michael1's Blog - page 12

a lot of people have took the time to tell others about them. there name. and alot of other things about them. i am always going to do it but always put it off thinking that it would take alot of time and mostly thought.so i am just going to start and finish in the next one; hi my name is michael. i live in fl. the tampabay area close to beaches and all the fl. stuff.i love people but not so much the city life. so i live out in the country half an hour or so from city life and beaches. its nice to set on your front or back porch and see nothing but nature and woods.i like to sleep as late as possible in the morning because i am a nite person so i have everything timed to get to work just at the right time. i got to work 5 minutes early yesterday and spend half an hour wondering what i forgot to do that morning. i love italian, mediterrian and seafood (suchi too) the most. i would rather cook than go out except for once a week. i hate to wait to eat when i go out .i hate straws except to stur things. i like most food .except the ones that start with the following: hot (not spicy or just needs to cool off.. just hot!! ) ,fried, or instant. i love music all kinds. i love to laugh. if a sad movie,show is on, or i read something sad i may cry ( ok prob.)i like to listen to people i do that well. ok all for how

Cat Rules
Bathrooms: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.
Doors: Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on your hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. Especially after you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
Chairs and Rugs: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so the mess is as long as a human's bare foot.
Hampering: If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping" otherwise known as "hampering". Here are the rules for hampering:
1) when supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
2) for book reading, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
3) for paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work as possible and pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen.
4) for people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards, keep in mind the aim: to hamper! First sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils and erasers off the table, one at a time.
5) when a human is holding the newspaper in front of them, be sure to jump at the back of the paper, preferably with a running start. Humans love surprises.
6) when a human is working at a computer, jump on the desk, walk across the keyboard, bat at the mouse pointer on screen, then lay on the human's lap across arms, hampering typing.
Walking: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help your human with their coordination skills.
Bedtime: Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.
Litter Box: When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.
Hiding: Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.
One last thought: Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often, and don't forget guests.
__________________

There was a man back in '95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him

Wait, what's the sense in life
Come over me, Come over me

He said,

Son why you got to sing that tune
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see... You will see


Then he said,

Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

Picked up my kid from school today

Did you learn anything cause in the world today
You can't live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me


He said,

Dad I'm big but we're smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all
Still every mother's child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me

And Hey Dad
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

I said,

Son for all I've told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world...
Who am I?

There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we're not wise enough to see

He said... You looking for a clue I Love You free...

The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel's eyes
A song plays on while the moon is hiding over me
Something comes over me

I guess we're big and I guess we're small
If you think about it man you know we got it all
Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely

Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music." As though there's any other way to take it in. You're not special. That's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.

I went to see a heavy metal band in New York...called Monster Magnet. Man, they were heavy, boy. The lead singer got on the monitor, and he said, "How many of you people feel like human beings tonight?" Then he said, "How many of you feel like animals?" And everyone cheered after the animals part. But the thing is, I cheered after the human being part because I did not know that there was a second part to the question. "Yes, I do feel like a human. I do not feel like a tree."

I used to play in a Death Metal band. People either loved us or they hated us... or they just thought we were "okay."
A Lot of Death Metal bands have intense names like Rigor Mortis or Mortuary or Obituary. We weren't that intense. We just went with "Injured." And later we changed it to "A Cappella"... as we were walkin' out of the pawn shop.

Some songs have a special meaning for a man in regards to a woman, but this can backfire because maybe the song had deeper meaning to begin with, but now it's been cheapened... "We are the world, we are the children, we are the ones who make a better life so let's keep on givin'." "Remember that song, baby? The night I fucked you in the pet cemetery?"

You know when you go to a concert like punk-rock and the kids get on stage and they jump into the crowd? People think that's dangerous, but not me... because humans are made of 95% water, so the audience is 5% away from a pool..............................learn more about mitch at www.hedburgh.com/index1.shtml

Advil has a candy coating. It's delicious. Then it says, right on the bottle, 'Do not have more than 2.' Well then do not put a candy coating around it, for I cannot help myself. Let me have 10 Advil. I got a sweet tooth.

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. "Dammit, Otto, you are an alcoholic." "Dammit, Otto, you have Lupus." One of those two doesn't sound right.

My manager told me, "Mitch, don't use alcohol as a crutch." I can't use alcohol as a crutch because a crutch is something that helps me walk. Alcohol severely fucks up the way I walk. It's more like the step I didn't see.

Last night my friend drank 26 bottles of O'Douls... He is a non-alcoholic.

If you drink O'Doul's, you're not drinking. But if you drink 20 O'Doul's in a half hour, you're a fuckin' non-alcoholic. Non-alcoholism is a problem, too; and there are symptoms, like when you fall down, it will always hurt.

Acid really messes with your mind, man. When I was on acid, I'd see things that looked like beams of light... and I'd hear things that sound an awful lot like car horns...

I like the FedEx driver because he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it. And he's always on time. I like my drugs to have a tracking number. Then when my friend says, "Mitchell, where's the drugs?" I just say, "Call the 1-800 number." Your drugs were loaded onto a van at 7:30 AM and will arrive on time. Perfect, that's what I paid for.

To do this show, I had to take a physical. They asked me a bunch of medical questions. And they were, like, yes or no questions, but they were very strangely worded. Like, "Have you ever tried sugar..... or PCP?"

I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.

I was in Ireland. I got to drink absinthe in Ireland. Absinthe is a liquor that they outlaw. It's supposed to make you trip hallucinogenically. So I got excited because I like to hallucinate. So I started drinking lots of shots of it. But really it's just a liquor, so really I was just getting fucked up. I wasn't even remotely tripping. After 10 shots, I fell to the ground. I was trying to force the trip. "Why is the floor as low as I can go?" I was just faking it, you know.

The club owner here, when he comes to town, he'll hook you up with drugs. He'll give you cocaine and pot brownies. But last time I was in town, he gave me a drug for Attention Deficit Disorder. Because he's afflicted. But I'm not. So what happened to me is suddenly I had an extra long attention span. People would be telling me a story, then the story would end and I would get all mad and shit. "Come on, man. There's got to be more to that story. I'm on pills here."

I think Visine is only used by potheads. Who else would use Visine? "I use Visine because I don't want people to know that I was swimming."

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

These lights are pretty bright, kinda makes me wanna grow weed again.
I was in a movie recently. I had a small cameo with Peter Frampton. We had to smoke fake pot in our scene. Do not buy pot on a movie set! But yeah, for this scene I got to smoke fake pot with Peter Frampton. That's a cool story. It's as cool as smokin' real pot with a guy who looks like Peter Frampton. And I done that waaaaaay more.

Acid was my favorite drug. Acid opened up my mind. Because of acid I now know that butter is way better than margerine. I saw through the bullshit.

I drink Orange Juice with Vodka. It's like Vitamin C that kicks your ass!

When we were on acid we would go into the woods; because when you were in the woods trippin' there was less likely a chance you'd run into an authority figure ... but we ran into a bear; that was even more of a buzz-kill. My friend Duayne was standing there raising his right hand swearing to help prevent forest fires. We got away from the bear, he put his arm around my shoulder and said to me "Mitchell, Smokey is way more intense in person."

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way



Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten