mortadella5553's Blog

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation.

The Yellow Labrador turned to the Black Labrador and said, " So why are you here?
"I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids.
But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The Yellow Lab said, " So what's the vet going to do? "

" Gonna cut my nuts off" came the reply from the Black Lab.
"They reckon it'll calm me down."

The Black Lab then turned to the Yellow Lab and asked " Why are you here? "

The Yellow Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets.
But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in owner's couch."
" So what are they going to do to you? " the Black Lab inquired.

" Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Yellow Lab said.

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, " Why are you here? "

" I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see."
Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself.
I hopped on her back and started hammering away."

The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, " So, it's nuts off for you too, huh ?”

The Great Dane said, “ No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"

TRUE story:

A man and his wife were making HOT rough love in the middle of the day when their son Timmy came home early from school. Timmy surprised them in the bedroom. Dad looks at Timmy, winks and keeps right on boinking.

After they are done, Dad put on his robe and tries to find his son to talk. After searching awhile he hears noise coming from the back bedroom. He opens the door to see Timmy on top of his grandmother, boinking away like a madman, Timmy winks and keeps right on going.

After, Timmy finds his Dad in the living room with his head hung low. Dad sees him and says "why Timmy?"



Timmy replies: It's not so fucking funny when it's YOUR mother is it?

sickkkkkkkkkkkk- sorry, I couldn't help myself

I posted this a few years ago and thought it might get another chuckle.
Thanks for lookin!

I just saw that Greg passed. Sad news for me. I posted a little more in the goodbye thread.

Rest in Peace Greg, I am saddened and you are missed.
Best to your wife & family.
Mort.

To perv a little and see whats new. Hello to anybody that remembers me I hope all is well with you , and if you don't remember me-- Hello anyway. Life is good, almost finished with a remodel of my house. Damm the finishing goes slow. Did I ever tell you how much I love painting? I musta forgot.

Best to all, Mort

Took my daughter and grandsons to Golden Gate National Cemetery to put flowers on Mom and Dad's grave. Mom's name is on the reverse side of the headstone (she was a Nurse/Lieutenant in the Army).

The oldest,7 1/2,asked "how many people are buried here?" I could only think Too Many.




This second pic is a view from the grave of a small portion of the cemetery.

The flags were put on every grave by the Boy Scouts the day before.





May God bless all those who served, and protect those serving now. I can only say THANK YOU! to them.

Last Valentines day was better than this years. I did a small favor for a friend and it made me feel good. This years started good but ended up weak. OH Well.
Thanks for lookin!

Been quite a while since I looked in. Hello Everybody!!

I read this in "The Kite Runner" a novel I just finished:

"That's the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too"

Do you suppose that is true? Is that why some people are gullible and others no so musch so?

Thanks for lookin', Mort

Mom died one year ago today. Not a day to be sad for me, a day to gladly remember Mom's life. She was strong and confident and a good Mom. Taught my sister and I right from wrong and built a strong work ethic into us. Dad was always there contributing to our development also. Mom was an Army Nurse in WWII, dad was a Bowsons Mate in the Navy. They are buried at Golden Gate National Cemetary. (it took an intervention by our congressman to get them into GG cemtary- Thank You Pete Stark).

Thanks Mom and Dad for all you did for me. Thanks also for you service to this great country. Thanks to all those still serving so we may have such a great country.

I will have a drink for you tonight Mom- a Martini with 2 olives. May God bless.

The goings on here have saddened me lately, so I have not been coming around much. I did receive an email with the following pic that made me laugh, so here it is- hope you get a smile too.





thanks for lookin'
Mort