POSITION : Mum, Mummy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities .
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updat ing your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that university will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Well tonight I have been trying to do some reading and other swotty stuff to catch up on everything I need to know for this accreditation thing I have to sit later this month. Nobody seems to know what I will be asked (at least nobody is talking about it)...All I know is that it can be anything that I supposed to know already! LMAO, that is quite a lot, but in the practical side of the job I do there really is only so much we have to know although I am sure that situations will arise when we need to know other stuff, but surely those situations are the time you learn that other stuff......

*sighhhhhhhh** Ohhh well.....


mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Yep well I suppose it has been a while, I really haven't had much to say lately, and I am a believer in when you have nothing to say - its probably better to say nothing!

Except tonight, I seem to be taking a break from it!

We got back from our hols last week and what can I say except - stress, money, more stress and even more money.....but apart from that it was very good. Well except from the 7+half hour drive home at the end of it, but I suppose that comes under the stress I mentioned before (yep, I was the driver!!)

My job is going wonderfully.......You really have to LURVVVEEEEEEE all the hours you can get to work during the school holidays and I really am developing a very healthy attitude to work again when it compares to being a "housewifey/motherey" captive type during the holidays!! (LOL...not that there is anything wrong with that if that is what your sanity can handle.........GUESS WHERE I FIT/OR DON'T FIT....IN THAT CATEGORY???)

Anyway, I have my first job accreditation on the 23rd of the month and if I pass I can look forward to a pay-rise so fingers crossed there.




And apart from that.......HEYYYYYYYYYY ALL.....missing you all....xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I have been putting the brave face on things but I think I'm starting to crack now!

ITS T IN THE PARK WEEKEND.........ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Guess who aint going this year....for the first time in about as long as I can remember!!

To be honest it really didn't bother me that much, up till yesterday when neary everybody I spoke to asked me if I was going again. I really was okay till about 20 people had asked me and now I'm just plain pissed and insanely jealous of everybody who is going.

I am trying to be good and save money for our hols in two weeks time but I gotta tell ya this weekend ain't gonna be easy. I mean, okay its now Saturday so I can forget about today but tomorrow MY band is headlining and I don't know if I will be able to get through knowing they are there and I'm not....

A taster of what I'm gonna miss (

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmK6IEDnvAk[/url]

Pig Personality Profile


Purpose: Participants get to know themselves in a fun way.


A. Have everyone draw a picture of a pig on a clean sheet of paper.


B. After everyone has finished drawing their pig, tell them they can interpret themselves in the following way:
 
 
DRAW THE PICTURE FIRST
 
 
THEN SCROLL DOWN
 
 
Otherwise
 
 
you're gonna screw it up.





 



 
Draw it first.






 
 







1. If the pig is drawn on the top portion of the page you are optimistic and very positive.
2. If the pig is drawn in the middle of the page you are realistic and factual.
3. If the pig is drawn toward the bottom of the page, you are pessimistic or tend to have a negative outlook.
4. If the pig is facing left, you are traditional, friendly and remember birthdays and dates.
5. If the pig is facing right, you are innovative, action-oriented, not family or date oriented.
6. If the pig is facing straight ahead, you are direct, like to play devil's advocate and don't avoid issues.
7. If the pig is very detailed, you are analytical, cautious, suspicious.
8. If the pig has little detail, you are emotional, bored by detail, naive, and a risk taker.
9. If the pig has four feet, you are secure, stubborn, and have firm beliefs.
10. If the pig has less than four feet, you are insecure or going through major changes in life.
11. The larger the pig's ears the better listener you are.
12. And last, but not least the longer the pig's tail the better your sex life.





And why Thanks Mum?

Well this is an e-mail i got from my mum, I started reading it with the kids hanging around and since it looked innocent enough as far as I had read I kinda let them join in it with me and got them to draw the li'l piggy too!!

All was going really well till I got to number 12....when I tried to give them the "okay that's it finished" line...

Obviously they didn't believe me - then I had to try to explain diplopatically what it meant and why my pig had the tail that ran off the page!!

**learning lessons in life every day....I.E. - never trust mother!**

Thats one of my kids just home and the other will be in in about half an hour......Its the start of the summer hols, although there ain't been much summer around here so far!

I wonder how long it will be before I go nuts (in the cuckoo version of the word!)

It is 3 weeks before we go away on holiday, so I have to try and save every penny just now too....not easy to do with 2 kids at home moaning about how bored they are...

I think I may beg my manager for as many shifts as poss, and not for the money, just for the peace and quiet!

Do you remember my blog over a year ago when I had my car crash? The silly cow jumped a red light and ploughed right into my car - I am still waiting on my insurance money for that and its now looking pretty certain that it will go to court...(I certainly hope so anyway!!)

Well last night my daughter had a dancing show on and since I dont have a car right now my mum had to do the driving in her car.

This woman has her daughter in the same class as my daughter so she was there too. So on the way home we were driving along quite innocently when this car came flying out of a junction, nearly ploughing right into us. My mum had to swerve and slam the brakes on.

I honestly couldn't believe my eyes when I saw who the driver was!!!!

I'm beginning to think somebody has paid this woman to kill me!!

take care, and stay away from me!....willow....xxx (in disguise!)

Its been a strange weekend overall, we went to the pub on Saturday and after comparing the guy sitting over the bar and the picture in a local paper, with a lot of people passing the newspaper backwards and forwards, lots of whispering and debating we all came to the conclusion that yup this was the guy!!

We only had a convicted paedo sitting in the same bar as us FFS!!! Needless to say he was asked to leave (by my b/f) and not too long afterwards was escorted out of town by the police.

It is fucking scary to think how close to home this one was......And where was he housed?? About 10 yards from a play-park and not 300 metres from a primary school...(MY daughters school)

I know that something has to be done with these animals and they have to live somewhere but who the hell decided that where they put him was a GOOD IDEA, I don't have a clue....I just hope that where-ever he is now they have the a bit more sense than they did last time!!

**fuming but rant over for the moment!!**

The last 10 days have been different without the internet, but in a strange way I kinda enjoyed the break from it all. There were a few times when I wanted to be online but to be honest I didn't miss the melodramatics that had been going on around here. It does seem things have calmed down again, so maybe my offline time was timed really well for taking a break from NN.

Anyway, my new job is going really, really well. I am now enjoying the job, the atmosphere in the office is totally alien to how it was before and I am shocked at how many people have now said to me how much they didn't like that "girl" (a very good description for an immature little bitch really). Even my manageress has said that although she has worked with her for years and as a friend she was okay - the last few months she was working with her were hell.

Hmmmm, what else??? Well its nearly summer hols for the kids.....AAAAHHHHHHH!!!

I'm still madly in love and things are going wonderfully there!

And thats about all I can think of saying right now, although I'm sure there is plenty more I will think of once I hit the button....

Okay, so I'm back...tell me What did I miss????