Profile of mortadella5553

mortadella5553

Nice guy- always held me back but I'm OK with that. I remember my sisters and their friends saying about guys "He's too nice" WTF! That was always me. As you get older that turns out to be OK, doesn't it? (not always) lol. Anyway you have to live with yourself first.

64 years old
Male
Joined 17 years ago
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mortadella5553's Blog

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Saturday, December 22, 2007, 7:14:02 PM- are guns bad?

TOP TEN REASONS GUYS PREFER GUNS OVER GIRLS:

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. < SPAN style="COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'">Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. Guns don't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....

#1. You can buy a silencer for a gun.

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Most Recent Comment:
"Been keeping my gun in it's holster, safe from all you PERVS!!!!!! LMAO"- mortadella5553

Saturday, December 22, 2007, 8:27:14 AM- Sweeney Todd movie

Johnny Depp - good as always, So bloody I had to close my eyes a dozen times. I am such a PUSSY!

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Most Recent Comment:
"I can't watch anything scary... been that way since I was a kid. Besides, you play with fire all day; you're no p*ssy. :p"- mdguy

Saturday, December 22, 2007, 5:46:00 AM- WHY since everybody is into why these days-

did i go to Fresh Choice for dinner?

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Most Recent Comment:
"Must be a NorCal thing... hmmm."- mdguy

Friday, December 21, 2007, 2:48:41 AM- Sadly funny

Marvin and Tony are sitting in a bar when the first one says, "Ya know, when I was thirty and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it, even using both hands. By the time I was forty, I could bend it about ten degrees if I tried really hard. By the time I was fifty, I could bend it about twenty degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be seventy soon and now I can bend it in half with just one hand."

"So," Tony says, "what's your point?"

“Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

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Most Recent Comment:
"ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"- imalilhothead

Friday, December 21, 2007, 12:13:51 AM- Circ du Soliel

I saw Circ for the 4th time last nite--"Kooza" is the latest. It was OK but the other 3 were all better. The seats were so narrow, the woman sitting next to me demanded a paternity test when the show was over! LOL. A bottle of water was $3.69! Is that gouging or what! Got soaked on the way back to the car, then the on ramps for the bridge were closed, instead of 3 minutes it took 20 just to get on the bridge. On the little one incident, the Mom of the girl isn't angry, thats good, but the little guy had to sit in the principals office for 2 hours, i guess to let him think (about how much fun it was to get his hands down a girls pants?) Remember they are only 6 hold the card and letters please, I know he should NOT act like this......... until at least 14. OK, 18- whatever lol

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Most Recent Comment:
"Well I am glad he didn't get a death sentence...lol I saw Cirq many years ago...and amazxing group of performers!"- tight_wet_lips

Thursday, December 20, 2007, 12:00:01 AM- vacation

I forgot to say--- on vacation till Jan 3 YAHOOOOOOOOOO!

UPDATE!!! The little one has a reason for his hand incident. She was talking during the pledge of alliegence- he was trying to get her to stop. Thats his story and he's sticking to it! (As if you could stop a woman from talking anyway!) LOL So much to learn.

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Most Recent Comment:
"I know it will be hard for the first one- I'll email or pm you my number if you need to talk or want to get together for coffee or cider. Hugs honey XXX"- PerkyGirl

Wednesday, December 19, 2007, 10:28:57 PM- phone call from school

My 6 year old grandson got in trouble at school today. For sticking his hand down the pants of a 6 year old girl! If he was my blood I would say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Was I bad to laugh and say "GO DOOOD!" to myself when I heard this AWFUL news?
LOL (but only if it is OK to laugh at this)

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Most Recent Comment:
"I hope they leave the discipline to you and the education to them. I did far worse as a kid, and was allowed to apologise, know why it wasn't exactly right, and not be labelled 'anything'. These days everyone is on eggshells. Walk gingerly, bud. <And I'm so giggling here.> :)"- mdguy

Wednesday, December 19, 2007, 10:24:20 PM- I did a bad thing

I am so embarassed

I am ashamed of myself

I am afraid to admit what I did

But I must clear my conscience.

I watched "the biggist Losser" on TV last night!

BWHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

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Most Recent Comment:
"couples biggest loser starts jan 1st! LOL I only caught the last 5 min of the show last night- didn't see any of this season"- PerkyGirl

Wednesday, December 19, 2007, 2:13:21 AM- talk

needed some- I'll cook dinner instead. Can anyone guess how much a Check Engine light might cost?

$900.00 holy shit- at least it passed smog, my new tags will come- no more getting "LIT UP" , that makes your heart race, not in a good way.

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Most Recent Comment:
"Damn, my "check engine light" was just the fact that I didnt have my fuel cap on properly. Cost me 25.00."- mont26

Tuesday, December 18, 2007, 7:05:04 PM- More sadness

Just got a call from an old family friend. He worked with my day many years ago, and lived about a mile aeay from him. When Dad's Alzheimers got too bad and we took his car keys, Bill was there. He took my Dad to retirement functions (when I couldn't) called him, visited him- was a good friend. I visit with him, NOT enough. He told me his wife died in Sept. Cancer. 3 operations- she was a trooper and sweet as the day is long. I missed the obit, I guess as I get older i'll have to watch closer. His daughter, who I didn't know also died. I had to go sit in the dark for a while, I'm in tears again typing this. An old neighbor from my childhood home died last month, 92 years old. Is thhis what life becomes?

sorry folks- I'll be happy agian soon
Mort
ps call your friends- parents- kids NOW

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Most Recent Comment:
"So much to handle at this time. I'm very sorry to hear this. :("- mdguy

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