It's such an up and down - and call me paranoid, but when I felt lonely and down this afternoon and was suddenly afraid all could end in a disaster when I felt some pain again in my leg, I wrote my will.

Because should anything happen to me, I would love my friends to get some of what I have, Helene and Elsie and Joerg. And I'd love to give a moderate sum to Esther, too, for her musical studies, maybe 20'000 or so. And of course to Angelika, who can do with some, too. Phillip will still be fine with the rest, and the house. It made me so sad, I cried for me and my future of which I cannot know what it will be like. it's just that I am afraid.

My life has slowed down - everything I do, I do moderately: walking, eating and drinking, sitting in the sun and making love. On the one hand it's me: I am becoming plumper and plumper and immobile, not only through my pregnancy, but also because of the whole circumstances which have lead to me taking a break from work. How I miss teaching and all the contacts which go with it.

On the other hand people around me treat me very much like a patient. They mean well of course, but the can't hide that they are worried and don't want to do anything which could be too much for me. So it's usually I who has to take the initiative when I feel like doing something against my inactivity.

So after enjoying Helene's wonderful meal yesterday evening and sitting outside a little (I allow myself a small glass of wine in such a situation), I suggested that the three of us might share our bed again for a change. We hadn't done this for some time - the other two just didn't want to impose anything on me, I presume. It was so good and gratifying - so warm and so sensual I almost had to cry.

How I had to smile when Phillip began taking Helene the same careful way he had done it with me before, lying behind her and rocking her gently. I knew of course why he did it, and I love him for this. Still I said, "Come on, I want to see something good, this program here hardly surpassed Austrian state TV".

And so I watched them becoming more and more excited, once liberated from the care they had taken, and and falling into each other, hungry for it - and so Phillip and Helene had a really good, moaning and rolling around fuck - and when they finished in total exhaustion, I kissed their embarrassment from both their lips. And then we slept in Phillip's arms.

What depotguy wrote in his comment yesterday stung me a little:" I think sometimes that you are confused that people are interested in your life as much as your sex life." But I think he is dead right and I am more of a conformist that I am usually willing to admit. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do", is a saying which my late parents taught me, and that's what I invariably seem to do. How could anyone be interested in anything beyond sex here on this page? But I have often noticed I am wrong.

I am feeling better today, maybe because the late summer sun is so brilliant all day. I pushed the lawn-mower around a little (only until Helene caught me and told me off) and I swam a little in the early afternoon. And now Helene is cooking downstairs while we are both waiting for Phillip to come home. How we enjoy family life, the three-and-a-half of us.

"I took the pledge as a faithful Alpinist, so I will be here forever, I will wait patiently for each blog, whenever you may feel like posting", is what I could read in a PM from a good friend and long-time reader today. As long as I get such wonderful and uplifting messages, I will try to be here, even if the number of visitors to my blog is dwindling rapidly.

What keeps me from writing more is my uncertainty - my fear of what might happen next. Do I really know how serious it is? I don't work, but stay at home, and the others treat me so carefully that it moves me to tears. Phillip and Helene, and my friends Elsie and Joerg really do their best to cheer me up. It's a time now I have to go through, my doctor said today, not only me alone, but my daughter and me (I still don't know if it is a daughter, it just feels like one). So that's what I try to do.

Kisses to all,
your Alpina

Thanks, it's so nice of you to worry a little and to wish me well, my friends and readers. How soon one is usually forgotten. This being a pornographic site, I don't want to bore anyone with prolonged descriptions of illness and such. Just so much: I had another thrombosis and the doctors were worried it could develop into an embolism like last time, so they wanted to have me under control.

I usually don't wear my orthopedic stockings when having sex, that's how vain I am. And Phillip is very careful lately and lying behind me, usually taking me from behind, and particularly not putting pressure on my legs, but still: the moment my orgasm came along the weekend before, there was also some pain in my thigh, it was even difficult to distinguish the two - everything contracted, so to speak, and I could hardly move my leg any longer - so that's what brought me into intensive care.

I still don't teach, but walk up and down, not too little and not too much, and when the pressure stockings come off, I have a swim. I hardly sit, and that's why I am not online much. But I'll try to be here now and then in order not to lose contact. See you soon.

