lil sis
Gift Premiumi enjoy many interests including playing the bass, painting, sculpting, and being naked. i would live naked if the law allowed it.
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- 55 years old
- Female
- Joined 18 years ago
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lil sis's Blog
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Friday, September 24, 2010, 3:01:29 PM- Returning from the past and moving to the future. | ||||||
I have not written here in a long while and feel the need to journal again so off I go. I am a 42 year old woman, in a committed long term relationship, that used to claim Dom/slave, and polyamorous, but now feel is more like I am his care taker. I am working thru my feelings about that, but am content for now. Mostly it is the meds, he takes robbing him of drive, inspiration, desire, imagination, will, motivation, or anything resembling the man I fell in love with. Fall, deep and hard, I did tho, with the mind fucking creativity, loving after care, and stimulation on so many levels. When I gave my heart and soul to him that vow is just as powerful to me today as the day I was first collard. I belong to him, but he is no longer my daddy. Which although more torturous to me than any bdsm scene, ever could be, I accept. He is good to me, loving and respectful, caring of my feelings, asking little of me, but everything. Waiting on him hand and foot, is an honor I will bare, and cherish giving him any comfort I can, and all the love he can take. His illness is mental, like my own, although I have diabetes too. He is deserving of all my honor and respect and adoration. I have gotten other tattoos since that last post, and will be posting pics. So this is my first post in years. | ||||||
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Monday, October 29, 2007, 4:00:25 AM- Newest tat | ||||||
I just got tattooed again today. It is 2 skunks kissing on my belly with their noses meeting in the crack of my pussy. One of them has a nice pink penis and testis. I have never had a tattoo hurt so much. Added to the pain was that the tattoo artist kept stopping to lick at my clit every 1/2 hour or so. I will post pics when the swelling goes down. It may be a while cuz Daddy can't seem to leave it be either and th constant fucking is causing friction on it and making all the more tender. lol | ||||||
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Friday, October 26, 2007, 2:03:23 AM- How I got my nipples pierced | ||||||
I recently got my nipples pierced. I was looking to get a tattoo and walked into a local artists place. I told him that I wanted a skunk tattooed on my vagina, with its nose buried in my crack and the body covering my tummy with the tail wrapping around my side. I explained that it was to cover an old tattoo on my pussy, that I had done of the name of the guy who gave me my first orgasm. The artist asked if he could see the tat he would be covering. I lifted my skirt and the look of surprise and excitement on his face when he saw what was there tickled me. I had just had my labia rings up gauged to size 4, and Daddy had hung padlock from those rings to give me that much more discomfort while walking around feeling. The glint of all that metal captured his eye. The sound of them clicking togethr when I walk about drove him mad. He asked if he could take a picture of my pussy. I laughed and said, "It is for before and after shots of the work right?" He assured me it was, but I knew he was going to use them to stroke of with. While he was on his knees snapping away with the camera, he asked how much they weighed. Then if he could touch them. I said OK. He held the locks in his hand, then pulled them apart and spread my lips to expose my clit. I told him that I was going to get my nipples pierced soon. It turned out sooner than I thought, lol. He blushed a bit when he asked if I would go to the semi private tattoo area and sit on the table so he could get a taste. I happily obliged. He licked and slurped, uncaring that the door was unlocked and anyone could have entered the shop at any time. He got his fill and stood up thanking me very sweetly when I asked him, "Wanna switch places so I can reciprocate?" He was shocked, but could not unbutton his pants fast enough. He took out his cock and started saying that he would understand if I changed my mind. I looked at his swollen pecker and saw that not only did he have a tattoo on his dick, but his scrotum was pierced and he had a prince albert 4 gauge. This is not the first time I saw a prince albert, so I assured him it was OK and began sucking. I did not take long to finish the blow job, and when he came down my throat he jumped off the table and went to set up the piercing room. While I was sucking him off he offered to pierce my nipples right then. I walked out of there in sub space, and have an appointment for later to get my skunk tat done, and made a new friend. Wink. | ||||||
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Friday, October 26, 2007, 1:41:53 AM- N | ||
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Saturday, April 21, 2007, 12:36:40 AM- Daddy is away. | ||||||
It seems that we have not been apart hardly at all for the past 3 months. He has gone away for nearly a week to do his duty tending fire for his native brothers vision quest. I miss him greatly as I think of him camping in the great wilderness, nearly naked in his Native American garb. The heat of the fire he has vowed to keep alive over the next 4 days blowing his gorgeous long hair back away from his ash smudged face. I see his dark brown eyes, in my mind, as he ponders the well being of his brother on his quest alone in the woods with no protection but prayer to see him through. I hear, in my heart, as he begins the chanting song of support and unity for his native bother. I watch with my soul as he begins dancing around the fire and the prayers of this kind loving gentle native are carried to the heavens on the smoke he is swore to keep alive. I love you my dearest warrior, hunter, protector, owner, lover friend. My Daddy, please know that I am with you in spirit, and miss you in body. I will be so glad when you return to me, my love. You, Daddy, are my One. I know that you are thinking of me as well. I am taking great care of my self. This flu will not keep me down for long. Many of our friends have stopped in to check on my health and well being as you have asked of them. Thank you my love for being so uniquely you. Simply Yours, shan | ||||||
