,
Smo4

Had a great time in chat tonight.......Bahamagirl, his_princess.you gals were a blast. I seen dodger, fire68, clittylicker, raven2005. It was a great time, like the old days. Met alot of new peeps also.

Don't yall forget to check out Bahamagirls newest pics, they are HAWTTTTTT !!!!


Good to be back..
And BTW, where the heck was everyone with cams tonight?

Hugs
SMO4

You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. Congress passes an act to guarantee all ten of your cows. The public buys your bull.

Waves to all the NNers
SMO4

The Why's of Men

>

> 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

> (because they are plugged into a genius)

>

> 2. WHY DON'T MEN BLINK DURING SEX?

> (they don't have enough time)

>

> 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

> (they don't stop to ask directions)

>

> 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

> (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapour lock)

>

> (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

>

> 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

> (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

>

> 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

> (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

>

> 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

> (don't know....it never happened)

>

> ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

>

> And the personal favorite:

>

> 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

> (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

>

> Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your

> heart...Then you are just an old sour fart.



Lmao, Happy Friday All
Hoping the guys have a sense of humor here
SMO4

I want to wish all of you people here a Happy and healthy new year.
May you have all that you need,and most of what you want.
Lets hope 2011 is a year of recovery.

We miss all of you.
Huggs & snogs
SMO4 & NIGHT

I'm told that there is a huge rock near a gravel pit on Hwy. 25 in rural Iowa.

For generations, kids have painted slogans, names, and obscenities on this rock,changing it's character many times.

A few months back, the rock received it's latest paint job, and since then it has been left completely undisturbed. It's quite an impressive sight.


Hope you enjoy it (if you haven't seen it before) as much as I did.

















I think this is just awesome.