LostPrincess
Gift PremiumJust here to take up space
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- 44 years old
- Female
- Joined 17 years ago
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LostPrincess's Blog
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Thursday, March 22, 2007, 1:34:27 AM- JUST A THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!! | ||
I want to say Thank you to those that left comments. I do read them and I truly appreciate them. I know I sound confused and messed up and to be frankly honest I am. I am not sure why anyone would want to read a pathetic blog as mine, but I do not have anyone I can tell all this to and I need to get it out. Once again A BIG THANK YOU for the encouraging words and Hugs also a THANK YOU for those that just come here to read it. | ||
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Wednesday, March 21, 2007, 10:51:23 AM- From You !!! | ||
Had to save this, Thank you for it. Its BEAUTIFUL but you could have had that wish anytime you wanted BRFORE you said what you said!! If I could have just one wish, I would wish to wake up everyday to the sound of your breath on my neck, the warmth of your lips on my cheek, the touch of your fingers on my skin, and the feel of your heart beating with mine... Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you. | ||
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Wednesday, March 21, 2007, 1:40:04 AM- Happiness is GONE!! | ||||||
Well today our talking didn't go to well, but at least I FINALLY got an answer. Now I can really move on. I don't have to go on hoping one day anymore. You love me so much but have so many reasons why we can't be together and thats ok, Cause I don't find reason why we can't be together never had I only find reasons we should and the biggest reason is that you are so in love with me, RIGHT? thats what you say. You might not hear what you say to me but I do, and what you said tonight HURT more than anything and you know what it is. You say things to me but look at yourself before you say it. lets see Yea you said to me that I will have a baby with someone I don't love, but I can't have kids and to throw that in my face HURT more than being stabbed with a knife 1000 times over, but you want kids and I can't blame you for that so I guess you will have children with "HER" someone you tell me you DO NOT LOVE!! I haven't stopped crying since we talked today all I keep thinking is how much of a woman I must not be not to be able to have any more children and for someone to not want me cause of that also. I can't fix that wish I can but can't. You are not a woman you have no clue how it feels to hear that, But thank you for reminding me that I am not whole that I am not worthy. You didn't say it but its how you made me feel. I guess I am stupid to believe love is the strongest thing. If 2 people really love eachother they can over come anything. I am not mad at you I told you that..I am very hurt deeply hurt. with all that was say today I do love you. I can't change that either. I really do know we are over. I am broken I can't be fixed, sorry I cant give you what you want. Guess love, happiness, fun times, togetherness, caring, romantic, partnership isn't what you want or at least not from me. Stay where you are and who you are with. Stop pretending you aren't happy. I can be your friend but you got to stop telling me you love me and all that. One day we will stop talking and get past all this. ONE DAY!! I am not looking for anyone I don't want anyone. As I said to you if I can't give that person 100% of me ,my love and life its not fair to HIM. Its not right to get someone involved in my life I dont play those games. I rather be where I am then be someehere else messing someones life up. Lets see I meet a guy "OH and by the way I am in love with someone else who I will never be with and he has my love my heart and we talk and tell eachother how much we love one another so sorry I can't give my love or heart to you", but hey we can still be together. HMMM if I was that guy I say BYE and run FAST!! anyway thats all today. I didn't even say all I wanted. | ||||||
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Tuesday, March 20, 2007, 2:05:26 AM- Well I am lost AGAIN!! | ||||||
I am so happy we spoke and didn't argue. I miss that miss talking. If you only knew how much I love you and miss you and us, but I can't tell you all this not like I want to. I cried after we hung up cause it brings back all the memories we had. I can't let myself fall for you. I want to tell you to come here and read this but I don't dare tell you. I am strong but I know I seem weak now, When you called me BABY today, my heart stopped. You do not know how I wish for us to be together. My life is falling apart I have no one to talk to expect this blog. I will live my life to the full, No regrets. I am all about making me happy. I know you are happy and I want you to be. I will forever live my life loving you and going on without you. Sorry I am having a little weak momemt!!! | ||||||
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Monday, March 12, 2007, 6:04:44 PM- I don't care!!! | ||
