Oh, random NN guys, your ability to ask presumptuous things without reading a girl's profile is legendary!

"hey i'm in to. wanna hook up"

Why,no, I don't believe I DO want to hook up. Seeing as I have no idea who you are, specify that I won't even meet for a coffee, let alone letting some guy have a go at my vagina- AND you don't have a single photo uploaded.... sigh!!!

That aside, I'm on school break now and it's awesome! Definitely that time of year when everyone is wishing for spring, and a couple of days off is sorely needed! I hope all you fellow Ontarians (NN spellcheck is trying to tell me that isn't a word) enjoyed Family Day on Monday!

As for updates to do with my love life, no actual sex yet at my insistence - if this is going to be a real relationship, I kind of want to set it apart from all the casual sex I've had in the past. Though, I'm not really sure we click all that much in bed, to be honest. He seems inexperienced even though he claims he is not. I mean... isn't it standard knowledge that when a guy is sorta lying on top he's supposed to hold himself off the girl with his arms on either side, instead of squishing her? No? Also: what is with going down on a girl kinda halfway, then just going back to cuddling? It was....frustrating to say the least!! Anyways, we'll see what'll happen, but it's a shame that such a nice guy is ending up being a turn-off, possibly in part because I'm experienced enough to know what I like and don't like.

So!! Time will tell I've been frequenting NN a bit more lately in my sexual frustration, but sorry, still no pics. I'm pretty stressed out because of school and a bunch of other things, so I am hoping to just have time to sit and do absolutely nothing at all. At least I'm making the most of my membership, watching dirty NN videos!

Thanks for the advice in my previous blog
I've definitely talked to the boy about all kinds of things, and while I think it's still full of too much seriousness and worry instead of enjoyment, I'm giving it a shot, so we'll see what happens!

What's everyone doing for Valentine's Day? I haven't had to worry about it in a LONG time, but now I suspect something will be expected of me...hmmm......

I got sick early on in the week so this whole time I've been really under the weather, which sucks. It was really cold today and yesterday, and I've mostly been holing up at home drinking tea and soup and stuff (and forcing myself to go to class, how can I pass up on THAT?) Anyways, so fingers crossed I'm feeling better by this weekend! I won't be wearing any sexy lingerie for the bf, but kinda want to buy/wear some anyways I really miss feeling super sexy! Pics are in order but I feel uninspired, and my room is a total mess. I wish I had the money for some sort of amazingly hot corset or thigh-high stockings. I don't have nearly enough of those!! A V-day present to myself, perhaps!

So I do now technically have a boyfriend, but before you start congratulating me, things are all weird and unsure already! Just when you think things will figure themselves out, the boy goes and has to be the clingy one who wants to get married and give me sloppy kisses forever and ever. I'm trying to be a nice person and not freak out since we've been friends and all, but I don't care HOW long we've been friends- alluding to marriage or forever in the first few weeks of dating is kind of like dating suicide. Or sabotage. Or something unpleasant.

But besides all that, hopefully I can have some fun and get him to loosen the fuck up, instead of worrying about a future that's not even here yet! Ever talk to a person that couldn't enjoy the day cause they were busy worrying about all kinds of other days they had no control over? I'm going to try not to be that person ever again, now that I've realized how annoying it is Here's to living in the moment!

Also, in case you are wondering, I am being super chaste, and no clothes have come off yet!!! I have to be the Reasonable One (much to my chagrin) and hold him off so I don't crush his sensitive heart :/ Too bad my New Self finds it very hard to tolerate moping and other things. I can't believe how much I've changed in the past five years. I lost my virginity while tipsy in the back of an old car- on top mind you-and that was almost 6 years ago! Since then I've learned a great deal about what I want, not just with dating, but in life too! I'm really looking forward to this year

Happy February!!!!

So how is everyone enjoying the new year so far?
I didn't make any resolutions, since I know that's not very realistic, though I have resolved to do some great things around New Years that have changed my life in the past. Since about this past November I've started going to the gym, which I used to think I'd never be able to do. My goal is to really tone up, lose some inches around my waist, and generally look like a hot lingerie model so I can post lotsa pics Seeing as I've been feeling a little uninspired in that department.

School is picking up with a bang, I'm stressed already and not looking forward to when tests get added to the mix later in the semester! Any former students remember when you talk to your friends and family and they assume you must have loads of free time because you're a student? I feel busy constantly!!! Granted, some of it these past few months has been with actually having a social life, which I'm not used to, but I've definitely been drained with the pace of life these days. I'm hoping to slow things down a bit for my birthday (ugh, 26!!!) in February

As for other things, I think I might actually have a boyfriend soon. I know. Weird. It's been so long, three and a half years, since I had anything except very infrequent casual sex. I've been thinking I'm tired of the casual situations, but to be honest I'm now terrified of being committed and not having the freedom to be single. Who ever heard of the girl having the committment issues? Anyways, so I'm taking things really slow and being kinda stand-offish at the moment, even though he's ready to jump in with both feet, so to speak. Also wondering what to do in terms of my involvement on this site. I want this to stay private, since I know I wouldn't be as adventurous or free to be myself if I had to show this to someone I know. Not that I'm ashamed, it's just nice to be free from what kind of person you are in "real life". Anyone else decided not to share that they're on NN with a significant other??

Also, it's SNOWING here!!!! I'm so excited! I know in a couple of months I'll wish it goes away, but that first quiet snowfall at night when everything's all quiet- can't be beat!!! Now where's my hot chocolate??

