LostPrincess
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- 44 years old
- Female
- Joined 17 years ago
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LostPrincess's Blog
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Friday, May 18, 2007, 12:29:25 AM- | ||
This is a song I found on the internet..I had to take out a few words and change a few but I am sure you get the picture... DRYING MY TEARS...TIME TO LET YOU GO!! They lyrics saids "Dry your tears" but I changed it to "Drying my tears" cause we both know I am the one that was always crying not you cause you couldn't care less!!! I have been ok this week since I realized you lied lied lied. I am done taking the blame and blaming myself..There was no reason not to call when you were here ONLY REASON THERE WAS IS THAT YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR LOVE FOR ME AND WANTING ME FOREVER.. In the brightest hour Of my darkest day I realized What is wrong with me Can't get over you Can't get through to you It's been a helter-skelter, romance from the start Take these memories That are haunting me You'll never forgive me... You'll never forgive me... Because days! Come and go! But my feelings for you are forever Because days come and go But my feelings for you are forever Sitting by the fire On a lonely night Hanging over from another good time You should listen to this story of a life You're my heroin- In this moment I'm lonely fullfilling my darkest dreams I'm never forgiving... this broken heart of mine Because days! Come and go! But my feelings for you are forever Because days come and go But my feelings for you are forever One last kiss... Before I go... Drying my tears... It is time to let you go... One last kiss(One last kiss) Before I go(Before I go) Drying my tears(Drying my tears) It is time to let you go... Because days! Come and go! But my feelings for you are forever Because days come and go But my feelings for you are forever One last kiss(One last kiss) Before I go(Before I go) Drying my tears(Drying my tears) It is time to let you go... One last kiss... Before I go... Drying my tears... It is time to let you go... One Last Kiss. | ||
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Wednesday, May 16, 2007, 1:11:16 AM- Just to get it out of my SYSTEM!!! | ||||||
to those that have read this and gave me some encouragement THANK YOU!! I know this is not the best blog but it helps me cope..AND now to YOU..I talked about how you do not care who you hurt and lying to hurt someone YOU did just that!! you purposely went out of your way to hurt me..why bother telling me you were coming here. I know why to HURT me.YOU said something when we talked last knowing I would get pissed off and say "I got to go now Bye" then YEA i did try to call you back that day and you were not in just ur voice mail came on then when I tried again that day thats when ur "i will be out of the office till may 18th came on" so b/4 u changed ur v-mail u saw that I called!! You got me mad so you can use it that OH u hung up on me so I figured you didnt want to see me or for me to call or u will say OH i wa mad cause u hung up on me..IT will always be something...YOU know for a fact u being here so close and not a call would HURT me more then ever and you choose just that so as I a saying u go out of ur way to hurt me!! I remember everthing you told me maybe not exact words but I remember..OH i dont love her I cant stand to kiss her i cant stand to make love to her ITS SO BORING!! Damn was I that fukin stupid to believe that shit...YEA i was cause I was in love with you..she doesnt make me happy I look at her and wish it was you baby..I want you forever baby not her!! she can never make me happy like u do..blah blah blah...she does nothing for me hahhaa..I feel so stupid knowing I fell for that!!LIES LIES LIES LIES..BEFORE ANYONE SAIDS IT I WILL SAY IT FIRST..I AM A STUPID COMPLETE FOOL FOR BELIEVING!!!! i honestly thought you were in love with me..my eyes are open now..I did alot of crying over you and I am done..I think I cry more because I let u hurt me over n over..I cry because I cant stand how I believe you..well NO MORE!! you can go have ur boring kisses sex fun whatever else BS u told me..TRUST me I remember all the shit u told me about her..LOTS LOTS LOTS..but u have to live with that not me..U bad mouthed her to no end...i hurt u in the past a u did me BUT U went out of your way to hurt me..I will continue to write till its all out of my system!!! | ||||||
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007, 6:11:41 PM- | ||||||
I should have listen to everyone when they told me I need to get you out of my life, but I guess I had to find out the hard way and maybe I needed to. I know now that you are a liar and you do not care who you hurt as long as you get what you want and all this time you blamed me for everything from our rise to fall. while she was gone you had me to talk to to BS with, and now the day she is back I am forgotten. I am not even gonna question how much she knows cause I can honeslty say NOTHING. All i did was love you YES i made mistakes but I never lied to you. I might have did things not thinking BUT I never went out of my way to LIE to you!!! YOU HAD NO INTENTIONS ON SEEING ME.. you said it to HURT ME to say look I am near you HAHAHA and not see you. I am not going to call you or go to the site either..fuck it all!!!!!!!!!! MY HEART IS CLOSED!!! YOU did it YOU got what you want..I am DEAD to you!!!!!!!!! Good Fuckin' Bye!! | ||||||
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Monday, May 14, 2007, 8:58:25 PM- | ||||||
WELL!! Lets see you are here and you didn't call me OH i see cause I sort of hung up after you made your little comment Friday...FINE whatever!!! You being here and not calling me PROVES your love for me THERE ISNT ANY!! even if I didn't plan on seeing you, you still could have called..Dont bother know..YOU got what you wanted I am out of your life..I am not even mad I am hurt..Keep your I love you miss you and all those other lies..I dont need them!! There is no excuse for what you did!!! I keep letting you back in but this time no more..HAVE FUN!! GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!! | ||||||
