LostPrincess
Gift PremiumJust here to take up space
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- 44 years old
- Female
- Joined 17 years ago
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LostPrincess's Blog
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Saturday, April 28, 2007, 3:13:03 PM- | ||
I am not missing you and talking because I was looking at you know where and saw all the shit again even after I told you it hurts me and you said that you wouldn't do it anymore. but i guess since you said u r done talking to me i am taking it all your feelings are done and thats fine. even tho I am not going to stoop to your level and go there and start talking to other men and say shit cause you told me you get hurt by it and I am not going to do it to purposely hurt you. but i see how you are and I thank you for it!!! seems you go out of your way to hurt me and you say I do that..whatever!!! i will continue to write here for the simple fact it makes me realize alot and I can get my hurt or whatever out. you love for the moment and thats sad. oh well I am not crying or anything..as I said will forever love you that will not change but as I also said I am prepared to live my life everyday enjoying it. do i believe for one second you are home, at work or just out with her or ur friends or whatever and you are thing about me..HELL NO. you talk a good talk, but I am seeing its only that. Please dont tell me what you think i need or want to hear..only thing that i want IS THE TRUTH!! be happy in ur fake world..I am happy in my real world...figure out what it means!!!!!!!!!!! | ||
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Thursday, April 26, 2007, 5:45:41 PM- the latest | ||
We been talking almost everyday for a few weeks now, so when i called you today I knew something was wrong by your voice, so I asked you and you say you cant do this anymore..DO what? you said talk not talk then talk, we been doing ok for a few week ..OK so you dont want to talk to me anymore !! FINE YOU GOT IT!!! but I think the truth is 2 things 1 she is coming home and well you wont be lonely anymore and 2 you want to talk like we use to I love you miss you I want forever..Funny how last week or so You were on the computer telling me how much you are in love with me and want me there with you and all the bs..now I get i cant do this anymore...Funny how few week ago I said the same thing to you (thats right you will not remember me saying it) seems to be that way lately. but I told you I cant do this anymore cause I am tired of hurting and I am scared one day you will say you do not want to talk to me and you said that will not happen OH but it just did and you also said to me SO it will not hurt you or bother ypu if we do not talk ..HMMMM u say it to me and I guess its better for you we dont talk and I guess it doesnt hurt you. You got what you want. I will not call you anymore and IF we ever do talk(only way that will hapen is if you call me) DO NOT say oh you said not to call you cause thats a lie THIS time you are the one that cant do it anymore!!! I will just continue to write how I feel and get thru it alone. I will be ok I am done crying as I said why should I cry you dont sit there crying over me!! Enjoy life with what you have.. | ||
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Sunday, April 22, 2007, 10:38:01 PM- | ||
i really enjoyed our little talk on the computer Thusdy nite it was like old times ALMOST. I don't know when you are playing or not, saying you love me I believe that, but saying you want me there with you and when I said if I go there its forever and you dont want that you said to me how do I know what you want, so are you saying u want me forever? I dont think so. I am the fool for letting you get to me. then today I go on and see all the shit you say to all the women there..PLS dont call me gorgeous sexy and beautiful when you call those skanks there the same thing..and yea go meet them as u say OH we should meet. I dont care if you are just messing around you say you hate when I say shit to the men and I stopped but you keep doing it and you go lookin for them I dont look for them they see me talking to you and they start not ME!!So i see how it is..I am getting tired of it...go have ur fun..I will have mine!!! | ||
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007, 12:23:06 PM- | ||
i hate when i have these days when all i do is think. I try so hard to forget, i dont want to forget u or us I want to forget my feelings. I know it makes no sense. I can't understand how you can go thru eachday and be ok, unles as I said you don't love me anymore. you told me you can't switch your feelings on and off but I think you do. I think you love me when we talk and as soon as she is there you love her. I doubt you will be sitting next to her thinking damn I wish that was ____. I also do not think when you are looking at her you think I wish that was ____, nor do i think when you hold her make love to her kiss her you are thinking damn I wish that was____.No matter what I do all i think is I wish that was HIM.. I wish I can see you face feel ur lips look into your eyes..but these are all I WISHES! I hate pretending all is ok with me in front of family and friends but I have no choice. At times I feel like I am just going thur life and not living it..I know I got to make my owm happiness I got to make life what it is, but how do I do that when you are in my thoughts on my mind 24-7. Not sure how I can be in love with someone who clearly doesnt want to be with me. I know in life we dont pick and choose who we love. we can't control love we can try to block it try not to accept it but you love who you love and YOU are the one I am in love with!! | ||
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Thursday, April 12, 2007, 1:55:45 PM- | ||||||
I feel so broken so empty inside, I am lost and confused. I know we are done, but I can't stop thinking about you. I feel I will never be completely happy. I hate all this. I know you are the one for me. We haven't seen eachother for almost 1 1/2 yrs and all I do is think about you everyday. I wonder what you are doing, where you are, if you are happy if you are thinking about me if you miss me miss us, I dont wonder who you are with because that I already know. I do believe in my heart that you love me but I am not sure if you are truly in love with me anymore. You tell me you love me and all that, but I dont feel it. I guess it makes no difference that fact is you dont want me. You have all these reasons we can't be together I have ONE REASON we can't...YOU!! One day this us will all end. we will stop talking one day. I am not sure why we talk now. I do like talking to you (when we don't fight) I love your voice but is this all we have? Is this good enough? I know why I can't let you go but why can't you let me go? I guess there are people out there who are in love with someone they can't be with and they go thru life that way and I am one of those people. I know when she comes back I am forgotten, you will settle in your life with her and be happy and in love and all is good. Please do not pretend you arent happy and in love wth her. Please don't pretend you are thinking about me when you are with her. you will go home to her every night and live your life happy. its always been that way and always will. you will say i am with him and doing the same. ( see I know you) I guess today is one of those days where I think think think. All i know is I am truly in love with you, BUT as always YOU dont want me..I get it I am not that stupid, but I can't get over you. I hate all THIS!!!! | ||||||