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Monday, February 5, 2007, 12:35:31 AM- Collared forever | ||||||
We met several years ago while he was involved and I was involved and involved our selves in being play partners with the full consent and knowledge of significant others. The first time we played together I gave him a part of me I had hidden for everyone else. His image nestled into my psych for all eternity as something I craved and longed for but was not meant to be. I cradled my desire to be possessed by Him and nurtured it at my breast over the years as we played at being "just friends". I knew we were meant for more. I sensed from our first encounter that I was created long ago for His use. I was clay waiting for Him to mold, change, sculpt into the beautiful work of art I am becoming under His creative manipulations. His hands working the magic that makes me feel desirable, wet, well used, cherished, loved, adored, and His. I hear the sweet words He whispers of love and lust and plans for our future. I accepted the collar He offered me a few weeks back, but I was collared by Him long before in my own mind. A collar to me is more a symbol of a vow, a promise more personal, more bonding than a wedding ring or ceremony. I gave Him myself with a promise that I would always belong to Him. He gave me no promises, just that day, and a sad look with His so sexy brown eyes that express so much. His eyes told me what He could not say allowed then, He loved me too. The collar He offered me a few weeks back is one He has had for a while. It is leather and red. Many play partners have borrowed and worn it before me. I don't mind that, as I said it is the symbolism, not the pretty jewelry. It can be easily removed for taking showers and other practical reasons, but that is about to end. I am getting a permanent collar. One made of metal, with a lock, that will never be removed. It will remind me always and ever more (like I need reminding) that I belong to Daddy, I exist for His pleasure. It is my responsibility to take care of His most prized possession (me) by staying healthy, happy by allowing Him to spoil me in every way, and to submit to His desires always. The collar will also reveal to others that I am His possession to ease the bouts of jealousy He gets when I speak to another for just a second to long. It tickles me when He steps in to claim His ownership in clubs when I am engaged in conversation with a too eager someone who thinks I may have my head turned his way by the size of his whip. It is Daddy's unusual mind that attracts me, His freedom of spirit, His dark creative energy, and the power of the light that shines like a beacon where ever He is. I am not the usual BDSM lady thriving and satisfied with a spanking and being bound once a week. I am a creative naughty sensual creature who really loves to fuck. I understand why He keeps me on a short leash so to speak. Fucking aside, He is my one and only love. He is my Daddy and I want no other. Making love to Him is a spiritual thing for me. Not having Him in my life would be like not breathing. We share so much together in our lives. I read aloud to Him as He massages me, we cook together and snuggle up in silence just to be near each other. The only time we are really apart now is when I am at work, and he sends me sweet e mails saying He hopes I enjoyed the lunched He packed for me. All the loving things we do together, all the wicked pleasures He shares with me, the beatings and bondage, making love 4 times a day, snuggling and laughing, being His slutty whore. All these things make me His forever. Now I am getting the collar that says I am forever His. The collar He alone will hold the key too. The collar that symbolizes forever to me. It is going to be expensive, but He tells me I am worth it. Doing the research to find the perfect one. I am so excited and happy. | ||||||
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Tuesday, January 23, 2007, 1:28:46 AM- Happpily owned | ||
His greatest possession He tells me i am. With out me He is just an ordinary man, He says. i saw long ago all the wonders He has to offer a slave like me. His kind concern for those around Him, even strangers. His awesome mind, with wisdom and wild imagination, and the darkness behind His loving eyes are things i see. He offers me the world and asks me my hearts desire. “Hurt me, Daddy”, is my whispered plea and He loves me for it. The kiss of the flogger tells me i am adored. i writhe in sweet agony drowning in pleasure. He can see the desire on my face and smiles down at me wickedly, His intent shining in His eyes. He is gone to give me what i begged for, and then some. Always He pushes me further that i think i can go. My limits shattered, boundaries destroyed as my body is ravaged and used. When He is finished with the flogger, my body battered, my thoughts floating in the euphoric cloud of pleasure, He offers me once more the chance to kiss the leather handle of the device that has kissed my own flesh so unkindly. Eagerly i press my lips to its bulbous leather bound head, quivering with unspent desire. Along the handle i lay my lips, uttering “Thank You” to my beloved Daddy, until