One of the things that I have been struggling with (esp with The Wife) is keeping it hard so I stopped at an adult toy store and picked up some get hard pills on Friday. The Wife did not want me to take them when we were on vacation due to health concerns so instead, I put on an old flexible cock ring that did help a bit. I still intend to try the pills that I purchased and hope that they will improve my stamina with both The Wife and The Ex.
The Wife has again (as she did about 7 or 8 years ago) decided that I am not getting to eat her despite the fact that she does seem to get off when I do which leads me to believe that she IS having an affair especially since that change came after she had lunch with a co-worker. Oh, well, I really do not care if she wants to have an affair, I just wish she would be honest about it. She has already indicated that I am not 'as big' as an early boyfriend of hers which leads me to believe that she wants larger. I am happy to provide that with a dildo or whatever - we have one that I hope to use on her this coming weekend.
Stay tuned!

So we did fuck a few times over the weekend but the lodge we stayed at was built in 1933 so had very thin walls and small rooms so no 'kinky' stuff. Going out of town again this coming weekend and we will be staying at a newer hotel where (hopefully) noise will not be such a worry.

Tonight I go to meet by myself with our marriage counselor whom we have seen together twice and The Wife has seen last week on her own. Next week we go together again. I am truly not sure where this will lead, but I figure it is worth the rather small investment to try and avoid a divorce. This weekend, we will take a vacation (the first in about 8 years - except for visiting family) and I need to see if it changes her at all or if she is a bitch as she has been on past vacations.
she says make sex spontaneous, but what that means is the same as always 'spontaneous on her terms' She has sort of made promises that things will be interesting while we are on vacation and I am tempted to try anal on her or at least DV with my dick and a vibe.
I guess I will update on Monday with how things went (or sooner if anything interesting happens).

I was on NN early this morning and thought about jerking off, but decided to save it up for The Wife so I went back to bed and lay down with her figuring that perhaps waking her up that way I might get some loving. Well, she complained that her back hurt so I got out some massage oil and massaged her back for awhile and then lay down with her again but no such luck, she wanted coffee.
She did make a sort of promise of more action later so we will see.

Well, today I went on a hunt for hidden candy that The Wife has stashed. She will probably be angry with me for throwing it away, but if she is serious about loosing weight, she cannot be eating candy bars.

Not much to say except that we have sort of progressed from her trying to prove herself to a somewhat regular sex life. I am actually pretty happy with 'regular' but loving sex. I admit that I still feel that she is trying to prove herself or 'win' a competition (that does not exist) but we will see how things go. We are taking two weekend vacations soon and we will see how things go then.

We went to the first counseling meeting and left having made a bit of progress even after only 1 hour. Ended up back in the same bed and I think I wore her out. At least 2 maybe 3 orgasms before we went to bed and then another in the morning (This after she allegedly told The Ex that I did not take care of her in bed). I do not think she really said that but I will wear her out before I let her claim that I do not give her hers before I get mine.
Here it is, Thursday morning and our first bird died after an injury from a fight with another one of our birds a few weeks ago. He was our first bird and absolutely the leader of the pack. He was small, but thought he was large and would take on any other bird in the house. We are both sad about this

The Wife and The Ex finally had a meeting and The Ex made it clear that she is not trying to get me back and that we have not been fucking on a regular basis (lol) but that the photos that The Wife found were old. I wrote (longhand) about 4 pages yesterday to The Wife expressing to her how angry I am with her and how I am not at this point interested in sex with her just for the sake of sex. The sex has to be real and not because she is trying to 'win' me back or some such nonsense. I admit, I enjoyed the sex for the past few weeks, but it is not real. It would be more real if it was a stranger from CL or something because at least then we are being honest that it is just a fuck for the sake of fucking but with your Wife, it is supposed to be making love because you genuinely care for each other.
We are going to counseling starting tonight, but I am ready for a divorce at this point. She may have done real, irreparable damage to both OUR relationship as well as that with my kids and that is inexcusable.

So last night The Wife decided to air our 'dirty laundry' on FB for all to see. While she was not specific about whom she was angry with, my kids are not stupid and immediately the shitstorm began. She has set things back 15 years and I had clearly warned her not to do this, but she did and I now have no idea where things will be going, nor do I care to some extent. The marriage has been a bit of a sham for too long and she seems to think that by sucking my dick a few times she can undo 12 years of ignoring me.
Oh, well!

Well, life seems to be getting sort of 'normal' The Wife is not trying to prove anything at this point with sex every night which is actually ok with me. I am satisfied with sex on a regular basis where we are both into it and it was starting to feel sort of xxxxxx