It appears I'm becoming a blogger instead of a poster of photos. I'm sorry if I'm letting down people, but there's lots going on in life for me right now. Since people started messaging me asking what I'm up to, I figured I'd just post about stuff.

So, I'm just in the last couple of weeks of school, so I'm busy with tests and stuff. I've also joined a gym (good job me!) so hopefully I'll be getting in some serious shape in the next 6 months! I should take a "before" picture!! I'm trying to be dedicated, since I know it's time to start making good habits for the rest of my life, and I definitely won't have a fast metabolism forever!

I seem to all of a sudden have a very busy social life, which is good- I went out of my way to meet new people, and my plan worked! The downside of this is that all of a sudden I have much less time for myself, and my roommates being inconsiderate means I haven't been sleeping well for months. I feel pretty worn out, and I can't WAIT for the holidays! If only I could ask for a vibrator But then again, with the walls so thin in my shared apartment, I'd be found out pretty fast. Sigh!

I'm really looking forward to some R&R at home over the holidays. I really love Christmas, and it'll be so great to see my family for a long period of time again- since the troubles I had earlier this year, I've become a lot more mindful of how important family is. I've started thinking long-term for my life, and where I want to live or how I want to start up my career. Of course, nothing is set in stone, but I'm trying to be conscious of the remaining 60-70 years I'll be alive if all goes well. It's actually not that much time!

Despite the conveniences of a big city, I'm not really liking *living* in Toronto all that much, and the beginnings of winter don't have me any more optimistic. Maybe it's the roommates, and maybe it's the noise and the dirty air, or the homeless people that I feel bad for who then start cursing at me :/ I really loved living rural in Japan, but I know I couldn't do rural in Canada, since "rural Canada" usually means TONS of snow!!!! Oh well... still have another year and a half of school to keep me busy

No, not the band
I apologize for being a bit absent from NN these days. I've been going through some tough times emotionally, and dealing with a lot of new things, like moving to a new city, starting school, not sleeping well, etc. So, that's why I haven't really had the energy to take pics, or think much sexually. After all that excitement in Japan about coming back, sigh!! I appreciate the nice comments from everyone even though I don't have much to offer but talk. I prefer that you don't send "when are you posting new pics" e-mails, since it makes me feel like it's an obligation, instead of something that I really do for myself, to explore my sexuality and feel sexy I'm excited about the new lingerie I got, but only have that one measly picture to show for it! What a disgrace, I know.

Anyways, I guess this post isn't about anything in particular, is it?
School's going well, but busy and with early mornings. My social life is sorely lacking, since it appears I've drifted away from all the friends I had before, or they don't live in Toronto anymore. I am on the lookout for new girlfriends (not on NN though, and definitely no guys, don't need more complications!), and hopefully in the next couple of months I will sort myself out and get a little less weird, and have a few more friends

Also, apparently I look like Katherine Heigl. I've never gotten that before, but now that I'm back and lost a couple of pounds and got some blondish highlights, it seems all my new acquaintances think so. Very strange.

Okay, that's all Hope you're all enjoying the gorgeous fall weather before the cold sets in! I love watching leaves blow around in the air, or get trapped in corners in little whirlwinds, or get stuck in people's hair. It's great!!!

So, I joined cause I had extra time on a lazy Saturday morning, but probably not going to be too into it. Anyone else on there? Seems like too much work, between PMs on NN and more on Bangbook, and more friend requests with exactly the same people, or people trying to chat. How new is this thing?? I didn't hear about it until today!

Also, hope you like the lingerie pic, just a quick tidbit I don't have any more now, but we'll see >_< It's my 6-year anniversary on NN coming up, I feel like I should add at least another pic or two!

xoxo

Edit: Okay, so I didn't know it was invite only, but for those of you who are about to PM me, I am NOT going to waste my time sending out invites to all sorts of people, you'll have to bug someone else >_<

I had a very vivid dream that I had a threesome with a guy and a girl. I veeeery rarely have sex dreams, so I'm not sure exactly what my subconscious was trying to say, especially because I have had very little interest in mff threesomes and to my knowledge am not bisexual in the slightest!

I can only remember a little bit, where the guy wanted me to go down on the girl, which is something that kinda grosses me out, so in my dream I was a little squeamish and reluctant, but I went ahead and licked anyways She was the shy type, so he sat behind her on the bed and coaxed her to spread her legs, and kissed her neck while I slid down between her legs. She was mostly shaved and smooth, with tight pink labia. This must reflect my personal preference, since I envy girls with really tight-looking labia, and mine are more brown than pink- oh well! So.... I parted her lips wide and swiped my tongue up her- she was smooth and a little wet, though my dream didn't register any taste... just the sensation of licking a cunt. So there you have it. About the weirdest sex dream I've ever had O_O I can probably count the sex dreams I've had (or at least remember) on one hand, which is kind of unfortunate, because they it allows for imagination and reality to almost merge.

In other more mundane news, Toronto is good and school is great The Toronto International Film Festival kicked off last night, and I'm desperate to see a couple of films, but I left off buying stuff too late, so it's very likely all the ones I wanted to see are sold out anyways. In the past I've been REALLY into it and saw many films by myself over the course of the festival. I'd better eat in a few stylish restaurants and see if I catch a look at some stars

Hope you're all doing well My new room is messy yet bare at the moment, but once it gets a bit more organized and I'm not exhausted from starting school, I plan on taking some pics, so stay tuned! It may be a couple of weeks, but I'll try for sooner rather than later. I miss dressing up and feeling sexy, and now I have my hot shoe collection back, yay!!!

xoxo

I'm here. Living right downtown. This is gonna be awesome!!!