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Wednesday, April 4, 2007, 10:16:26 PM- For You!!! | ||
Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one To build me up and tear me down, Like an old abandoned house. What you said when you left Just left me cold and out of breath. I fell too far, was in way too deep. Guess I let you get the best of me. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you. You took a hammer to these walls, Dragged the memories down the hall, Packed your bags and walked away. There was nothing I could say. And when you slammed the front door shut, A lot of others opened up, So did my eyes so I could see That you never were the best for me. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. Well I'm putting my heart back together, 'Cause I got over you. Well I got over you. I got over you. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you. | ||
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Saturday, March 31, 2007, 1:21:31 AM- | ||
WOW we made it a week and no fighting UNTIL TODAY..I hope you can now realize its not ME that starts the fight..U like to get me going. You say things and then you get a response that you dont want to hear and then u get mad. like when I said to you oh I thought u were my mom again calling YOU SAID or your other boyfriend or saying wow you are out partying all night So I said NO i wasnt out partying I was getting LAID!! DON'T look for shit that isnt there. The last few days all you did was make comments on my having a boyfriend when YOU know that is COMPLETE BS! but believe what you want and it shouldnt make a difference to you and you get mad cause I will not tell you where I chat WHY should I? Come May or June you will not be allow to go on the computer at all. You tell me I look for stuff that isnt there when you do it also. You are thru talking to me thats fine. Like I said to you today You arent sitting home thinking of me 24-7 wondering what I am doing DAMN you arent even home half the time. Like I also told you when you said to me today and u r suppose to love me and want to be with me and you say shit like you do..my repsonse to you was I LOST THAT DREAM!! I cant live in a pretend world I wont do that..YOU made it clear that you cant be with me for your reasons. So I cant make you and fight you about that. I have to accept it.mI cant change the fact I cant have kids or my age or anything. IF you truly LOVE someone you accept them for who they are. Guess I am not the one you truly love!! at least we had a good week.. Take care AGAIN!! | ||
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Friday, March 30, 2007, 3:34:14 AM- | ||
I want to say to you that MAYBE we found a ground to be friends or should I say I found one. I realize being hurt is not how I want to live and I rather live my life happy and I am going to try day by day to do that. I know I go back n forth with how I feel what I say and I guess thats all process work. I mean if I didn't feel hurt and sad and all that then what was it I feel for you. So all these feelings hurt sad angry happy back to hurt its all what I need to go thru to get where I need to be. I can admit it. Its not that I want to fight with you but YOU were the one that was in the relationship with me. I truly feel this week monday thru today has got to be the best we had in a long time no fighting. Its nice I like it but I wont get use to it. I am ok as long as I dont let my heart get involved. I get this feeling that we will stop talking forever soon and not because we had a fight and you know what I mean so I take it for what it is now..COMPANY.. will love you forever. | ||
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Monday, March 26, 2007, 12:22:51 PM- | ||||||
After we talked friday I did some really hard thinking over the weekend even when I was out I thought about you..WOW thats nothing new. I don't know why I can't get you out of my mind. Even when I try to push the thoughts aside they creep back. Am I that much of a pathetic person that I am in love with someone who cleary doesn't want to be with me, Yes you tell me you are in love with me and think about me all the time and forever will, but fact is you don't want to be with me. So is this what we do for the rest of out lives? we talk tell eachother we love you n all that and wish we were together wish things were different, but in reality it will never happen, or did we stop talking and never know how eachother is doing. I asked you do we talk until you decide you are staying where u are at and you are happy and all that again then we dont talk your answer was maybe I dont know. SO i take that as a YES. I need to decide if I want yo accept that and the answer is NO. I am not going to talk to you until you say ok all is good again i am happy again so we dont talk. My heart is already broken and I thought it cant be broken anymore BOY i was wrong. Not sure whats going to happen if we are going to try to find some kind of level of friendship or not but whatever it is I am going to move along .. | ||||||
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Friday, March 23, 2007, 3:10:33 AM- Not Sure!! | ||
I am 100% lost. Do you like to get me mad and look for fights and then blame me? I am not sure what you are up to I am lost DUH.love me hate me want me then not. Look you can choose to believe what you want. I know how I feel i love you never stopped never will. I am not scared or ashamed to admit that. You seem to want me mad at you for some reason. LOOK i told you I was ok with it all I AM NOT MAD I was hurt but not anymore. I accept it all. I do care for you I do love talking WHEN we arent fighting, but I needed to know some things and now I do. NO problems. Remember U said U R DONE. You told me today..when I said I am done you didnt let me finish I was gonna say I am done with praying for us. but NO u jumped in and said to me " you are done I am done" so you are done..OK fine...Guess its how u feel. Be well be safe..My love is with ya forever | ||
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