I have a feeling you know I am here and I have a feeling you do come here to read this and come in the chat room to spy on me and I DON'T care just do not bother me. Anyway this isn't the name I use in the chat room and YOU will never find out what name or names I use. I am tired of running tired of the BS. BABY you got what you want as I said on here on this blog and to you more times than I can count. The last time we spoke you said to me why shouldn't we tell eachother how we feel and say it. I asked you why and do you remember you response? cause I do!! YOU told me why go thru life holding it in LMAO what a joke. I can tell you why go thru life and hold it in CAUSE SAYING I LOVE YOU GOT ME NO WHERE!!! OH I am sorry it got me somewhere it got me HURT N BROKEN and that WILL NEVER happen again not in this life time. You think by saying all the love you, miss you,care for you and all that HELPS!! GO say it to HER!! You tell me I do not know what you are going thru LMAO I do know YOU are exactly where you want to be and always wanted to be. I am sorry if your sex life with her is boring and she doesn't turn you on OR is that another BS lie you told me. YEA it probably is!! I just want to know WHAT wasn't a lie!! IF you love someone really love someone you dont let them go..YOU let me go!! I don't care about the reasons the excuses the whatever shit. I can't say it enough you THREW me away!! before you put blame and do all that you do..PLEASE take a look at yourself. I am human I made mistakes and will problably make more in life I am HUMAN what are you? As I said I will take 100% blame cause I am tired of the shit. YES you are perfect, wish I can go thru life and NOT make one single mistake like you do WOW must be nice!! | ||
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Wednesday, February 28, 2007, 11:19:01 PM- First of ALL!!! | ||||||
I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR READING MY STUPID PATHETIC LIFE BLOG WHEN I DID THIS BLOG IT WAS JUST TO GET MY FEELINGS OUT SO I CAN MOVE ON AND I REALLY DIDN'T EXPECT ANYONE TO READ IT. I KNOW ITS BORING BUT IT HELPS ME.. Now to you and yes one day I am going to tell you I come here so you can see this and you can see how messed up our relationship got me. Here we go again with the I love you YES i said it I had the right to say it YOU DON'T and you ask me why? maybe not a good reason but its my reason. YOU THREW me away REMEMBER I wasn't the one that ended it Ok i know what I did helped end it BUT what did you expect me to do!!! I felt I was being played and when push came to shove you bolted. You know I wanted a life with you I wanted forever with you and claim SEE WORD CLAIM to want it. I was ready. I got tired of all the excuses and the blame all the whatever. I just need to know why can't we both walk away, we tried so many times. we both know its over for goood why the hell we holdong on. I lost all hope n faith that we be together but yet I still talk to you. Guess I will not be able to walk away from you forever, but at least I am over being hopeful so thats good. where is my lifef going?? hell I have no clue but I am going to have a great time while finding out. I got my heart full of love, i am full of life..I am going to LIVE finally I am going to GET what I want NO MATTER what!!!! | ||||||
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Wednesday, February 28, 2007, 2:25:09 AM- Ring A Bell!! | ||
This time, this place Misused, mistakes Too long, too late Who was I to make you wait Just one chance Just one breath Just in case there's just one left 'Cause you know, you know, you know That I love you I have loved you all along And I miss you Been far away for far too long I keep dreaming you’ll be with me and you'll never go Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore On my knees, I'll ask Last chance for one last dance 'Cause with you, I’d withstand All of hell to hold your hand I'd give it all I'd give for us Give anything but I won’t give up 'Cause you know, you know, you know That I love you I have loved you all along And I miss you Been far away for far too long I keep dreaming you'll be with me And you’ll never go Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore So far away Been far away for far too long So far away Been far away for far too long But you know, you know, you know I wanted I wanted you to stay 'Cause I needed I need to hear you say That I love you I have loved you all along And I forgive you For being away for far too long So keep breathing 'Cause I’m not leaving Hold on to me And never let me go | ||
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Tuesday, February 27, 2007, 2:57:47 AM- Guess this is FINALLY IT!! | ||
well after out talk today I realize we have nothing to say and you realize it also, you even said so yourself, nothing to hold on to, nothing to hope for. I guess maybe we both got closure if thats possible. All we do is hurt eachother everytime and its not about right or wrong or who did it first, Not sure why we were holding on, maybe in some way I didn't want to feel how I do feel. I knew this day would come and it does hurt but I am ok with it. You need to be happy and I dont do it for you not in a long time. I know I told you I loved you and miss you at least I am true to myself my heart and I guess thats my way of saying GOODBYE forever. As i said I do wish you a wonderful life and I do hate that this is what became of us. I can't allow myself to hurt anymore and you don't understand what I mean. be safe OK..not a day will go by without me thinking about you and what we had. SMILE baby You never looked so good as you did last night, underneath the city lights, there walking with your friend, laughing at the moon. I swear you looked right through me. But I'm still living with your goodbye, and you're just going on with your life. How can you just walk on by without one tear in your eye? Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me? Maybe that's just your way of dealing with the pain, forgetting everything between our rise and fall like we never loved at all. You, I hear you're doing fine. Seems like you're doing well as far as I can tell. Time is leaving us behind, (time – leaving us behind) another week has passed and still I haven't laughed yet. So tell me, what your secret is (I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know) to letting go, letting go like you did, like you did. How can you just walk on by without one tear in your eye? Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me? Maybe that's just your way of dealing with the pain, forgetting everything between our rise and fall like we never loved at all. Did you forget the magic? Did you forget the passion? Oh, and did you ever miss me, and long to kiss me? Oh baby, baby. Maybe that's just your way of dealing with the pain, forgetting everything between our rise and fall like we never loved at all. Another song that reminds me of you way too much tho. | ||
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Friday, February 23, 2007, 11:47:32 PM- Still not sure!!! | ||
I am still kind of lost to what toy are trying to do. I do wish one day you can read this, but since you have no clue I am here I guess you can't read it. Why do you try to manipulate what I say (who cares i spelled it wrong probably)I say one thing and you turn around and make it totally different WHY? do ypu realize that is one reason why we don't talk or when we do we fight..YES YES I know you will say it's all my fault we have established that already. I wish you can define what LOVE is to me..what you consider loving someone is. is it lying to them 24-7? hurting them? breaking their heart over n over again? is it being with someone else? Please tell me cause if thats it MAN i been doing it wrong all this time. You hurt me BIG TIME and you ask how are you hurting me HAHAH if you dont know how you hurt me then you need a reality check and you still continue to do it, but I am stopping you this time..As I said over n over no need to talk to me call me and all those other things you been doing ..You choose to be with someone else I didn't choose that.You said I am the only person in your life that you are honest with that you are not lying to, but baby before you canbe honest with anyone YOU need to be HONEST with yourself, You say you are in love with me still, Again BABY love yourself first..Figure out your life. thats what I am doing n I realize I am Happy and I am lucky for my friends and family who support me and been there when I cried and needed someone to talk to. they didn't judge me . YOU judged me!!!!!!You tried to break me and it will NOT happen!! I am stronger and have more self esteem then ever..BABY I am BEAUTIFUL and deserve better. You don't love me nor care for me you enjoyed what we had I made you see that there is a WORLD out there that is FUN EXCITING and that being with someone that you care about or love is WONDERFUL FANTASTIC EXCITING all that and more. now you are back to your boring life and you aren't happy..I made you happy. I rocked your world in more way than one and YOU MISS THAT!!! but now I moved on..its too late.. | ||
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Thursday, February 15, 2007, 11:06:59 PM- I Wonder!!!! | ||||||
I wonder why you do the things you do. We don't talk then boom you call again or you do something (you know what I am talking about) to remind me of you all over again. Ok like I said I will never forget you or us, but I am ok without you and you do the shit you do to make me think all over again. When we talk we always have an arguement of some stupid kind so I am like fine and I go on and not think about you them BOOM 1 week, 1 month, 4 months, 2weeks, however long it is till we talk again..It's annoying. I am not sure why you do what you do. IS IT to keep me there?, but trust me I am not waiting, I am finally more happy than I been in ages. but it makes me wonder, you seem like you don't want me to be happy as I said you want me to say I love you, want you, miss you and that will not happen not anymore not wiht you, you can say it all you want to me its A LIE? aren't you with the one you love now!!! you say even to this day YOU can't forget me YOU can't walk away...if thats so true why aren't you here with me? Oh yea I remember as long as we are talking you are here right? remember I am still here in the state I always lived in..where are you? oh you had to move b/c of a job HAHAHAHA u had to run cause she said RUN!! grow up get some balls OK. YOU have her as I said be happy YOU don't need me anymore, so why all the calls and shit you do? I am not mad I don't hate you, this is my way of getting what I need off my chest so I can continue to MOVE ON without you!! Hope you had a Very Happy Valentines Day!!!! I know I did | ||||||
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