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Saturday, May 12, 2007, 1:49:11 PM- | ||
I can't believe you are here in the same state I REALLY feel lost now. I want to see you so bad to be with you again but I know I CAN'T!!! How do I see you and know it will be the last time again maybe for years or forever. If I saw you and when you leave all i will do is cry cry cry just like the very first time you left but the problem is I still cry over that. If i saw you all I would want to do is hug you so you wouldnt leave. OK i would also want to kiss you touch you make love to you. Rememeber how we use to be? I would give life to be like that again. You are so gorgeous so sexy so hot and so not mine!! As I said I am happy you wanted to see me but i would not be able to handle it. If you can tell me how to let the man you are in love with go again then I might be able to see you..I know this sounds confusing but it goes to show how confused I am.. I hope you are having fun while you are here, I know I am not on your mind I know you are not thinking about me. I can even say I know you are not in love with me anymore, Yes you problably love me but I believe its more of a little friendship love thats why you can see me and leave and continue to go on with your life I wish I was as strong as you but I am not.. I love you will forever, you dont realize you have no clue..Maybe one day you will..be good be safe be happy!! | ||
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Friday, May 11, 2007, 1:11:15 AM- | ||
when we talked last I said that you never came back to see me after you left, you said you invited me there for a weekend or something yea thats true, did I take you seriously yes and no, Now you tell me today that you will be here Mon and Tues and you can maybe see me for an hour or so and sure I got an attitude and you said to me "nothing is ever good enough for me" I havent see ya in 1 1/2 yrs and you are inlove with me so much and miss me and I get maybe an hour!! Plus you arent here to see me you arent making this trip for me ..we both know why you will be here and after I HUNG up I did try to call you back and you will be gone and returning to work on May 21st..wow over a week here and I get 1 hour.. I saw ur how do you say sorry thing you wrote..Its easy to say sorry JUST MEAN IT!! I guess she will be going back with you..I am sorry I dont want to be a last fling to you a one last time forever..your choice is clear so there is no reason to see me but thanks for wanting to. If only you knew!!!! Have a great time here!! so close but a world away!! my heart is broken my love is true for you and I am here!! take care be happy with your decision cause its forever!! | ||
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Tuesday, May 8, 2007, 11:20:50 PM- | ||
Ok so we talked today I didnt expect you to call i figured after u left the v-mail and I didnt call you back I assumed you wouldnt call anymore., I am glad u did call I do miss talking to you but at the same time I am not sure what we r doing. Its so obvious we will never be together again or even see eachother again. it hurts me that u think I am with someone else..I havent been with anyone since you..i am not looking nor do I want anyone else..I found the one I am in love with and wanted to spend my life with, its a shame you didnt want that with me. so being with someone else would be fake, my heart ,love n feelings wouldnt be there.Its a shame also that you have no clue how I feel about you, yes I told you I was in love with you and all that but You still have no clue..MY feelings are so real. I wasnt with you and then its over and all that I felt is gone..I told you ITS FOREVER..I can't picture my life not loving you and it hurts me that we cant get along even as friends. there are so many things I see and hear and I am reminded of you. my heart is still so torn up but I also know I must move along I got to keep living life even if your not in it and I am trying its just so damn hard!! It hits me hard when I lay in bed at night and I can feel u next to me feel ur breathe on my body feel your touch I close my eyes and I can see us how we use to be. I relive conversations we had or things we did. i remember the first time we met our first kiss .. i guess i feel too hard in love to deep..i never thought love can hurt so bad..never knew a broken hurt till we ended..i just really miss you so much..I know I am having a weak moment right now..I prayed u would come back to me I was hoping for a fairy tail ending. I got live with what is real...we r done you dont want me like that and I have to accept it.. yes i know you do love me but not like I love you I am in love with you and only you. you are not like that with me. thanks for the call today. | ||
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Monday, May 7, 2007, 9:53:29 PM- | ||
As I said I have a feeling you come here and you read all that I wrote, so if you do I did get your message you left me at work this morning on my v-mail. I did want to call you back I did pick up my phone a few dozen times but I hung it right back up for a reason, YOU told me you can't do this anymore YOU told me you can't talk then not talk then talk and so on and so BASICALLY from what it sounds like is you were done talking to me SO i haven't called you in almost 2 weeks. I know if I called you the conversation would have been HEY I got ur message and wanted to say thank you. YOU would have said no need to thank me and I would of said Ok and nothing else would be said and I would say I will let you go and You would say ok Bye. I also got ur other call wednesday of last week I think..It was pretty early 7:30 or something and it was just a hang up on my V-mail. I was gonna call and ask if it was