[url]http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2016/10/12-reasons-why-old-souls-have-such-a-hard-time-finding-love/[/url]

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
Thats how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died
Everybody talking to their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
And a long stem rose
Everybody knows

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that youve been faithful
Ah give or take a night or two
Everybody knows youve been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
Thats how it goes
Everybody knows

And everybody knows that its now or never
Everybody knows that its me or you
And everybody knows that you live forever
Ah when youve done a line or two
Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old black joes still pickin cotton
For your ribbons and bows
And everybody knows

And everybody knows that the plague is coming
Everybody knows that its moving fast
Everybody knows that the naked man and woman
Are just a shining artifact of the past
Everybody knows the scene is dead
But theres gonna be a meter on your bed
That will disclose
What everybody knows

And everybody knows that youre in trouble
Everybody knows what youve been through
From the bloody cross on top of calvary
To the beach of Malibu
Everybody knows its coming apart
Take one last look at this sacred heart
Before it blows
And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
Thats how it goes
Everybody knows

Not long after mrsdc passed someone sent me a link to a post on reddit. Seems this guy there had lost a close friend and was struggling with his grief. He asked for help and got it.

A user there posted the following, and in my humble opinion it's the best I've ever read anywhere to explain the grieving process so far.

[url]https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do/c1u0rx2[/url]

"Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks."


So I'm still clinging to my bit of wreckage, and yes, the waves still swamp me from time to time, but they're not coming as fast as they used to.

I know I'll never be the same. She changed my life for the better in so many ways. And I know I'll carry a piece of her with me every day of my life.

I miss her. Always will.

But I'm weathering the storm.

God Bless and goodnight.

DC

I'm not sure where to go from here.

I read that in a post on Fetlife today. A user there was dealing with a bad breakup from the sound of it, and posted that on her blog.

"Healing takes time and it's okay that I'm not okay."

Wow. I really needed to hear that today.
So to all of you that have asked and are wondering...

no, I'm not okay.

I am dealing however. Sometimes it's moment to moment still, other times it's better, but overall, I'm not okay. And I probably won't be for a while. I think that's something I needed to realize. I think I've been expecting to much of myself.

The holidays are especially rough. Realizing I won't ever get to spend hours agonizing over what to get her, or make another last minute frenzied trip all over town on Christmas Eve when she happens to mention something I didn't get her.

I'll never get to see the delight in her eyes when she opens her gifts again, or see her wink at me at the Christmas dinner table when someone is telling a "scandalous" tale on an acquaintance and I know we're both thinking "If they only knew some of the things we've been up to."

I'll never again hold her as she sleeps and brush the hair from her face so I can kiss her forehead one last time before going to bed myself.

I'll never again hear her sweet laughter (followed by a snort when she was really amused).

And that's not okay. And it never will be.

But I'm dealing. I take one moment at a time. I breath in, I breath out, and I will continue to do so. I'm no quitter. Never have been, never will be.

And I'm not alone in this. There are others around me who miss her too. And there are others all over the world who miss her, or someone like her.

Most of us, if not all of us, have suffered a loss. Whether its a family member, a pet, or even a break up, we've all suffered loss in our lives. And when people ask what do we always say?

I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm hanging in there. But the truth is we aren't always okay. We aren't always fine. But we don't want to bother others with our misery as they often have their own brand of pain to deal with. So we say we're okay when we're not.

And sometimes we just don't want to hear the sympathetic remarks, or the platitudes. Sometimes we just want to be left alone with our pain. That's not saying we don't appreciate the love and affection we receive from others, it's just we aren't in a real good place at the moment and just want to be left alone for a while.

So if I, or someone you know who's suffered a loss, doesn't respond to a message of support, or doesn't answer your call when you ring them up just to chat and check on them, don't take it personally.

We got the message. We know, even if it's just seeing your number pop up on our phone, that you called and we know why you called. And sometimes the knowing that others are thinking of you and care enough to call or message you is enough.

So don't give up. Keep sending the texts, the messages, keep making those phone calls, because next time might be the time we really need someone to talk to. That one time might be the difference between a really bad day and a day that isn't so bad after all.

And if you're the one that's hurting, it's okay. It's okay to have those moments when silent tears stream down your face. It's okay to look at the heavens and scream out your anguish.

It's okay to not be okay.

We all say we support our Veterans, and I'm sure we mean it. But would you give a little to help a service member away from home on the holidays spend them with his or her family?

I do every year. It may not be much but each little bit helps.

[url]http://www.lbeh.org/[/url]

Let's Bring 'em Home is a charity started by Ernie (of Ehowa.com) a former service member. 100% of the proceeds go to buy airline tickets for service members so they can spend the holidays with their families.

It's a great way to say thank you and since 100% of the donations go toward the tickets, you know you're donation is going to a good cause.

It doesn't matter if it's a dollar or two, or even airline miles (yes you can donate those) every little bit helps.

So, say thanks to a veteran/service member today, and Let's Bring 'em Home.

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind?


If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side Effects May Include

- Dizziness
- Nausea
- Vomiting
- Incarceration
- Loss of motor control
- Loss of clothing
- Loss of money
- Table dancing
- Headache
- Dehydration
- Dry mouth
- And a desire to sing Karaoke

Warnings

The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Here's an interesting little test to see how much of a freak you are. LOL

[url]http://bdsmtest.org/[/url]

I dare you to post the results in your blog.

Mine are below. :O

== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
100% Bondage Giver
100% Dominant
96% Master/Mistress
89% Brat Tamer
89% Degradation Giver
84% Daddy/Mommy
79% Experimentalist
77% Primal (Predator)
76% Exhibitionist
71% Voyeur
59% Sadist
54% Primal (Prey)
45% Non-monogamist
30% Pervert
20% Vanilla
13% Bondage Receiver
0% All-Rounder
0% Brat
0% Degradation Receiver
0% Girl/Boy
0% Masochist
0% Slave
0% Submissive
0% Switch

I've been told that my positive outlook on life, the way I keep going no matter what, is remarkable. But it isn't. I'm no different than a million others before me who've done the same.

I had an example in life, my father. He's a survivor, a man who persevered through things I'll never have to suffer. When I was young I learned a love for reading, a love I still have today. As a teen I always had a book with me, tucked in my back pocket if I wasn't actually reading it.

My dad gave me a hard bound copy of Rudyard Kipling's Jungle Stories. Included in this book, in an afterward I believe, was the following poem. It had a profound effect on me back then and I've tried to live up to it ever since.

These are words to live by.

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Source: A Choice of Kipling's Verse (1943)