I hate workmen. I had to spend all day babysitting a two guys who came to finish up a repair the work would have taken me about half a day for each job but because its paid for by the insurance company I can't do the work. So there I sat as these two lazy basters took all day to get both jobs half way done. only good thing was I got a laugh out of it when one guy starts working the electrical system and does not even think to ask if the power is off as he cuts in to the hot wire of course the powers not off the lights are on I already told them that it was all the same circuit.

Now it is no secret in my family that my sibling and I got the short end of the stick when it comes to looks compared with our cousins. There is the Hooters waitress with the DD implants and the size 0 waist, the body builder, the football star, the head cheerleader, and then there are the two sisters who where the hot popular girls in school. I should also mention that I am the second youngest in the family my sibling being the youngest. I will say this at one point or another I have wished that all but one of my female cousins was not in fact related to me, and that is where it stopped. Well Christ if I did not have one of the best erotic dreams of my life last night up and including the part where the girl who looks like the one cousin I never thought was attractive. Says she is my cousin and still wants to fuck me, and have cum on her face which she likes because it makes her feel like a dirty little slut and do it bareback. needless to say this is the first time and erotic dream has woken me up in a cold sweat. my balls hate my brain for that but oh well it was just to disturbing. Well I guess a year without use can cause your balls to create weird fucking dreams. Thank god the night is over and that I would never walk that road in real life.

I have come to realize that boredom is when you start trying to reason why you are turned on by the things you are. In my case I could care less about getting head. which many people might find weird for a guy not to enjoy but the fact is I would rather go down on a girl any day than have her go down on me. That being said I have to wonder why I get so turned on by pictures girls with there faces covered in cum. I mean you take one hot girl cover her in cum and I am just about to bust a nut, now do that in real life girl sucking me off and I can hardly keep it up but you get to the point where I do come and its all over her face, the sheets, pillow and the wall (usually) and I take one look at her and its off to the races. So whats with that? I know some would say I just have never had a good blow job but the girls that have blown me well to tell the truth have been raved about by other guys for the skills. I think I have just spent to many long nights thinking about the most random shit. go insomnia.

some one want to chop my hand off or something? I could really use another bill to have to pay this month. So I got my car worked on a few months back no big deal just regular maintenance I finally get it back drive 1500 mile blow a radiator hose. great $100 latter all is well with it now being the holidays my car spends a lot of time doing nothing. finally I reach about 1500 more mile and guess what bye bye radiator hose.????? so I get my car towed to the shop like what the fuck I have driven 3000 miles sense you last looked at it and have blown two hoses. the find that its a busted radiator mount. guess when you are checking the motor mounts you would not bother to check and see if the only mount for the radiator is broken.

New years eve is always full of crazy drunkenness but I kinda wonder if it was also a full moon last night. to start things off at the bar I went to some drunk guy decided that he was going to play security and act like a bouncer which is really not that uncommon but he was doing it for the bathroom now I know that this is not uncommon if there is a deal going on or a girl in there but no he just felt like standing there and controlling how many people were in there at a time, and I do know that for a fact he does not work for the bar. Secondly I did my normal thing and texted all my friends when their new years hit. Around 11:50 I sent out a text to all the friends I have in my time zone so far normal including a girl I dated back in early October which to tell the truth was an accident I did not mean to send her a text but oh well just like before I figured I would not hear back. Well boy was I wrong and by the time I did hear back I was home and getting more drunk. so in that I was actually dumb enough to ask her why this was the first time she has returned my call or texts or what not and then go on rambling about how she did not need to actually answer that and if she did not I would understand that it was just booze or whatever talking and that I wished I had not screwed thing up with her and that I would at least still like to be friends. sadly I was sober when I said all of that because I had literally just started drinking. oh boy talk about going stupid. looks like 09 is the year of stupid for me.