you but you would have said it wasnt you like so many other times. Plus in the past you admitted to doing that so I call back. So anyway I am not sure if you wanted me to call back or just wanted to leave the message. I am doing what you want and its leaving you alone..NO it hasnt been easy But it hurts more when I call and there is nothing to say between us, its like we never existed. I am sorry I am not what you want in life I am ME and will always be, I dont pretend to be something I am not. YES I made mistakes yes I hurt you, but I wasnt in this relationship alone, I will not ask for forgiveness anymore I punished myself enough. I do have feelings also I do have a heart that you broke tore out and threw away..SEE how I see it we both found out how much I meant to you!! Dont say what I did ruined it cause I remember you saying to me you were ending it with me anyway!! As I said I take what happen form the rise to the fall as a learning lesson and I am and did become a better person. I am done hating myself, blaming myself IN FACT I forgive myself 100% and more. I have flaws I admit to them I am not perfect never claim to be..remember I AM JUST ME!!! | ||
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Sunday, May 6, 2007, 2:26:36 PM- | ||
I have a feeling you know I come here and you read all i wrote and thats ok I dont care cause everything I said is either how I feel or the truth. well its been 1 1/2 weeks since we talked and I am ok with it, I guess because as I said when u told me you cant do this anymore I knew it was for real so I have no choice but to be ok, but also as you said to me "I guess not talking doesn't hurt you" I can say the same to you. one day I will delete all this also. alot of things you say to me hurt me and thats ok I can deal with it now. i probably said this already in the blog but you always make comments that you can't call because you do not have my cell since I got it changed well I dont have yours either so why should I give you mine? i have your work # and you have mine!! there were always restrictions on our relationship on your part and i NEVER gave you restrictions.. I never put you 2nd but yet I was 2nd. I am better than that I refuse to be 2nd to nobody (not talking kids cause they always come first) I am talking relationship wise. all i ever wanted was to love you make you happy forever and live life with you. I hope you are happy LIVING LIFE and LIVING out all you fantasies and we both know what they are or at least I know what a few are. from what you told me life with her is boring dull and with me I showed you LIFE how to have fun, all we did I did with you because I was in love with you and when you are in love you want to make that person happy. I enjoyed doing all we did and I would have done anything for you expect I dont believe in sharing the one you love with anyone else. I guess we dont have to worry about that or anything else now since we arent even talking. I dont regret what we had or what we did. I take it as a learning experience. I wish you all the best in life and be happy dont worry or think about me anymore. I am nothing to you!! Thank You!!!! | ||
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Tuesday, May 1, 2007, 1:23:05 AM- | ||
its been a few days and we haven't talked and it feels different this time, I guess I know its for good (cause u made it clear u were done) and there is nothing I can do about it, Like I said to you already the day you say it I know its real. I do miss talking to you I miss your sweet sexy voice but I am dealing. I picked up my phone a few times OK alot of times wanting to call then I hang it up I will not fall again and I got to remember that. I told you one day we will end and if this isnt the time yet then its sure to come soon. everytime I hear a certain song I think about you us our love and what will not be. I will not call you or make any contact with you as u wish I will leave you alone. i been going on loving you and not seeing you for 1 1/2 yrs so far..might not seem that long to you but from someone who stopped breathing when we had to say g'nite to eachother this feels like eternity!! I know I have no choice but to move on BUT HOW!!! Its kind of hard when you are in my thoughts 24-7. I love you I 100% and more do. writing this even tho you will not see it helps me at times. hope you are having a great nite and life. shadows fill an empty heart as love is fading, from all the things that we are but are not saying. can we see beyond the scars and make it to the dawn? change the colors of the sky. and open up to the ways you made me feel alive, the ways i loved you. for all the things that never died, to make it through the night, love will find you. what about now? what about today? what if you're making me all that i was meant to be? what if our love never went away? what if it's lost behind words we could never find? baby, before it's too late, what about now? the sun is breaking in your eyes to start a new day. this broken heart can still survive with a touch of your grace. shadows fade into the light. i am by your side, where love will find you. what about now? what about today? what if you're making me all that i was meant to be? what if our love, it never went away? what if it's lost behind words we could never find? baby, before it's too late, what about now? now that we're here, now that we've come this far, just hold on. there is nothing to fear, for i am right beside you. for all my life, i am yours. what about now? what about today? what if you're making me all that i was meant to be? what if our love never went away? what if it's lost behind words we could never find? what about now? what about today? what if you're making me all that i was meant to be? what if our love never went away? what if it's lost behind words we could never find? baby, before it's too late, baby, before it's too late, baby, before it's too late, what about now? | ||
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