I know, I know. I've been away for like 3 forever. But I really need a friend to listen. I pretty much left NN some time ago.
When I left, I went with a handsome man, but he wouldn't like NN. He was funny, and fun, and he thought me beautiful.

Time just slips away and days become weeks. Weeks to months. Months to years.

We fought. Sometimes more than socially acceptable. He hit me. With a closed fist as a man against a man will do. But I am not a man. He hurt me.

I always swore to myself that I wouldn't tolerate that. I said again and again I'd never let myself accept that. But I did. More than once. He would hit me. I would hit him back. And all the lies I told.... That black eye? I fell.

I'm home now. Safe. But I can't quite shake him. He won't stop texting or calling.

Yes. It's me. I'm back, at least for the week of premium I got with whatever leftover nudels I had.

All has been right in my little corner of the world. Just living life, loving Meanie, doing my best to be a good person.

I started taking pictures again, but am leery of posting here. Maybe, one day.

My laptop is being stupid, the J key is stuck, so it's making it hard to write.

I've been hitting it hard at work. Like.....stupid hard. Because business has blown up. I hadda switch my day off Sunday to this Friday, because I knew my crew couldn't handle the day without me.

Got a call this morning that my baker had called in sick. SERIOUSLY?!? UGH..... So instead of going in at 9am like I was sposta, I went in at 6. And stayed unitll 7:30pm.

I'm so tired. And the season just started. Ya'll know me, I DO NOT CRY. I REFUSE. But sometimes....

OhMYGOSH. Got home tonight, after a hell weekend. Sat on my patio and drank a beer or two, smoking and reading. Went to grab another smoke and realized I'd killed the pack. Went inside and..... my carton was empty..... I seriously teared up. My mental status at the moment= fragile.

Meanie saved the day. He got dressed, and carted me to the store. I know it sounds like a little thing, but he worked today too. And was just as tired as I was. My darlin takes care of me, even when I fight it.

Tomorrow we're both off. Gonna hit the beach in the am and fish. Then after a nap and lunch, we're gonna hit the beach and lay there. I need my cup refilled.

Howdy Folks! Spent the day in status, just hanging out. I'd forgotten how much I miss ya'll.

I stepped into chat....gawd!! What did they do to it?!? I didn't last more than a minute. So confusing!

In other news, I've been adulting pretty hard. Managing my shop. Paying bills. Loving Meanie. We both spend a lot of time at work. So at home time is usually relaxing together and resting up for the next day.

I took a weeks vacation before spring break and summer hit. Didn't have anything planned. Just hanging out, resting. Doing much of nothing. It's been heaven.

Remember that whole Adulting thing I was talking about earlier? Well...here's an example I'm stupidly proud of:

My parents aren't getting any younger. Ya'll know my dad-doo has a pretty bad heart, along with a myriad of other health problems. My mom's prettyy healthy, other than COPD and emphazema. Still, they're in their late 60's-early 70's. Meanie and I help out as often as we can, since they like doing DIY stuff around the house. When my mom mentioned earlier this week she needed help getting the "big" ladder (12ft) out so she could replace a vent pipe. Uhhhh....no. Just...no. So my happy ass carried myself up that ladder, and about 10 ft up a steeply pitched roof. Despite the fact I'm terrified of heights. They kinda had to talk me off the roof to the ladder, because I wasn't looking up, down, sideways or anywhere else but directly in front of me. I was proud I actually kept my eyes open! LOL

Anyway. That's being an adult, right? Doing shit you don't want to do. Sometimes it's because you have to. Sometimes it's because you know it's the right thing to do.

It's prolly why adults are allowed beer. *nodnod*

Okay, I'm out! Take care of yourselves. I miss ya'll and think of ya often.

So, once upon a time, I got this HIDEOUS tattoo. An interstate sign. On the back of my leg. I'm serious ya'll. It's been an embarrassment since the day I got it. Long story there, but suffice it to say, I got it. And tattoos are permanent. (Ignore the lazer removal thing.)


So today, finally. FINALLY. I got to meet up with my very first tattoo artist. He's an amazing talent. A mixture of true artist, AND good at his craft, AND fast. About 2 years ago, I asked him to draw up something. Anything. To cover this piece of crap up. My only suggestions were...."Oh, I dunno. Underwater theme? Cause of all the blue?"

Flash forward: I GOT IT FIXED TODAY!!!!!




The turtle head is RIGHT on the back of my knee. A seriously sensitive spot. Poor Meaniebutt came for moral support and he might have feeling left in his hand. YEOUCH! But.....It's done. It looks amazing. I wish the pictures did it justice.

I am so very sorry for Mr. DC's loss. I could tell tales of me and Mrs. DC.. I adored talking to the lady. I came back today to just say that this site has lost an amazing woman.I love ma DC and Mrs. with all my heart, which is crying so hard.