i find my trembling mouth at His hand. i nuzzle at Him as He begins to stroke my hair. “Good girl.” He praises me and i feel and orgasm building. “For being such a good girl, I think I will fist you now.” He adds in his sweet voice. i lose control of my body, orgasm overwhelming me at the thought of such and intimate touch by His hand. i assume the position readying myself to be filled with His loving hand. Later abused and spent, i lay in my mind. Completely relaxed with no energy left to even move, He gathers me so sweetly in to His arms and whispers words of adoration in my ear. He loves me best this way, used and crushed, spent and drawn, sore and exhausted. i love Him best when He makes me this way. He makes love to me now, using my body as He desires, as a toy to bring His own orgasm. An hour passes as He strokes my torn and bruised insides with His beloved cock. All the while telling me that i am His and His alone. Daddy’s slut He calls me. i am His completely. He gifts me His climax and tells me once more He loves me. I am His girl, His love, His all. He wants no one but me right now. | ||
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Tuesday, December 5, 2006, 11:59:33 AM- Still among the living | ||||||
Content and happy, busy and vital, alive and thriving, stronger and healthier, perverted and loving it. Life is grand! | ||||||
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Tuesday, July 11, 2006, 11:57:34 PM- what i get from being a sub | ||||||
If you get your information about the D/s community from the media then you may think some one like me has self esteem issues or low self value images but you would be wrong. The media portrays this lifestyle in an inaccurate stereotype that is both ignorant and prejudice. In the view of the world i am a submissive to Another, and His slave, making me lower than the lowest. He has taken my will and i must serve His every whim or be punished. He can use me as He chooses and abuse me as He desires. i am a weak powerless person who does not feel good enough about myself to stand up to the abuse and leave. i am dominated and motivated by fear. In reality i am most valued property, a treasured asset, loved and cherished beyond the capabilities of most of the people who believe the medias hype. my power was never taken from me. i am a strong vigorous beautiful individual who chooses to give my submission to my Master and His slave. i love to be used as He chooses. It brings me great pleasure to do everything i can to make Him comfortable and happy. i would do anything for His smile and to hear His sweet voice utter the words “Good girl.” He can abuse me as He desires, but He does not. i am a pain slut. i get off on it, and the worst thing He could do to me would be to shut me out and not give me that encouragement and attention i crave at His hand. i have never felt more powerful, desirable, adored, appreciated, respected, prized or loved in all my life. i am motivated by my love for these people. my natural cravings as a submissive to give satisfaction to my Master. It brings me the greatest of pleasure to know that i have done everything with in my power to bring Him joy. i sleep well at night, between the two most loving people i have ever met knowing that i bring comfort and satisfaction into their lives. i fear only the loss of them in my life, but i do not dwell on the future sorrows, instead i focus on each day and making them as happy as i can. i love to hear them laugh. You never see that on TV when this lifestyle is portrayed. All i have ever seen is unhappy slaves, chained and mistreated, yelled at unappreciated, devalued and abused. That is not my life. We are a happy family. We spend a lot of time laughing and doing fun things. i have compared our life to that show Leave it to Beaver, but with a kink. we live mostly with the values of the 19050’s TV family the Cleavers. Sir like Ward is the undisputed head of our house hold. When asked for our opinion or input on any matter pauline and i will happily advise Sir as to our desires. Sir considers our input, our needs and what would be best for us all and makes the final decision and we abide by His wishes. we show Sir respect in many little ways as well as in the major ones. When meals are served we offer Him His plate first. He gets His choicest picks. Sir likes the end pieces of home made bread, meat loaf, BBQ Pork roast etc. we reserve those for Him because we know He enjoys them. we are proud of our Master and we enjoy helping Him look His best. we comb His hair fresh from the shower, i love doing this, it makes me feel close to Him. i enjoy touching Him when ever i may. (His hair is long and silky and getting these glorious blond highlights.) pauline gives Him manicures and pedicures so His fingers and toes look their best and because He enjoys it. she trims his facial hair and keeps Him tidy. i take great pleasure in doing the laundry. i have never felt like it was a chore or unappreciated. i like doing the dishes and even scrubbing the toilet is a pleasure for me. i take pride in the fact that i am making our environment more pleasant to live in. i thrive in this lifestyle caring so much for others that i would do anything for them. we have an honesty between us that often is not found in today’s society. we must have trust in this relationship for it to survive. Not everyone was honest in the 50’s, but a deal closed on a handshake was more likely to be honored than it would be today. we are able to talk about anything and work thru any situation that arises because we are honest and claim responsibility for our actions. No one here blames another for their feelings or misunderstandings. we simply tell one another how we feel and work through it together. we don’t scream at each other or fight. we show one another the respect we deserve and talk about everything. There