Phillip fetched me from the hospital this morning. I spent another few days there; my legs again. I just wanted to tell those who wrote and were worried for me because I wasn't on for so long. Not all is fine - but some things are better. I might tell more later. Kiss you, my friends, and all the best.

So they brought me to phoning Aldo, Elsie and Helene, and it came as a good friend and observant reader had already predicted on the day the topic had come up for the first time. Aldo was quite interested in meeting my two eager friends, but said he would not come to Elsie's house again if I was not there.

Some of you might remember that Italian born Aldo is quite a special friend of mine. I have known him for a long time and what he is noted most for is that he has by for the largest cock I have ever seen alive. He has fascinated me since then, and he took to me, too, so we met now and then for some very, very good sex, because he is also a master at a rare art I have never experienced with so much perfection: he can cum at exactly the moment he wants. There are other guys who were bragging about having the same ability, and then they hardly lasted two minutes when tested orally.

So Aldo is almost perfect as a man, with the one common drawback: he is not keen on having a permanent relationship. He is a collector and enjoys fucking himself through the whole local female population. Mention his name in a group of any women and at least one with be blushing. He made an exception with me and we met now and then, I could phone him when I felt like some perfection, and for a time we also went to a swingers club together, which was very special. But these were the olden, wilder days.

It's this Aldo I phoned because me friends has urged me, and who we are going to meet soon, all three of us.

Some of you might remember Esther, the musically talented girl who did finals and left our school to begin her musical studies (my blog of June 6th and 21st). She phoned me last night and she will visit me over the weekend before she leaves for Vienna next month.

I will have to make sure that someone can come at short notice and tune up my piano, which has not been used for some time and sounds awful. Because I will certainly want her to play for us. I also want to know if her relationship could blossom in the meantime and if her feelings were answered. It's always amazing how much our students change in a short time once they have left school - they seem to turn adult within days. So I wonder what she will be and look like when she comes on Saturday afternoon.

I have often mentioned that I am not only an intellectual being who functions well at work or in society as a whole, I have even so much a sexual side - which I like calling my Sister Hyde side - as it is much darker and irrational and harder to fathom. As in Stevenson's novel, it is usually possible for me to switch from one state to the other consciously, but more often my dark side just takes over and pushes rational me aside. One thing is certain: my Sister Hyde is not pregnant like me, but well and aloof, extraoridinarily slutty and constantly horny.

I just mention this because we welcomed Helene back from her holidays in style - it was so good to see her again, and also our bodies seem to have missed each other so much, so they soon fell together after our welcoming meal and wanted to make sure that all they remembered was still where it belonged. Phillip, too, was taken over by desire, and as Helene assured she hadn't had any sex all her holidays and behaved as if she wanted to make up for everything at once, we had a pretty exciting and wild evening.

It blew Phillip's mind when we two girls sucked his cock again from both sides until he could spend his cum into two waiting mouths, and when I kissed cum-mouthed Helene. He didn't give in until he had cum into both our pussies while I licked Helene to loud moaning orgasms more than once. We just came round again when we took a midnight swim in the pool before we all three collapsed on our marital bed and slept soundly until the sun fell on our faces.

Oh, and yes, the first days at school went quite well.

Back to school tomorrow - I feel nervous like a beginner, but it will only be for 7 weeks, when my maternity leave begins. Still, there are three new classes I will meet and there are always the questions: What will they be like? Can I give them all they need? Will they like me?

I spent all afternoon yesterday with my friend Elsie, who is finally back from their holidays. I really missed them, and it's nice to have them around again. Elsie is pregnant, too, proudly so, and two months before me, so I can see what it will be like for me in some weeks. She is into her seventh month, and her tummy shows very prominently by now. But she feels fit like a fiddle, and is - as some online friends already predicted me - continuously horny and sexually as active as it goes. Joerg does not seem to mind at all - he would maybe if he knew of all of his wife's desires (thoughts of Aldo are still very much around).

Us two naked pregnant girls at my pool - we must have been quite a sight for Phillip when he came back from the office sooner that expected. I could certainly read "THREESOME" in his eyes. But he held back and just brought us some new drinks - he is not so familiar with Elsie and didn't want to complicate things for me. It was the first time, however, that he showed any interest for her - it must be her present state, which just seems irresistible for guys.