Mrs..... you were such an amazing woman, so much fun, so vulnerable. I'm a better person because I knew you.

I have this song stuck in my head. but it's not a song. It's MrC. dammit!

In just a few short minutes......my beloved Packers will be kicking off their pre-season in a match against the Patriots.

I. CAN'T. WAIT.

I've missed football. Poor Meanie has to deal with me screaming at the TV again until Feb.

Me and Faithy are gonna be screaming at the T.V. together! LET'S GO PACK!!!!!

Seriously! I was ranting to ma darlin Meaniebutt, and thanked him for letting me do so. When he gently reminded me there where other places I *could* rant, if so needed.

It's not like I'd forgotten about you, or about NN. I think about ya'll all the time. I press Meanie for info. I just haven't really felt the need to be here. I suppose 11 years on one site, ever changing, ever expanding.....it just makes me....hell. I dunno. Not wanna be here.

ANYWAY.......

Ya wanna know what chaps my ass? What REALLY pisses me off? What I would call "Welfare abuse". I am NOT against people getting help when and where they need it. I, myself, have gone to what's known as a food bank a total of twice in my life. I didn't have a job, my (then) husband didn't either. It was humiliating. I was mortified. Those very sweet ladies packed up a weeks worth of groceries in brown paper bags, and gave them to me. I took them wanting to cry, but they were so sweet. They even saw my embarrassment and brought out a pretty little floral arraignment, trying to make me smile.

Didn't happen. I was raised old school. Perhaps now, I AM old school. But you don't take what you didn't earn. And you sure as hell didn't take ADVANTAGE of what you haven't earned.

Flash forward...oh gawd....almost 20 years. Did you know, in the state of Florida, you can pay for your wedding cake with EBT? (EBT=Food Stamps). No. Really. Please read that again. YOU CAN PAY FOR YOUR $1020 WEDDING CAKE WITH YOUR FUCKING FOOD STAMPS.

I work hard. I bust my ass. Ya'll know this. I almost kill myself daily just to do a damn good job. I see what Uncle Sam takes out of my checks. And it's no small amount. Yet, I have to smile, be generous, kind, and caring, to these women who (with a shopping cart full of crotchfruit) clarify that they can pay for their wedding cake WITH FOOD STAMPS.

*throws hands up* There's fuck all I can do about it, other than internally being pissed off that I've worked my lil ass off so this baby maker can have her dream wedding cake.....

*deflates and sits back on the couch* Okay....deep breaths....I love and miss ya. Everytime I come back I keep saying maybe I'll be sticking around, then I stay away for longer. Maybe not this time?

Thanks for reading.

Seriously! I was ranting to ma darlin Meaniebutt, and thanked him for letting me do so. When he gently reminded me there where other places I *could* rant, if so needed.

It's not like I'd forgotten about you, or about NN. I think about ya'll all the time. I press Meanie for info. I just haven't really felt the need to be here. I suppose 11 years on one site, ever changing, ever expanding.....it just makes me....hell. I dunno. Not wanna be here.

ANYWAY.......

Ya wanna know what chaps my ass? What REALLY pisses me off? What I would call "Welfare abuse". I am NOT against people getting help when and where they need it. I, myself, have gone to what's known as a food bank a total of twice in my life. I didn't have a job, my (then) husband didn't either. It was humiliating. I was mortified. Those very sweet ladies packed up a weeks worth of groceries in brown paper bags, and gave them to me. I took them wanting to cry, but they were so sweet. They even saw my embarrassment and brought out a pretty little floral arraignment, trying to make me smile.

Didn't happen. I was raised old school. Perhaps now, I AM old school. But you don't take what you didn't earn. And you sure as hell didn't take ADVANTAGE of what you haven't earned.

Flash forward...oh gawd....almost 20 years. Did you know, in the state of Florida, you can pay for your wedding cake with EBT? (EBT=Food Stamps). No. Really. Please read that again. YOU CAN PAY FOR YOUR $1020 WEDDING CAKE WITH YOUR FUCKING FOOD STAMPS.

I work hard. I bust my ass. Ya'll know this. I almost kill myself daily just to do a damn good job. I see what Uncle Sam takes out of my checks. And it's no small amount. Yet, I have to smile, be generous, kind, and caring, to these women who (with a shopping cart full of crotchfruit) clarify that they can pay for their wedding cake WITH FOOD STAMPS.

*throws hands up* There's fuck all I can do about it, other than internally being pissed off that I've worked my lil ass off so this baby maker can have her dream wedding cake.....

*deflates and sits back on the couch* Okay....deep breaths....I love and miss ya. Everytime I come back I keep saying maybe I'll be sticking around, then I stay away for longer. Maybe not this time?

Thanks for reading.