I hate this time of year. Not because of the xxxxxx happiness not because everyone pretends to care about each other. No I hate this holiday because we have to have a holiday to make us care for each other to be happy to actually want to get to know the neighbors down the street. Sadly I have had the most fun I have had at a Christmas party in a long time and yet when its all said and done here I sit in front of my computer screen drunk depressed and bored its just sad how quickly everything returns to normal. God I do hate this night half an hour till midnight Christmas eve and its not to many years ago I sat on a porch in Florida doing the math figuring out just how long she would live, As thought as I knew she was I never even thought she would last two months let alone almost three. And so on this night like many other I raise the Margarita I can not drink to her, to one more year of life not making sense and to finding a way in the next year to fight like she did for fifteen years only to die when she was ready.

I tonight I remembered why I hate the holidays. If I get compared to my sibling again I think I will scream. yes they are book smart and always have been now they are getting street smart, I am street smart and book dumb as a rock I know this thanks. oh well that is my rant for tonight. on a happier note I have been writing again which is good, this will be the second story line I have written I am not sure what will come of it but I think it will be a short story most likely. The main character is Death (which is not uncommon Death tends to play a staring role in all of m poems, songs and stories) who offers a dieing man an extra day which is off the books so to speak where he can do anything and when it all ends it will be forgotten but after he will die. Well so far I am two chapters in and it seems to be holding water, who knows we will see what comes of it. As a final side note I would like to thank those friends of mine on this site who regularly read and comment on this blog first of all for actually reading some of the long rants I have and second of all because even though I only know your internet persona that personality I know I count as a friend. yes I know it sounds cheesy and yes I am drunk but it is true maybe its just kindred spirits but what ever it is thank you.

yep wound up selling my soul for X-mass this year I have spent most of December trying to come up with a gift for one person and the one good idea which came form members of this site (you know who you are) wound up being a royal pain in the ass I spent weeks chasing my tail and at every turn I all I got was more run around and odd looks ok Yes I am a guy yes I want to make a donation is that so hard to understand? Ok let me back up a bit first off I wanted to make a donation in the name of someone else as there gift but A I did not know which church handles there particular donations. there are ten different woman's shelters in the town where they live I know that they work for one of them I know what cases they deal with but secrecy is there big thing and so every time I go to make a donation I got nowhere and most often I think people thought I was a crazy stalker because I am a guy wanting to make a donation to a woman's shelter honestly WTF is the world coming to when someone offers you money and you won't or can't take it because of there gender? So with only a day left until I see this person to exchange gifts I said fuck it and bought them a travel coffee mug which they said they wanted and if she has a problem with it I will be more than glad to have a new coffee mug.

I actually got some free time today so I could go job hunting and even with the nasty weather I got around to two places one sadly just filled the position the other will be doing interviews next week or if bad weather after the holidays. I did not get to great of a feeling well I was there though I mean I know I am qualified to sell just about anything and yeah I know more about electronics than the average Joe but the big thing is they want someone who knows there computer system and I have always be a PC guy though I am slowly converting. so hopefully they actually give me a call back so I can talk up my skills more than the application states but I got the feeling that the manager was not to interested in my lack of Mac uses, I hope it was just the fact that it was busy in there today and that is why he gave me the brush off oh well we shall see.

for all of you out there reading this blog there are a few thing that I should say first off Durango really is a drinking town with a skiing problem I know that is the common small ski town joke but this town has over 31 bars 9 liquor stores and a populations of 14,000 on a good ski day. and has the one of the highest DUI rates in Colorado. the college police there joke that if you make it out of school without DUI then you got lucky and they some how missed you. As for the bar I frequented the reason I wish I could bring it with me is that it really was a Cheers type place and I miss that atmosphere. most often you did not have more than one or two drinks but you stayed all night, and if you were there more than five time the owner wanted the bartenders to know at least what you were going to drink. and if you were there regularly he insisted that they all know your name and that he knew who you were. To me it is more that fact that The Tav is a place that holds to the old ideals of customer service that you don't find much any more. MD guy your right I the next girl needs to be found anywhere but a bar and I have always looked for girlfriends outside of bars. I write saying "Holy shit I really am attracted the alcoholics" not as a because I just realized it I have know that for quite some time and its just something I joke about with myself because I have seen the trend even as a child growing up I found my self drawn to the addictive personality types one of the disadvantages of growing up with two alcoholics in my family as well as many other relatives. the only way I cope with it is through humor.