Okay, so before I was too busy apartment-hunting and being jetlagged and stuff to want sex, but now I've passed some kind of invisible line and now I want sex BAD. And now I'm back in Canada, so theoretically I can get it! What to do...

I really am kind of tired of having so many casual guys and no real boyfriend. It's been more than three years since I had a boyfriend, it's tragic! It's not like I'm a super-bitch or awkward or anything like that. I'm a 25-year-old fairly hot girl in the city. That should mean I should be getting attention from fairly hot guys, but instead I have nerds hitting on me who are my friends and who I'm really not interested in. Not like there's anything wrong with nerds, but I've kind of had it with dating people in my group of friends. How does one meet sane, hot guys?? And don't tell me NN I want to get to know and like the guy BEFORE he sees me naked, and have him like me the same way, instead of just wanting to fuck me. I'm tired of just being a girl someone can fuck. So we'll see!!! Imagine me all happy and dating... wow I almost can't picture it myself! But I want a husband and kids, I think, as mundane as that sounds. Especially now that my Grandma has died, I feel like I'm running out of time to have kids or get married and have my other Grandparents be around to see it. Also, why are there SO MANY WEDDING SHOWS on TV in Canada!?!?! Maybe it's just the channels I watch

Ok, I'm going now. And I'm moving this week, and have orientations for school, so I'm gonna be really busy. I'm so excited to have a new room to decorate!!! This week it'll just be the bare bones moving in, and I guess me and my stuff a little bit after that, but I want a nice plush comfy space... which will eventually be the new spot you'll be seeing me taking photos Woohoo!

xoxo

So finding an apartment in the city of Toronto is the most frustrating experience I think I've ever had. I've encountered all of the following:

-scams
-lecherous landlord
-dead cockroaches and other unidentified bugs
-refusing me because I don't have a job
-someone wanting to share a bedroom
-forgetting to tell me they found a tenant until I show up on their doorstep

There are a lot of inconsiderate people out there, and it's frustrating devoting day after day reading ads and calling and organizing to get into the city from the suburbs only to have people be rude or creepy etc!

I'm really hoping I find something soon, since school starts in just a few weeks!!
You'll have to forgive me for not posting pics right now, I'm one big giant ball of stress!!!!!

xoxoxoxo

Update: Got a shared apartment, yay!!!

I'm back in Canada!!!!!!!!!!

So.... less than two weeks before I'll be back in Canada. I can scarcely believe it! I feel like I was so much younger than when I first came here. I think I've grown as a person, even though I still suffer from bouts of awkwardness, uncertainty, and yes, self-image issues. I'm excited to see how my life will change in the next few months. With what happened with my Grandmother and all the changes in my life, I've been thinking a lot about life and death and "growing up" and what all of those things mean.

I apologize for being very philosophical of late instead of posting pics. You'll have to bear with me in this, I promise there will be more in the future, I just don't know when that is.

Anyways, my internet is being cut tonight, so this is the last you'll see of me for a little while. The next time I'll be posting, I'll be back in Canada! Until then...

xoxo

Tonight, I drove to the ocean and sat on the side of the road, listening to the sound of the waves breaking on the beach, and watching the ocean shimmer with the light of the half moon. It's so beautiful here, and hanging around there doing nothing but sit was really relaxing, and it makes me wonder why I never thought to do it before. Especially considering how stressed I've been lately. I guess because I'm feeling so nostalgic these days.

Anyways, it was nice.

xoxo

Thank you to everyone for your well wishes and condolences- there's not a lot of people to "take care of" me out here if something happens. I've been lucky to have one friend looking out for me at least, and of course all of you on NN! I think I'm still in shock, being so far away, since it feels like it couldn't possibly have happened. I am looking forward to spending time with my family.

I have just a month left until I fly back to Canada. I'm starting to pack up winter clothes and books to ship home, and clean up my apartment bit by bit. It seems unreal that I'll be leaving! This has been my first home apart from my parents' home- my very own apartment!!! I will be very sad to see it go. Of course saying goodbye to all the teachers and students and other people I've met over my time here is a long and emotional process. The combination of everything has left me tired and hoping for a break, but I just have to keep on trucking. Likely won't be posting photos, as a heads up, so please be patient with me.

Hope you're all having a good weekend.

xoxo

My grandma died

And I was so close to being home... Should have known things were too good to last.

I'm soooooo bored, but really it's because I'm procrastinating. I want to sneak away and go to a public bath or something to relax, but I need to be cleaning and making food and packing since I'm going away this weekend. It had better be awesome! So instead I'm sitting here munching on chocolate, no dinner made, nothing done that needs to get done, and now I've creeped onto NN to boot, so looks like soon my hand will be down my pants!

Sorry for the lack of photos yet again. I have less than 2 months left in Japan, so I am wildly trying to fill up my time with things to do and fill up my head with memories!!! Where does the time go, 2 whole years

xoxo

I just realized the other day that the number of views I've had on my blog is a crapload!!! I checked today, and here we are... 10 000 times I have had people check this place out to see what I may have to say, however uninteresting. Thanks to all of you who always leave nice or encouraging comments, even when I'm in a pissy mood I really appreciate it. I don't really blog anywhere else, and despite not listing the particulars of my life or location, I can talk about all the things that REALLY get to me here- the main ones being loneliness and horniness

I don't really have much in the way of sexy stories for you, but yesterday I shaved my legs niiiice and smooth, and also shaved all the way up to my bum, including those lips that some of you seem to argue should be alternately bare or hairy haha. I like 'em smooth, myself, I find myself sliding my fingers around down there more often. Yesterday I went commando in some shorts that are quite wide at the leg, so if I was sprawled out and someone happened to look over, they could see right up my legs to my nice shaving job It was airy down there, and I loved it. Makes me frisky, knowing how easily someone could glide their hand right up my leg and slide their fingers right into me. Mmmmm-Mmm


xoxoxoxoxo

So I sometimes post what underwear I'm wearing on a particular day, and thought you might wanna see for yourselves Here's what I was wearing today underneath my business outfit. Underneath the white camisole is just a lame beige bra, but I kinda like red panties

Edit: Hahaha, oops sorry about the stupid site tag on the photo, I didn't really know how else to upload a risque photo without having it as one of my official NN photos. The "freak hookup" has now been removed, thanks for the tip Wrigley!