are no secrets, no deceptions, not even half truths. Then there is the sex. Sir takes immense enjoyment out of seeing pauline and i have fun together. He derives tremendous pleasure from our pleasure. Having two such awesome lovers so focused on my needs and desires is so fantastic that i have to pinch myself sometimes to see if i am dreaming. (Well i settle for Sir pinching me, lol, that’s His job.) i have never had anyone so in tune with my body. They know just what it takes to bring me to orgasm and they use that knowledge and skill to perfection. pauline is an empathetic. she picks up on what i am feeling and senses my moods. she always knows when to hold an orgasm back from me until just the right moment making it all the sweeter when i find release. she knows when i can not hold there for another second and gives me that final push over the edge, giving me release and a glimpse of euphoria, but only after permission has been granted by Sir. Sir is a student of human nature. He has a natural curiosity about life and people that has trained Him to scrutinize people with the ability to see them in a better light then many see them selves. When He looks at me i feel like i am His whole focus. we have a safe word, but i have forgotten it. i do not feel that i will ever need it. Sir knows how to read my body. He understands that when my eyes are tearing during a spanking it is the joy of the pleasure i find in the pain that makes me cry. He knows that it is the ecstasy in the pain that makes my body jerk, twitch and tremble. He sees that i find release in our play time and that i trust Him completely with my body mind and soul. He is an expert in reading people and i am an open book to Him. People at work have asked me what i get out of being a submissive, or will i get a butt load of cash when i reach a point in my life when i can become a slave. i tried a time or two to explain that if someone were choosing this lifestyle for money they would be doing it for the wrong reasons. i have not seen pauline and Sir’s contract and don’t know if there is a part about the slave owning anything, but the few i have read during me research on the net have said everything the slave owns becomes the sole property of the Master. i know that Sir is a most generous Owner and not the most typical of Masters. He allows pauline and i times of freedom to masturbate at our will and orgasms that enable us to be healthy, happy people. He encourages us to find things we enjoy doing to seek a well balanced life that is conducive to our well being. Like pauline’s gardening and my arts. He has never said per say that the money i earn belongs to Him to use as He sees fit, but i believe that it is understood that everything i earn or own is to be used for the betterment of the family. Whether that means spent for His enjoyment or saved for the future. i pay a bit from each check towards the bills, and the rest has been going in to savings. Again i trust Sir to make responsible decisions concerning finances. Sir is not the kind of person who would take everything for selfish purposes and offer nothing in return, if He were i would not be offering Him my gift of submission. Those type of actions would make Him unworthy of the love, respect and honor He has earned along with my trust. So what do i get out of being a submissive? i get the satisfaction of doing a good job in taking care of Sir and pauline’s needs. i get to feel empowered by my choice to submit to only One and letting other peoples demands fall on deaf ears. i get a sense of pride from being accepted as being worthy to be allowed into Sir and pauline’s select few of close friends. i get to be owned and cherished by the finest man i have ever met. i get Sir’s protection for the hardships in life that snagged me and held me from reaching my potential in the past. i get the respect and love of two of the greatest people on earth. i get Sir’s intellect in dealing with decisions that pinned me in place with uncertainty in the past. i get Sir’s encouragement to be a better person. i get to be the healthiest, most well balanced, happiest, most loved, treasured, knowledge seeking, prized, content, helpful, nurtured, giving, loving, useful, self improving, empowered, stable, responsible, strongest person i have ever been to this day. i think to many people are to selfish to comprehend this. They expect monetary gain for the freedom they think they would be losing. Yet they run around trying to please friends and family members because they are expected to. They buy X-mas gifts while making lists of things they hope to get, not really finding pleasure in the giving. They cook for their family not finding joy in the action, just doing what is expected and living the life that they have been spoon fed since birth as normal. i have been determined to be abnormal. i am glad in this. Thank the heavens i am saved from a normal sheep existence and that i can live out side of the herd. Sir is my Sheppard and i am His circus sheep, trained to jump through fire for Him, walk a tight rope, dance the hootchy cootchy or service the masses of the herd if that is His desire. He keeps me safe and treats me well and the rewards of being Owned by Him are to numerous to count. i love you Sir and pauline. i miss you both terribly. Please come home to me safely soon. Adoringly yours eternally. lil’ sis | ||||||
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Sunday, July 2, 2006, 5:13:15 AM- We spent the day building a | ||||||
bridge over the stream that divides the property so p and i can get to the berries in the wilderness over there for making jam. Then i went into the river in an innner tube to tie a cable around a boat dock we salvaged from the tide. Our neighbor used his tractor to pull it out. i am getting quite the tan. | ||||||
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