I win!!Do you hear me...I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

No more words needed. Remember the asshole?? I am about to be done with him. I didn't give up, I didn't back down and I didn't let him threaten me.

Only one question why do I feel like such an ass and a bully when I did nothing wrong? Yeah I am the freak who feels sad for the bad guy in the movie when they get caught even though I know they deserved it.

In the past few weeks I have been TRYING as hard as I possibly can to lose weight. I have tried many times in the past but as of Saturday it will be three weeks that I have stuck to this. I am going tomorrow to get weighed but I believe I am down 10-13 and very proud of myself. I can *almost* see abs under the flab. Still don't have the bikini body but at least I am in the area right ??!?
I want to lose approx 15-20 more. To reach the upper part of my healthy BMI I need I think 16 lbs or 30 for the lower end of it. So close yet so far

ok So I just want to say I am ok and things are a tiny bit better. I will know if this mess with this asshole is done with tomorrow or not. Thanks everyone for the PM's and such. Hahah especially the offers to kick this guys ass.

I haven't been around much because I was away Saturday night and when I came home Sunday afternoon around 1 pm I went to bed until 6...then back to bed at 11. Last night I came home from work and had to force myself to stay up until 9:30. Jesus you would think I am 95. Oh well thats what 2 weeks of stress and no sleep will do to you.

Will someone come over and screw my brains out?? PLEASEEEEEE? I want to be distracted 100% and then fall asleep from exhaustion. If I fall asleep during sex don't take it as an insult...think of it as a job well done!!

So right now Beachy is scared, yet calm. Something has been going on in my life that I need to take care of and it needs to be done now. Only 3 people know and they are trying to stop me. I won't tell my best friend (she a worrier) and I can't tell my brother because with the scare he just had with his heart I can't be responsible for adding more stress. Tomorrow night I have to go confront someone and there is a chance it may get violent as he has already threatened me. I am scared but I am not taking this bull shit anymore. I haven't slept in almost 2 weeks now and I am barely making it through the day. Haha usually I love my weekends because I am always up to something fun but this weekend I just want this over and when I get home I want nothing but to sleep. Wish me luck all and if you don't see me around for a bit pray it all went well. Beach is tired of letting people walk over her and is about to grow some balls.

On a side note...the bestest, amazingest, fantasticest thing EVER happened to me today! I freaking managed to get FLOOR seats to go see Bon Jovi! I am so excited I could pee my pants. haha and Bon Jovi is so fucking hot Beach will be wet one way or another!

Two friends of mine are feeling bad tonight and I would give everything inside of me to take their pain and make it my own. People can say what ever they want about me but I am stronger inside than anyone will ever know. Yes I whine, and obsess and spaz out but never enough to go over the edge.

Beach learned a very hard lesson in patience tonight and I pray if the person who taught it too me ever reads this they know how sorry I am and how much I care for them

Hug your loved ones tight NN'ers. I don't care if people don't feel the same I am going to start telling the people who are important to me just how much I love them

Haha Only in Toronto

Do you see:
-Obese Pigons who are too fat to fly (BTW way to funny)
-A Lady in her late 70's dressed all prim and proper reading an advice column on Anal Sex, Crossdressing and Threesome on the bus
-A guy crash into a slot machine, muttering GOD DAMN after Beach walks by with a low cut top


/me exits singing "you want a piece of me"

OK I will write the blog up I promise. The only thing is I am going to need help taking those pics. I have someone in mind but we will see.

HOWEVER I felt like taking more tonight and I don't get this urge often so I went with it. I ended up taking 69..haha lets hope its a good omen of what the pics ended up like

EDIT...so far I looked at 10 and I love them! I take the pics for me so maybe not everyone will like but thats ok with me

Wowwwwie! Beachy had one hot dream last night! One of these days once the fuzziness wears off I will write it up. Damn so vivid and arousing when my alarm did go off I was in a complete daze and couldn't tell you heads from tails if my life depended on it! If I have my way I will need to make it a reality VERY soon!

It did inspire some new pics tonight however. Nothing exciting just me playing around, feeling girly.

Things seem to be ok with my grandfather so that is making me one happy chick! Losing my grandparents is not something I want to face anytime soon (or ever for that matter)

Hah I am a total baby however. I don't know whats gotten into me lately. I went and saw the movie Juno twice and cried BOTH times! Then tonight my little cousin who is more like a nephew to me posted a video on my facebook and I cried my heart out, although I did laugh through the tears. LMAO the video is not sad its a play he wrote with his Webkinz and its just so "him" it reminded me of how much I missed him. On Christmas eve when I called to talk to my family him and his brother argued over who loved me more and therefore should get to talk to me first. Nothing like making a girl feel wanted and loved!

All is well in Beachland lately. Its a fantastic feeling when you get up to go to work and you are smiling. Haha no I am not smiling because I am going to work -I didn't go off the deep end. Just smiling at all the great people I have in my life who love me and I love them right back ..although some more than others like the *coughLEAFScough*

Have a kick ass Monday NN! Maybe I will try for some new pics soon. I just get bored with the same shots and new some new direction

So hear I am here crying...again it's not really bad considering I am smiling. I promise that this is not going to be a trend in 2008. I am still awaiting news on my grandfather and hopefully will hear something soon. But what I am crying over...

Last night things finally calmed down a bit and my aunt called to tell me about whats been going on. The day they had to send my grandfather to the hospital in NB, a blizzard was hitting the Maritimes. My grandmother went in the ambulance of course and 2 of my aunts took a car over to meet them. The hospital is about 2-3 hrs away so my aunts headed out ASAP before the storm got worse. As they were driving they got a phone call---From my GRANDFATHER!! on his cell phone. We was in the back of the ambulance, in so much pain they couldn't stop how fast his heart was beating. But he was more concerned about how his daughters were doing in the storm. He asked where they were and since he couldn't see himself where he was, he asked the driver. It was determined my aunts were not too far ahead and the storm was getting worse. My grandfather convinced my aunts to pull over and then got the ambulance driver to look out for them so that the ambulance could lead the way and my aunts would have someone to follow and also someone in case they got in trouble.

This is just a TINY fraction of the type of man my grandfather is. I am so lucky to have someone so awesome in my life. I would love to go home and be there but I know there is no way he would be happy with that. My grandfather may not be a man of many words but when he does speak we sure listen